A True Marauder, For Life?
by CupKait
Summary: Have you ever wondered what would happen if the Marauders read the Harry Potter books? Well in this story you find out what happens when the Marauders plus some unexpected guests read 'Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban'.
1. Owl Post

Remus, James, and Sirius were sitting in the boy's dormitory at Hogwarts schoolof witchcraft and wizardry. It was a rather ugly morning but was supposed to clear up in the afternoon.

Sirius and James were doing their homework that they had neglected to do on Saturday or Friday night. Remus already had done it and decided to read. He walked down to the common room to look at the bookshelves.

_ Hogwarts a History, History of Merlin, Simple Spells and Curses, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Magical Me._ "Wait what?" Remus drew himself back two titles to find a book titled _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. _"Sounds interesting." Said Remus and started to walk back up to the boy's dormitory.

"Look at the book I found in the common room." Remus showed the book to James and Sirius. "Relative of yours prongs?" asked Remus. "No, I don't think so." said James while scratching his head. "Well, how bout we read it?" said Sirius. "Okay, moony you do the honors." said James.

"All right then." said Remus.

** Harry Potter was a highly unusual boy in many ways. For one thing, he hated the summer holidays more than any other time of the year.**

"What is this boy crazy?" said James looking up from his holiday homework to Remus. "Hey I'm just reading the book." said Remus shrugging his shoulders. "If you ask me, he sounds like a nutter." said Sirius. "We didn't." said James smiling.

** For another, he really wanted to do his homework, but was forced to do it in secret, in the dead of night.**

"Now he really sounds like a nutter." said Sirius now taking the book out of Remus's hands. "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban interesting wonder who the prisoner is." said Remus out loud.

**And he also happened to be a wizard**.

"What's so odd about that?" said Sirius looking up from the Marauders map. "Hmm let me see, what's wrong with being a wizard to muggles. Oh, nothing!" said James sarcastically.

** It was nearly midnight, and he was lying on his front in bed, the blankets drawn right over his head like a tent, a torch in one hand and a large leather-bound book (A History of Magic,**

"Good for him maybe he can give us some answers for our History essay!" said Sirius smiling. "You git, it's a book!" said James while rolling his eyes. "Can I continue?" said Remus. "Yes. Go ahead."

**by Adalbert Waffling) propped open against the pillow. Harry moved the tip of his eagle-feather quill down the page, Frowning as he looked for something that would help him write his essay, ''Witch-Burning in the Fourteenth Century Was Completely Pointless –– discuss''. **

"It was completely pointless! How weird? This boy, Harry must go to Hogwarts." said Remus with the look he always gets when he concentrating on something for a long time. "Maybe." said James now messing up his hair like he always does.

** The quill paused at the top of a likely-looking paragraph. Harry pushed his round glasses up his nose and moved his torch closer to the book and read:  
Non-magic people (more commonly known as Muggles) were particularly afraid of magic in medieval times, but not very good at recognizing it. On the rare occasion that they did catch a real witch or wizard, burning had no effect whatsoever.**

"I swear muggles are so thick! Thinking that the witch wouldn't like to be burnt! Ha! " said Sirius laughing. "Sorry Remus no prospect of having a point of view from muggles over there. " said James pointing to Sirius who was still laughing.

** The witch or wizard would perform a basic Flame-Freezing Charm and then pretend to shriek with pain while enjoying gentle, tickling sensation. Indeed, Wendelin the Weird enjoyed being burnt so much that she allowed herself to be caught no fewer than forty-seven times in various disguises.**

"No wonder why she is Wendelin the Weird." said James looking up from his homework. "She was a little bit strange." said Remus.

** Harry put his quill between his teeth and reached underneath his pillow for his ink bottle and a roll of parchment. Slowly and very carefully he unscrewed the ink bottle, dipped his quill into it and began to write,**

"Why does the boy have to be so secretive?" said Sirius with a look of confusion. "Sh, we will find out if you let moony here, finish."

**pausing every now and then to listen, because if any of the Dursleys heard the scratching of his quill on their way to the bathroom, he'd probably find himself locked in the cupboard under the stair for the rest of the summer.**

"Well that's a bit harsh if you ask me. The boy wants to do his homework yet the are going to punish him for doing it. Wish my mum was like that." said James smiling.

** The Dursley family of number four, Privet Drive, was the reason that Harry never enjoyed his summer holidays. Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia and their son, Dudley, were Harry's only living relatives. They were Muggles, and they had a very medieval attitude towards magic.**

"Poor lad hate to be ripped from magic for two months!" said Sirius with sympathy for the boy. "Yeah, but why is he living with muggles?" said James.

** Harry's dead parents, who had been a witch and wizard themselves, were never mentioned under the Dursley roof. For years, Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon had hoped that if they kept Harry as downtrodden as possible, they would be able to squash the magic out of him.**

"That would explain it then." said James. "How the bloody hell do you squish the magic out of someone?" said Sirius thinking. "You can't." said Remus.

** To their fury, they had been unsuccessful, and now lived in terror of anyone finding out at Harry had spent most of the last two years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The most the Dursleys could do these days was to lock away Harry's spell books, wand, cauldron and broomstick at the start of the summer holidays, and forbid him to talk to the neighbors.**

"How rude!" yelled James as if Harry was his son. "Calm down James, it's not like he's your son or anything." said Sirius standing up. He walked over to his trunk and pulled out a chocolate frog. "Here eat this." said Sirius handing the frog to James.

** This separation from his spell books had been a real problem for Harry, because his teachers at Hogwarts had given him a lot of holiday work. One of the essays, a particularly nasty one about Shrinking Potions, was for Harry's least favorite teacher, Professor Snape.**

"Ew, that stupid git became a teacher?" said James. "Probably not a good professor, though." said Remus. "You'd make a better teacher moony." said Sirius.

** As long as he didn't leave spots of ink on the sheets, the Dursleys need never know that he was studying magic by night. Harry was keen to avoid trouble with his aunt and uncle at the moment, as they were already in a bad mood with him, all because he'd received a telephone call from a fellow wizard on a week into the school holidays. **

** Ron Weasley, who was one of Harry's best friends at Hogwarts, came from a whole family of wizards. This meant that he knew a lot of things Harry didn't, but had never used a telephone before. Most unluckily, it had been Uncle Vernon who had answered the call.  
''Vernon Dursley speaking.''  
Harry, who happened to be in the room at the time, froze as he heard Ron's voice answer.  
''HELLO? HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME? I - WANT - TO - TALK - TO - HARRY - POTTER!''**

"Lord, some wizards have no common sense." said Remus while shaking his head.

** Ron was yelling so loudly that Uncle Vernon jumped and held the receiver a foot away from his ear, staring at it with an expression of mingled fury and alarm.  
''WHO IS THIS?'' he roared in the direction of the mouthpiece. ''WHO ARE YOU?''  
''RON - WEASLEY!'' Ron bellowed back, as though he and Uncle Vernon were speaking from opposite ends of a football pitch. ''I'M - A - FRIEND - OF - HARRY'S - FROM - SCHOOL -''  
Uncle Vernon's small eyes swivelled around to Harry, who was rooted to the spot.  
''THERE IS NO HARRY POTTER HERE!''**

"Yes there is!" yelled James again. "Don't deny it!" yelled Sirius. "Gosh, I wish you two would calm down!" said Remus.

**he roared, now holding the receiver at arm's length, as though frightened it might explode. ''I DON'T KNOW WHAT SCHOOL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN! DON'T YOU COME NEAR MY FAMILY!''  
And he threw the receiver back onto the telephone as if dropping a poisonous spider. The row that had followed had been one of the worst ever.  
''HOW DARE YOU GIVE THIS NUMBER TO PEOPLE LIKE - PEOPLE LIKE YOU!'' Uncle Vernon roared, spraying Harry with spit.  
** "How dare you spit on him!" said James. "I think I should stop reading." said Remus. "No, no, no more Moony, more!" said Sirius pouting. "Your not five Padfoot, so grow up!" said James.

** So Harry had no word from any of his wizarding friends for five long weeks, and this summer was turning out to be almost as bad as the last one. Ron obviously realized he'd got Harry into trouble, because he hadn't called again. Harry's other best friend from Hogwarts, Hermione Granger, hadn't been in touch either. Harry suspected that Ron had warned Hermione not to call, which was a pity, because Hermione, the cleverest witch in Harry's year, had Muggle parents, knew perfectly well how to use a telephone, and would probably have had enough sense not to say that she went to Hogwarts.**

** There was just one, very small improvement: after swearing that he wouldn't use her to send letters to any of his friends, Harry had been allowed to let his owl, Hedwig out at night. Uncle Vernon had given in because of the racket Hedwig made if she was locked in her cage all the time.**

"Hmm, sounds like Ron is a bit thick to me." said Sirius smiling. "And like you aren't?" snorted James. "Now, now you children, play nicely." said a woman's voice. They spun around to find Lily Evans looking back at them. "I just came to see if I could have back my notes Potter." said Lily while checking her nails, pretending to be distracted. "No, I'm not finished, so you can't." said James smiling at her.

"What are you reading Remus?" said Lily taking a seat on Remus's bead. "And where's Peter?" said Lily looking around their dormitory. "No clue, haven't seen him this morning." said James. "Well Evans do you mind leaving? The boys and I are having a 'talk'. I'm sure you understand." said Sirius escorting her out of the room.

"Prongs could you found any other girl's notes to borrow?" said Sirius giving him a glare. "No." he said nonchalantly. "Alright then, can I continue?." asked Remus. "Yes." said Sirius still glaring at James.

** Harry finished writing about Wendelin the Weird and paused to listen again. The silence in the dark house was broken only by the distant, grunting snores of his enormous cousin, Dudley. It must be very late. Harry's eyes were itching with tiredness. Perhaps he'd finish this essay tomorrow night ... He replaced the top of the ink bottle, pulled an old pillowcase from under his bed, put the torch, A History of Magic, his essay, quill and ink inside it, got out of bed and hid the lot under a loose floorboard under his bed. **

**Then he stood up, stretched, and checked the time on the luminous alarm clock on his bedside table. It was one o'clock in the morning. Harry's stomach gave a funny jolt. He had been thirteen years old without realizing it, for a whole hour.**

"Happy birthday Harry!" yelled Sirius in a sing-song voice. "You git it's just a book! It's not like the real Harry is really here." said James giving him a rather rude look. " I swear." said Remus shaking his head. "You swear?" said Sirius now smiling. "Shut up, and" said James yelling. "Continue."

**Yet another unusual thing about Harry was how little he looked forward to his birthdays. He had never received a birthday card in his life. The Dursleys had completely ignored his last two birthdays, and he had no reason to suppose they would remember this one.**

"Aw how sad?" said Lily walking back up the stairs. "What I thought we got rid of you?!" said Sirius with a look of confusion. "Yeah well I wanted to know what you three were talking about. Im sorry I couldn't help it." she said smiling warily while taking a seat on Remus's bed again.

"What book are you reading?" she asked looking at Remus. "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban." he said. "Now can I continue?" he said a little bit agitated. "Sure." she said while smirking at Sirius. Sirius quickly sneered and went back to doing his homework while listening.

** Harry walked across the dark room, past Hedwig's large, empty cage, to the open window. He leaned on the sill, the cool night air pleasant on his face after a long time under the blankets. Hedwig had been absent for two nights now. Harry wasn't worried about her: she'd been gone this long before. But he hoped she'd be back soon - she was the only living creature in this house who didn't flinch at the sight of him. Harry, though still rather small and skinny for his age, had grown a few inches over the last year.**

"What's wrong with the boy? Small and skinny?" said Sirius. "Well actually Sirius, it's quite normal girl's mature a lot faster than males. Which means he has a while before he matures." said Remus. "That explains a lot." whispered Lily. "Hey!" said Sirius offended.

** His jet-black hair, however, was just as it always had been - stubbornly untidy, whatever he did to it.**

"Sounds like James." said Sirius. "Yeah, it kind of does." said Lily looking sideways at James. "Will you stop looking at me like I'm some kind of animal in a exhibition." said James annoyed.

**The eyes behind his glasses were bright green,**

"And that sounds like you Lily!" said Sirius. Sirius jumped up and down and started singing "Here comes the bride, all dressed in white!" "Will you stop that?" yelled Lily while hitting him in the head with a pillow. "Continue on." said James the slightest bit pink.

**and on his forehead, clearly visible through his hair, was a thin scar, shaped like a bolt of lightning. Of all the unusual things about Harry, this scar was the most extraordinary of all.**

"How could a scar be extraordinary?" said Sirius. "They can come in quite useful, Dumbledore has when of the underground map of London." said Remus. "Really, I want one!" yelled James and Harry at once. "I'm just going to continue reading." said Remus.

** It was not, as the Dursleys had pretended for ten years, a souvenir of the car crash that had killed Harry's parents, because _Lily and James Potter_ had not died in a car crash. They had been murdered,  
murdered by the most feared Dark wizard for a hundred years, Lord Voldemort. **

"WHAT?" yelled Lily and James together. "Let me see that!" yelled Lily snatching the book out of Remus's hands. James ran up onto the bed and sat down next to her. Both looking at the book. Once Lily read it she threw it across the room and began to cry.

"Sh, babe it's just a book. Who knows if it is true?" said James cuddling her in his arms. Sirius tip-toed over to the book and gave it back to Remus. James nodded and Remus began to read on.

** Harry had escaped from the same attack with nothing more than a scar on his forehead, where Voldemort's curse, instead of killing him, had rebounded upon its originator. Barely alive, Voldemort had fled. But Harry had come face-to-face with him at Hogwarts. Remembering their last meeting as he stood at the dark window, Harry had to admit he was lucky even to have reached his thirteenth birthday.  
"You have one talented son Prongs." whispered Remus barely loud enough for James and Sirius to here over Lily's sobs. "It could have been a lot worse Lily, Harry could have died." pointed out Sirius. She thought on this for a moment and decided he was right. "Go on." she said wiping her eyeson James shirt.**

** He scanned the starry sky for a sign of Hedwig, perhaps soaring back to him with a dead mouse dangling from her beak, expecting praise. Gazing absently over the rooftops, it was a few seconds before Harry realized what he was seeing.**

** Silhouetted against the golden moon, and growing larger every moment, was a large, strangely lopsided creature, and it was flapping in Harry's direction. He stood quite still, watching it sink lower and lower. For a split second he hesitated, his hand on the window latch, wondering whether to slam it shut. But the bizarre creature soared over one of the street lamps of Privet Drive, and Harry, realizing what it was, leapt aside.  
** "Its not like they will bite Harry!" yelled Sirius at the book. "Hey wait where am I?" said Sirius now knowing that he had not been mentioned in the book. "And where am I?" said Remus scratching his head. "Maybe you two died also." said James. Sirius frowned at the thought at this as did Remus. "Well, whatever then." said Sirius.

** Through the window soared three owls, two of them holding up the third, which appeared to be unconscious.  
They landed with a soft flump on Harry's bed, and the middle owl, which was large and gray, keeled right over and lay motionless. There was a large package tied to its legs. Harry recognized the unconscious owl at once - his name was Errol, and he belonged to the Weasley family. **

** Harry dashed to the bed, untied the cords around Errol's legs, took off the parcel, and then carried Errol to Hedwig's cage. Errol opened on bleary eye, gave a feeble hoot of thanks, and began to gulp some water. Harry didn't recognize the third owl, a handsome tawny one, but he knew at once where it had come from, because in addition to a third package, it was carrying a letter bearing the Hogwarts crest. **

** When Harry relieved this owl of its burden, it ruffled its feathers importantly, stretched its wings, and took off through the window into the night. Harry sat down on his bed and grabbed Errol's package, ripped of the brown paper, and discovered a present wrapped in gold, and his first ever birthday card.  
**

"Aw, our son never receives birthday cards?" said Lily gulping. "I guess not." replied James looking at the floor. "I'll get him a present if I'm still alive!" said Sirius smiling.

** Fingers trembling slightly, he opened the envelope. Two pieces of paper fell out - a letter and a newspaper clipping.The clipping had clearly come out of the wizarding newspaper, the Daily Prophet, because the people in the black-and-white picture were moving. Harry picked up the clipping, smoothed it out, and read: **

**_"Ministry of Magic Employee Scoops Grand Prize"_**

**_Arthur Weasley, Head of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office at the Ministry of Magic, has one the annual Daily Prophet Grand Prize Galleon Draw._**

**_ A delighted Mr. Weasley told the Daily Prophet, ''We will be spending the gold on a summer holiday in Egypt, where our eldest son, Bill, works as a curse breaker for Gringotts Wizarding Bank.''  
The Weasley family will be spending a month in Egypt, returning for the start of the new school year at Hogwarts, which five of the Weasley children currently attend.  
_ Harry scanned the moving photograph, and a grin spread across his face as he saw all nine of the Weasleys waving furiously at him., standing in front of a large pyramid. Plump little Mrs. Weasley; tall, balding Mr. Weasley; six sons; and one daughter; all (though the black-and-white picture didn't show it) with flaming-red hair.**

** Right in the middle of the picture was Ron, tall and gangling, with his pet rat, Scabbers, on his shoulder and his arm around his little sister, Ginny. Harry couldn't think of anyone who deserved to win a large pile of gold more than the Weasleys, who were very nice and extremely poor. He picked up Ron's letter and unfolded it.  
_Dear Harry,  
Happy Birthday! Look, I'm really sorry about that telephone call. I hope the Muggles didn't give you a hard time. I asked Dad, and he reckons I shouldn't have shouted.  
It's amazing here in Egypt. Bill's taken us around all the tombs and you wouldn't believe the curses those old Egyptian wizards put on them. Mum wouldn't let Ginny come into the last one. There were all these mutant skeletons in there, of Muggles who'd broken in and grown extra heads and stuff.  
I couldn't believe it when Dad won the Daily Prophet draw. Seven hundred galleons! Most of it's gone on this trop, bit they're going to buy me a new wand for next year.  
Harry remembered only too well the occasion when Ron's old wand had snapped. It had happened when the car the two of them had been flying to Hogwarts had crashed into a tree on the school grounds. We'll be back almost about a week before term starts and we'll be going up to London to get my wand and our new books. Any chance of meeting you there?  
Don't let the Muggles get you down!  
Ron  
P.S. Percy's Head Boy. He got the letter last week_**

"Poor Ron has to put up with those git head boys!" said Sirius with a smile across his face. "Hey!" said James. "I'm head boy!" yelled James at Sirius. "Yeah a really bad one may I add." said Lily smiling through her tears. "Whatever." retorted James.

** Harry glanced back at the photograph. Percy, who was in his seventh and final year at Hogwarts, was looking particularly smug. He had pinned his Head Boy badge to the fez perched jauntily on top of his neat hair, his horn-rimmed glasses flashing in the Egyptian sun. Harry now turned to his present and unwrapped it. Inside was what looked like a miniature glass spinning top.  
-**

**_Harry –– this is a Pocket Sneakoscope. If there's someone untrustworthy around, it''s supposed to light up and spin. Bill says it's rubbish sold for wizard tourists and isn't reliable. But he didn't realize Fred and George had put beetles in his soup.  
Bye -  
Ron_**

"Those actually may come in handy." said Remus looking up from the book. "Why don't we own one?" said Sirius. "Oh I do but it is at home I will bring here when I get back from Christmas holidays." said James while ruffling up his hair.

** Harry put the Pocket Sneakoscope on his bedside table, where it stood quite still, balanced on its point, reflecting the luminous hands of his clock. He looked at it happily for a few seconds, then picked up the parcel Hedwig had brought.  
Inside this, too, there was a wrapped present, a card, and a letter, this time from ****Hermione.  
**

**_Dear Harry,  
Ron wrote to me and told me about his phone call to your Uncle Vernon. I do hope you're all right.  
I'm on holiday in France at the moment and I didn't know how I was going to send this to you –– what if they'd opened it at customs? –– but then Hedwig turned up! I think she wanted to make sure you got something for your birthday for a change. _**

**_I bought your present by owl-order; there was an advertisement in the Daily Prophet (I've been getting it delivered; it's so good to keep up with what's going on in the wizarding world). Did you see that picture of Ron and his family a week ago? I bet he's learning loads. I'm really jealous –– the ancient Egyptian wizards were fascinating.  
There's some interesting local history of witchcraft here, too. I've rewritten my whole History of Magic essay to include some of the things I've found out. I hope it's not too long –– it's two rolls of parchment more than Professor Binns asked for. _**

"Sorry for interrupting and everything but whoa two rolls more? That is even more than what Lily writes. This girl has lost her knickers." said James. "Hey!" said Lily "At least I'm passing with better grades than you!" she said flipping her hair.  
_**Ron says he's going to be in London in the last week of the holidays. Can you make it? Will your aunt and uncle let you come? If not, I'll see you on the Hogwarts Express on September first!  
Love from,  
Hermione.  
P.S. Ron says Percy's Head Boy. I'll bet Percy's really pleased. Ron doesn't seem too happy about it.  
**_ "Who would be?" said Sirius. "I don't know maybe someone who worked hard for it." said Remus. "Yeah okay." said Sirius looking longingly out the window. "Why don't we go read outside by the lake?" said Sirius.

"Alright, it is quite a lovely day, and I already finished my Transfurgation essay for McGonagall." said Lily standing up and yawning. Lily walked up and cuddled in James's arms while they walked down the stairs and into the Gryffindor common room.

"Where's Wormtail?" Sirius whispered to Remus. "I don't know. Has Prongs seen him this morning?" said Remus. "No, he hasn't." said Sirius looking a little bit concerned.

They walked down to the front door and walked outside. Once outside they were met with a friendly breeze and gladly accepted it. They sat down about fifteen feet away from the lake.

"Shall I con-" "Hey Sirius!" said a girl with long blonde hair and green eyes. "Hey babe." said Sirius as he winked at her. She giggled with a group of Hufflepuff girls and kept walking. Lily gave him a look of disgust. "I know I'm such a ladies man." said Sirius smiling. Lily snorted at the thought of him thinking this.

** Harry laughed as he put Hermione's letter aside and picked up her present. It was heavy. Knowing Hermione, he was sure it would be a large book full of complicated spells——but it wasn't. His heart gave a huge bound as he ripped back the paper and saw a sleek black leather case, with silver words stamped across it, reading Broomstick Servicing Kit.  
"**The girl has taste, he better not let go of that one. They obviously date." said Sirius. "Hey Lily signs her letters love." said Remus. "Oh yeah." said Sirius. James reached over and smacked his head.

"**Wow, Hermione!" Harry whispered, unzipping the case to look inside. There was a large jar of Fleetwood's High-Finish Handle Polish, a pair of gleaming silver Tail-Twig Clippers, a tiny brass compass to clip on your broom for long journeys, and a Handbook of Do-It-Yourself Broomcare.**

** Apart from his friends, the thing that Harry missed about Hogwarts was Quidditch, the most popular sport in the magical world——highly dangerous, very exciting, and played on broomsticks. Harry happened to be a very good Quidditch player;  
he had been the youngest person in a century to be picked for one of the Hogwarts House teams. **

"Wow sounds like your son takes after you James." said Sirius. James was quite upset that his son was practically better at him than everything. Quidditch, Ladies, and he survived an attack from Voldemort, thought James to himself.

** One of Harry's most prized possessions was his Nimbus Two Thousand racing broom.Harry put the leather case aside and picked up his last parcel. He recognized the untidy scrawl on the brown paper at once: this was from Hagrid,**

"Hagrid!" yelled Sirius and James at once. "At least he still has Hagrid." said Lily feeling a little bit more at ease. "Hurray!" said Sirius still happy.

**the Hogwarts gamekeeper. He tore off the top layer of paper and glimpsed something green and leathery, but before he could unwrap it properly, The parcel gave a strange quiver, and whatever was inside it snapped loudly——as though it had jaws.  
**

"Now is it any surprise that Hagrid is giving him something with jaws?" said Remus pausing from the book. "No not really." said Lily.

** Hagrid didn't have a normal person's view of what was dangerous. Hagrid had been known to befriend giant spiders, buy vicious, three-headed dogs from men in pubs, and sneak illegal dragons into his cabin. Harry poked the parcel nervously. It snapped loudly again. **

"Is he trying to kill our only son?!" yelled James. "Calm down, I'm sure it's nothing to dangerous." said Lily. "Whatever when are son only has one arm later on, I am blaming you." said James.

** Harry reached for the lamp on his bedside table, gripped it firmly in one hand, and raised it over his head, ready to strike. Then he seized Harry froze. He knew that Hagrid would never send him anything dangerous on purpose, but then, the rest of the wrapping paper in his other hand and pulled.**

** And out fell——a book. Harry just had time to register its handsome green cover, emblazoned with the golden title The Monster Book of Monsters,**

"See what did I tell you?" said Lily. "It's just a book." said Remus. "Yes, well er it's a rather dangerous book!" said James trying to come up with an excuse. "Oh whatever." said James then he messed up his hair and laid back into the grass.

**Before it flipped onto its edge and scuttled sideways along the bed like some weird crab.  
"Uh-oh," Harry muttered. **

**The book toppled off the bed with a loud clunk and shuffled rapidly across the room. Harry followed it stealthily. The book was hiding in the dark space under his desk. Praying that the Dursleys were still fast asleep, Harry got down on his hands and knees and reached toward it."Ouch!"**

"See what did I tell you!" said James jumping up and down. "I was right!" "And you say I act like a five year old?" said Sirius with a-matter-of-fact tone. "Just go on." said Lily trying to block the two out of her ears.  
** This book snapped shut on his hand and then flapped past him, still scuttling on its covers. Harry scrambled around, threw himself forward, and managed to flatten it. Uncle Vernon gave a loud, sleepy grunt in the room next door.**

"Watch out for the muggles Harry!" yelled Sirius. "Sometimes I have no clue why I associate with you two." said Remus shaking his head. "Because you love us moony!" said Sirius hopping on his lap and giving him a big hug. "Yeah okay just get off!" said Remus. "Okay.."

** Hedwig and Errol watched interested, as Harry clamped the struggling book tightly in his arms, hurried to his chest of drawers, and pulled out a belt, which he buckled tightly around it. The Monster Book shuddered angrily, but could no longer flap and snap, so Harry threw it down on the bed and reached for Hagrid's card.  
_Dear Harry,  
Happy Birthday!  
Think you might find this useful for next year_ **

"Oh yeah thanks Hagrid a biting book will come in useful for him!" said James. "Maybe we should go pay him a visit for biting my son's hand off!" said James now getting up. "Oh sit down! For one we don't even know if this is really the future and two it didn't bite his hand off! Your just paranoid!" said Lily pulling on his arm. He sat back down reluctantly.

**_Won't say no more here. Tell you when I see you.  
Hope the Muggles are treating you right.  
All the best,  
Hagrid.  
_ It struck Harry. As ominous that Hagrid thought that a biting book would come in useful, but he put Hagrid's card up next to Ron's and Hermione's, grinning more broadly then ever. Now there was only the letter from Hogwarts left.  
Noticing that it was rather thicker than usual, Harry slit open the envelope, pulled out the first page of parchment within, and read:  
_Dear Mr. Potter,  
Please note that the new school year will begin on September the first. The Hogwarts Express will leave from King's Cross station, platform nine and three-quarters, at eleven o'clock.  
Third years are permitted to visit the village of Hogsmeade on certain weekends. _**

**_Please give the enclosed permission form to your parent or guardian to sign.  
A list of books for next year is enclosed.  
Yours sincerely,  
Professor M. McGonagall  
Deputy Headmistress'_**

"Aw Harry can't go to Hogsmeade." said Lily biting her nails. "Stop that it ruins your nail bed." Sirius told her. Everyone looked up at Sirius and gave him a confused sort of pathetic look. "Mum told me that when I was little, I'm no nut or nothing." said Sirius smiling.  
** Harry pulled out the Hogsmeade permission form and looked at it, no longer grinning. It would be wonderful to visit Hogsmeade on weekends; he knew it was an entirely wizarding village, and he had never set foot there. But how on earth was he going to persuade Uncle Vernon or Aunt Petunia to sign the form?**

"Just threaten 'em Harry!" said Sirius. "No, he can't do that!" said Lily. "She has a point you know? He would be expelled." said Remus. "Well whatever. He will find a way." said Sirius.  
** He looked over at the alarm clock. It was now two o'clock in the morning.  
Deciding that he'd worry about the Hogsmeade form when he woke up. Harry got back into bed and reached up to cross off another day on the chart he'd made for himself, counting down the days left until his return to Hogwarts. Then he took off his glasses and lay down, eyes open, facing his three birthday cards.**

** Extremely unusual though he was, at that moment Harry Potter felt just like everyone else——glad, for the first time in his life, that it was his birthday.**

"That is sad!" said Lily. "Our son is never happy on his birthday?" said James questioningly. "Guess not mate." said Sirius patting him on the back. "We sure will miss you though." said Sirius. "Me too." said Remus.


	2. Aunt Marge's Big Mistake

**Disclaimer: I don not own the characters or anything practically, well you get the drift... :)**

**A/N: Thanks for my wonderful reviews I'd like to thank shinebright-starlight, Someone Special, Hikari no Namida, Boboky, hermoine21. Thank you for the fabulous reviews! ( 3)**

"Well glad were done with chapter one eh moony?" Sirius asked Remus. "Yes quite interesting." said Remus scratching his head. "Yeah , can we read chapter two? Please?" said Sirius with his puppy eyes.

Sirius had yet to realize that puppy eyes did not work on fellow males but tried anyways. "Do I have to?" Remus groaned as he said this. "Yes!" said Sirius jumping up and down. "Okay, here we go..."

**Harry went down to breakfast the next morning to find the three Dursleys already sitting around the kitchen table. They were watching a brand-new television, a welcome-home-for-the-summer present for Dudley,**

"Now that's a git for you." said James stroking Lily's long red hair. "James would you stop that it's itchy to my scalp." said Lily trying to smile at him. "Okay babe." said James smiling. "Aw, how sick do they look together?" said Sirius. "Oh shut up!" said James. "Ow, that hurt." said Sirius, then he pulled his little puppy eyes on James. "Stop that!" said James.

**who had been complaining loudly about the long walk between the fridge and the television set in the living room.**

"More of a brat than we had thought!" said Remus. "They boy makes me sick!" said James. "The sad thing is we only just started reading about him." said Sirius. "I always knew my sister's children would turn out deranged just like her." said Lily.

**Dudley had spent most of the summer in the kitchen, his piggy little eyes fixed on the screen and his five chins wobbling as he ate continually.**

"I need a bucket." said James. "Why?" asked Lily perplexed. "So I can throw up."' said James smiling. "Five chins!? Holy shit what does he eat?" said Sirius. Sirius ran his fingers continually over his chin as afraid to have more than one.

**Harry sat down between Dudley and Uncle Vernon, a large, beefy man with very little neck and a lot of mustache.**

"No surprise where Dudley gets it from then." said James pretending to puke. "Eh I hate hereditary genes!" said Sirius. "Well you hate your whole family Sirius." stated Remus with a I-want-to-finish-this-chapter-before-Easter look.

**Far from wishing Harry a happy birthday, none of the Dursleys made any sign that they had noticed Harry enter the room, but Harry was far too used to this care.**

"Happy birthday Harry!" said Sirius. Lily opened her mouth to say something but Remus just shook his head and mouthed "Don't." Remus flipped the page and began to read again.

**He helped himself to a piece of toast and then looked up at the reporter on the television, who was halfway through a report on an escaped convict.**

"Hmm escaped convict bet it's you Sirius always up to trouble." said Lily giving his a smug sneer. "No!" said Remus obviously reading ahead. "Maybe , No hey Sirius run up to the castle and fetch me my cloak I'm quite cold." Remus said trying to lie. It was quite warm outside and not nearly cold.

"No keep reading!" said Sirius catching on. "Are you sure?" said Remus looking up at Sirius. "It can't get much worse, or can it? James and Lily are already dead and Harry lives with those bloody muggles. What could get worse?" asked Sirius.

**"……The public is warned that Black is armed and extremely dangerous. A special hot line has been set up, and any sighting of Black should be reported immediately."**

"Shit! Wait, er, wait, well it didn't say Sirius. It could havebeen my mum. She probably killed me! She hates me enough to do it!"said Sirius pacing back and forth now. "I wonder whom you killed."said James looking up at his long time friend. "No clue mate, no clue." said Sirius.

"Why don't we skip over a few chapters or just skim read?" suggested Lily. "What Lily Evans suggesting to skim or skip parts of a book." said Sirius shaking his head with a look of disappointment. "Well." She said. "Good idea!" said Sirius. "Well, lets finish a few chapters and then **MAYBE** we will skim." said Remus looking doubtfully.

**"No need to tell us he's no good," snorted Uncle Vernon, staring over the top of his newspaper at the prisoner. "Look at the state of him, the filthy layabout! Look at his hair!"**

"Hey there is absolutely nothing wrong with my hair, you nasty little-, wait no, humongous, good for nothing, git!" Yelled Sirius. "Don't worry Sirius, I think your hair is quite lovely." Lily told him. "Thank you." said Sirius. "Anyways." said Remus smiling.

**He shot a nasty look sideways at Harry, whose untidy hair had always been a source of great annoyance to Uncle Vernon. Compared to the man on the television, however, whose gaunt face was surrounded by a matted elbow-length tangle, Harry felt very well groomed indeed.**

"Well, at least someone is getting something good out of this!" complained Sirius. "Well no, he has the famous Potter hair! That is surely nothing good." said James. "True that." said Remus

**The reporter had reappeared. "The Ministry of Agriculture and Fisheries will announce today-" "Hang on!" barked Uncle Vernon, staring furiously at the reporter. "You didn't tell us where that maniac's escaped from! What use is that? Lunatic could be coming up the street right now!"**

"Well I sure as hell wouldn't waste my time, as an escaped convict to come and hunt you down randomly!" yelled Sirius again. "Should we ask Madam Pomfurrey to put him on medication?" asked Lily smiling. "No, he's not even that bad yet." saidJames smiling.

**Aunt Petunia, who was bony and horse-faced, whipped around and peered intently out of the kitchen window.**

"First of all good description of her, second blimey Petunia nobody wants to go after you and your little Duddikins!" said Lily feeling relieved. "True, true, well I may want to eat Dudley just to see her face, but that's all." said Sirius smirking. "Oh shut up!" said Lily.

**Harry knew Aunt Petunia would simply love to be the one to call the hot line number. She was the nosiest woman in the world and spent most of her life spying on the boring, law-abiding neighbors.**

"That would be her!" said Lily.

**"When will they learn," said Uncle Vernon, pounding the table with his large purple fist, "that hanging's the only way to deal with these people?"**

"So not true! What if we are really innocent or framed?" said Sirius.

**"Very true," said Aunt Petunia, who was still squinting into next door's runner beans.**

"Oh suck a duck Petunia." said Lily. "Treating my, oh well my son's godfather that way!" she stated. "Glad you agreed with James on that." said Sirius. In the background you could see James and Remus shaking their heads.

**Uncle Vernon drained his teacup, glanced at his watch, and added, "I'd better be off in a minute, Petunia. Marge's train gets in at ten." Harry, whose thoughts had been upstairs with the Broomstick Servicing Kit, was brought back to earth with an unpleasant bump. "Aunt Marge?" he blurted out. "Sh- she's not coming here, is she?"**

"She can't be any worse than the Dursleys!" said Sirius.

**Aunt Marge was Uncle Vernon's sister. Even though she was not a blood relative of Harry's (whose mother had been Aunt Petunia's sister), he had been forced to call her "Aunt" all his life. **

**Aunt Marge lived in the country, in a house with a large garden, where she bred bulldogs. She didn't often stay at Privet Drive, because she couldn't bear to leave her precious dogs, but each of her visits stood out horribly vividly in Harry's mind.**

"See she breeds dogs! Told you she wasn't that bad!" said Sirius smiling. Who then quickly realized he was wrong.

**At Dudley's fifth birthday party, Aunt Marge had whacked Harry around the shins with her walking stick to stop him from beating Dudley at musical statues.**

"How dare she keep a Potter from winning what was rightfully his!" said James now curling his fists up in balls. "Don't worry we will hex her if we ever meet her." said Lilly patting his hands.

**A few years later, she had turned up a Christmas with a computerized robot for Dudley and a box of dog biscuits for Harry.**

"Well dog biscuits aren't that bad!" said Sirius. "I find them rather crunchy." He said. "And I don't want to know how you know that." said Lily. The three marauders grinned at one another for they knew exactly why.

**On her last visit, the year before Harry started Hogwarts, Harry had accidentally trodden over the tail of her favorite dog. Ripper had chased Harry out into the garden and up a tree, and Aunt Marge had refused to call him off until past midnight. The memory of this incident still brought tears of laughter to Dudley's eyes.**

"Well at least our son isn't a walking pumpkin!" said James. "I find her to be quite amusing in a stupid type of way." said Remus looking up from the book.

**"Marge'll be here for a week," Uncle Vernon snarled, "and while we're on the subject" –– he pointed a fat finger threateningly at Harry- "we need to get a few things straight before I go and collect her."**

"He acts like she is some kind of prize or something!" said James. "Collect her?" said Remus. "Um, okay." he said.

**Dudley smirked and withdrew his gaze from the television. Watching Harry being bullied by Uncle Vernon was Dudley's favorite form of entertainment.**

"Go back to feeding your five chins. You pig!" yelled Lily.

**"Firstly," growled Uncle Vernon, "you'll keep a civil tongue in your head when you're talking to Marge."**

"Only if she does when she is talking to him!" said Sirius.

**"All right," said Harry bitterly, "if she does when she's talking to me."**

"Hah, he is a true marauder, I tell you." said Sirius smiling.

**"Secondly," said Uncle Vernon, acting as though he had not heard Harry's reply, "as Marge doesn't know anything about your abnormality, I don't want any- any funny stuff while she's here. You behave yourself, got me?"**

"He will if she keep's her nose out of his business." said Lily.

**"I will if she does," said Harry through gritted teeth."**

"Well somewhat close." said Lily half-smiling.

"**And thirdly," said Uncle Vernon, his mean little eyes now slits in his great purple face. "We've told Marge you attend St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys."**

"What?" yelled Remus and James at the same time. "You've got to be kidding me." said James shaking his head. "No family member of mine would attend a school of such sort." said James. "Well we don't have control over this, do we?" said Remus.

**"What?" Harry yelled."**

"Ah see he is a marauder! Takes after us. Sure me and Remus taught him everything." said Sirius smiling.

**"And you'll be sticking to that story, boy, or they'll be trouble," spat Uncle Vernon. Harry sat there, white-faced and furious, staring at Uncle Vernon, hardly able to believe it. Aunt Marge coming for a week long visit- it was the worst birthday present the Dursley's had ever given him, including that pair of Uncle Vernon's old socks."**

"Ew, I really hope he didn't wear those!" said Lily with a look of disgust. "Me too." said James. "Me three!" said Sirius. "Shut up!" said Lily and James together.

**"Well, Petunia," said Uncle Vernon, getting heavily to his feet, "I'll be off to the station, then. Want to come along for the ride, Dudders?" "No," said Dudley, whose attention had returned to the television now that Uncle Vernon had finished threatening Harry.**

"Spoiled little arrogant brat." said Lily under her breathe. "What?" said James. "Oh nothing saying how cute of a name Dudders is." said Lily sarcastically. "Yeah right, and I'm serious." said Sirius. "Well in a way you are." said Remus. "You understood that?" asked James. "Somehow I did." said Remus smiling.

**"Duddy's got to make himself smart for his auntie," said Aunt Petunia, smoothing Dudley's thick blonde hair. "Mummy's bought him a lovely new bow tie."**

"That must be hard, you know. Trying to make Duddy smart in all. I'm sure it takes years or even centuries." said Sirius. "Ha, like a bow tie would help him look smart?" said James laughing. "One stupid sister you got." Sirius said to Lily.

**Uncle Vernon clapped Dudley on his porky shoulder.**

"Hah, porky!" said Lily. "I love that cartoon! " She said smiling. "Yeah, uh me too." said James while ruffling up his hair.

**"See you in a bit, then," he said, and he left the kitchen.** **Harry, who had been sitting in a kind of horrified trance, had a sudden idea. Abandoning his toast, he got quickly to his feet and followed Uncle Vernon to the front door.** **Uncle Vernon was pulling on his car coat.**

"What is a car?" asked Sirius. "Ugh!" said Remus and Lily together.

**"I'm not taking you," he snarled as he turned to see Harry watching him.**

"Did he say he wanted to go with you? Um, NO!" said Lily.

**"Like I wanted to come," said Harry coldly. "I want to ask you something." Uncle Vernon eyed him suspiciously. "Third years at Hog- at my school**

"Oh just say Hogwarts!" said James. "It's not like it's even Voldemort which is just as bad not saying." said Sirius

**are allowed to visit the village sometimes," said Harry. "So?" snapped Uncle Vernon, taking his car keys from a hook next to the door.**

"Don't you talk to my son like that." said James standing up. "Oh sit back down you piece of lump!" said Sirius pulling on his arm.

**"I need you to sign the permission form," said Harry in a rush. "And why should I do that?" sneered Uncle Vernon. "Well," said Harry, choosing his words carefully, "it'll be hard work, pretending to Aunt Marge I got to that St. Whatsits-"**

"Oh, good idea Harry." said Remus with a tone of pride. "Smart man you got." said Sirius to Lily. "Why thank you!" she said now blushing.

**"St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys!" bellowed Uncle Vernon, and Harry was pleased to hear a definite of panic in Uncle Vernon's voice. "Exactly," said Harry, looking calmly into Uncle Vernon's large, purple face.**

"Hah, he's purple!" said Sirius laughing. "It's an expression." said Remus. "Oh just kidding then." said Sirius quickly staring down to his feet.

**"It's a lot to remember. I'll have to make it sound convincing, won't I? What if I accidentally let something slip?" "You'll get the stuffing knocked out of you, won't you?" roared Uncle Vernon, advancing on Harry with his fist raised.**

"Now that is just wrong! If I ever meet him I swear I'll hex him to kingdom-come." said Lily outraged. "Now, you can't do it unless I am there with you." said James ruffling his hair up a bit.

**"But Harry stood his ground." "Knocking the stuffing out of me won't make Aunt Marge forget what I could tell her," he said grimly.**

"Hah! Harry won! Woo-hoo! That shows who is the better negotiator Dursley!" said Sirius doing a little dance. "Oh my." said Lily shaking her head.

**Uncle Vernon stopped, his fist still raised, his face an ugly puce. "But if you sign my permission form," Harry went on quickly, "I swear I'll remember where I'm supposed to go to school, and I'll act like a Mug- like I'm normal and everything." Harry could tell that Uncle Vernon was thinking it over, even if his teeth were bared and a vein was throbbing in his temple.**

"Ew, I did not need to know that." said Lily wishing she could erase that. "Yeah, I agree." said Remus looking up from the book.

**"Right," he snapped finally. "I shall monitor your behavior carefully during Marge's visit. If, at the end of it, you've toed the line and kept to the story, I'll sign your ruddy form." He wheeled around, pulled open the front door, and slammed it so hard that one of the little panes of glass fell out.**

"Good job Dursley!" said Sirius.

**Harry didn't return to the kitchen. He went back upstairs to his bedroom. If he was going to act like a real Muggle, he'd better start now. Slowly and sadly he gathered up all his presents and his birthday cards and hid them under the loose floorboard with his homework. Then he went to Hedwig's cage. Errol seemed to have recovered; he and Hedwig were both asleep, heads under their wings. Harry sighed, then poked them both awake.**

"I do hope Harry get's his form signed." said Remus sighing. "That would be quite nice." said James.

**"Hedwig," he said gloomily, "you're going to have to clear off for a week. Go with Errol. Ron'll look after you. I'll write him a note, explaining. And don't look at me like that" ––Hedwig's large amber eyes were reproachful- "it's not my fault. It's the only way I'll be allowed to visit Hogsmeade with Ron and Hermione."**

**Ten minutes later, Errol and Hedwig (who had a note to Ron bound to her leg) soared out of the window and out of sight. Harry, now feeling thoroughly miserable, put the empty cage away inside the wardrobe."**

"Aw, now he doesn't have his owl either!" said Sirius wiping away a fake tear. "Shut up!" same Lily while throwing a pebble at his head. "Hey that hurt!" said Sirius complaining. "It was supposed to." said Lily smirking.

**"But Harry didn't have long to brood. In next to no time, Aunt Petunia was shrieking up the stairs for Harry to come down and get ready to welcome their guest. "Do something about your hair!" Aunt Petunia snapped as he reached the hall.**

"It's not like he can actually do something! Don't you think he's tried?" said James ruffling up his own hair as he said this.

**Harry couldn't see the point of trying to make his hair lie flat. Aunt Marge loved criticizing him, so the untidier he looked, the happier she would be.**

"That's the way to think Harry!" said Sirius smiling. "Yeah make her even madder, way to go!" said James smiling.

**All too soon, there was a crunch of gravel outside as Uncle Vernon's car pulled back into the driveway, then the clunk of the car doors and footsteps on the garden path."Get the door!" Aunt Petunia hissed at Harry.**

"Don't you give orders to Harry, you, you bitch!" said Lily with a sense of relief. "Oh no, did I just swear?" said Lily with a horrified look. "My lady I believe you did." said Sirius grinning. "Lily Potter I never want to hear those words out of your mouth again!" said James jokingly.

"Hey I'm not your wife yet, mister!" said Lily hitting him in the head playfully. She resumed to her spot laying her head in James lap, while Remus's soft voice began to read again.

**A feeling of great gloom in his stomach, Harry pulled the door open.**

**On the threshold stood Aunt Marge. She was very like Uncle Vernon: large, beefy, and purple faced, she even had a mustache, though not as bushy as his. In one hand she held an enormous suitcase, and tucked under the other was an old and evil-tempered bulldog.**

"Aw, I'm sure it's the cutest pooch!" said Sirius smiling. "What is up with you and dogs?" Lily asked Sirius. "Oh, nothing they just fascinate me." said Sirius lying. "Yes, he has always been that way since birth, weird fascinations and such." said James.

"Sometimes in his sleep, he will wake up in need of a cold shower after dreaming of cute little pups." said James grinning widely. "You liar!" said Sirius attacking James. Sirius was on top of James slapping him. They were play fighting and it was obvious to Lily and Remus, but to others it was a fight.

They soon had a crowd gathered around them, so being the two cocky boys that they are they decided to exaggerate. "How dare you tell people about them time I tried to shave my legs!" screamed Sirius trying to contain his laughter. A bunch of people from the audience began to laugh.

"Well you shouldn't tell everyone about me failing flying class in first year!" said James loudly. A few caught on at once and knew it was an act, but didn't say anything. Everyone knew that James was naturally an excellent flyer.

"You little– Nah just kidding! How can I be mad at you mate if I die?" said James yelling. "I thought you were serious for a while." said Sirius grinning. "What do you mean, your going to die?" asked a short little brunette named Alexandria.

"Well you see we found this book, and we think it's Potter's future. We read how he dies and so forth you want to listen?" Sirius asked her while he obviously worked his charm. "Yeah, that sounds interesting. Can the rest of Ravenclaw listen?" she asked batting her eyelashes at Sirius.

"Sure." said Sirius grinning at her. Sirius and James made their way back to Lily and Remus who were shaking their heads at them. "You two are so immature." she said as they sat down. "Thank you." Sirius replied. "We are going to have a few Ravenclaw friends join us." James said looking at Lily.

"Fine but they better hurry." said Lily. "No need." said Alexandria smiling. Alexandria, Sandy Brocklehurst, Samantha Abbot, and Erin Bones took a seat next to the marauders and Lily. "Where is that little pudgy boy that normally follows you around?" asked Sandy. "No clue." said Remus looking up and smiling at her.

The marauders begin to explain what has happened since the beginning and are shocked that Lily and James actually got married and that their son defeated Voldemort. They were also appalled at the way the Dursleys treated Harry and that Sirius was wanted for murder. "Well now that we are finished explaining should I continue?" Remus asked the group. "Yes." was found from every person sitting in the group. "Okay here it goes..."

**"Where's my Dudders?" roared Aunt Marge. "Where's my neffypoo?"**

"Neffypoo?" said Sirius. "Ha, neffypoo." said Sirius and James laughing together. "Go on." said Lily annoyed.

**Dudley came waddling down the hall, his blond hair plastered flat to his fat head, a bow tie just visible under his many chins.**

"His five chins to be exact!" said Sirius. "Ew!" said Erin and Samantha at once.

**Aunt Marge thrust the suitcase into Harry's stomach, knocking the wind out of him, seized Dudley in a tight one-armed hug, and planted a large kiss on his cheek. Harry knew perfectly well that Dudley only put up with Aunt Marge's hugs because he was well paid for it, and sure enough, when they broke apart, Dudley had a crisp twenty-pound note clutched in his fat fist.**

"That is no fair that my son puts up with her for free, when that arrogant prick is paid!" bellowed Lily from James's lap. "Your right." said Alexandria patting her hand with sympathy.

**"Petunia!" shouted Aunt Marge, striding past Harry as though he was a hat stand. Aunt Marge and Aunt Petunia kissed, or rather, Aunt Marge bumped her large jaw against Aunt Petunia's bony cheekbone.**

"Ew, I hope I never have to kiss a elephant!" said Sirius rubbing his mouth. "As long as I'm around you won't have to." Alexandria whispered to him. Sirius grinned as he looked at James with a thumbs up sign.

**Uncle Vernon now came in, smiling jovially as he shut the door. "Tea, Marge?" he said. "And what will Ripper take?" "Ripper can have some tea out of my saucer," **

"Okay, now that is just nasty! Admit it Sirius!" said Lily looking at him. "Well there is only once exception for that, and I don't need to explain because dear old James, and Remus know, and that's enough for me." said Sirius swaying his nose up into the air as if he was some rich snob.

**said Aunt Marge as they all proceeded into the kitchen, leaving Harry alone in the hall with the suitcase."**

**But Harry wasn't complaining; any excuse not to be with Aunt Marge was fine by him, so he began to heave the case upstairs into the spare bedroom, taking as long as he could.**

**By the time he got back to the kitchen, Aunt Marge had been supplied with tea and fruitcake, and Ripper was lapping noisily in the corner. Harry saw Aunt Petunia wince slightly as specks of tea and drool flecked her clean floor. Aunt Petunia hated animals.**

"Aw, your sister is heartless." stated Sirius. He then put on his puppy eyes which he was excellent at doing. "I never said she wasn't." said Lily.

**"Who's looking after the other dogs, Marge?" Uncle Vernon asked. "Oh, I've got Colonel Fubster managing them," boomed Aunt Marge. "He's retired now, good for him to have something to do. But I couldn't leave poor old Ripper. He pines if he's away from me." Ripper began to growl again as Harry sat down. This directed Aunt Marge's attention to Harry for the first time.**

**"So!" she barked. "Still here, are you?"**

"No he is just standing in front of you but yet he is on Pluto." said Alexandria getting fed up with Aunt Marge's antics also. "My point exactly!" said Lily smiling.

**"Yes." said Harry."Don't you say 'yes' in that ungrateful tone," Aunt Marge growled.**

"He will say it however he wants to!" said Sandy and Erin. "Bloody, if he wants to say you're a stupid bitch he can! Sorry for my language ladies." Sirius said. "I wish she'd die and go to some place far, far away." said Remus looking up from the book. "Me too." said James.

**"It's damn good of Vernon and Petunia to keep you. Wouldn't have done it myself. You'd have gone straight to an orphanage if you'd been dumped on my doorstep."**

"Harry rather be at an orphanage than living with the Dursley's!" yelled James. A murmur of agreements came from the group.

**Harry was bursting to say that he'd rather live in an orphanage than with the Dursleys, but the thought of the Hogsmeade form stopped him.**

"Like father like son." said Samantha to James. "Proud to have son who thinks like me. Hope he has my charm too." he said while playing with Lily's nose.

**He forced his face into a painful smile.**

"Now Harry you'll get wrinkles doing that!" said Sirius concerned. Remus stopped and looked up from the book for a minute. Out of no where Remus hit him with it. "What was that for?" asked Sirius. "For being to feminine!" said Remus as he started to read.

**"Don't you smirk at me!" boomed Aunt Marge. "I can see you haven't improved since I last saw you."**

"I'd say you haven't improved since he last saw you!" said Sirius. "I agree." said the Ravenclaw girls.

**"I hoped school would knock some manners into you." She took a large gulp of tea, wiped her mustache, and said, "Where is it that you send him, again, Vernon?" "St. Brutus's," said Uncle Vernon promptly. "It's a first-rate institution for hopeless cases."**

**"I see," said Aunt Marge. "Do they use the cane at St. Brutus's, boy?" she barked across the table." "Er-" Uncle Vernon nodded curtly behind Aunt Marge's back.**

"Don't you lie Harry James Potter or I will kill you myself when your born!" said Lily glaring at the book. "Aw your going to name it after James?" cooed Erin smiling. "Yes, I've just decided." said Lily. "Continue." said James.

**"Yes," said Harry. Then, feeling he might as well do the thing properly, he added, "all the time." "Excellent," said Aunt Marge. "I won't have this namby-pamby, wishy-washy nonsense about not hitting people who deserve it."**

"That little--" Lily began to say but was interrupted. "Mind finishing that sentence Evans? I'd love to dock points from Gryffindor for language." said Severus.

"You wouldn't dare she never said anything to begin with." said Alexandria standing up to face Snape. "Maybe lets say ten points from Ravenclaw for that comment. Thank you Ms. Boston." Alexandria stood there about five inches shorter than Severus looking him in the eye.

"Come out of it Alex." said Sirius to her. "No, no she wants to play games, games we shall play." said Severus grinning. "Stupefy!" yelled Severus pointing his wand at Alexandria.

"You little arrogant prick." yelled Sirius as he jumped on to Severus. Sirius started throwing punches left and right. Finally James and Remus got up and pulled Sirius off of him. "Your lucky James and Remus were here Snivellus! Otherwise I would have beat your bloody ass!" yelled Sirius as they walked him away.

"What the hell did he curse her for?" said James. "For no reason mate, that's why I tackled him. He shouldn't treat a lady like that." said Sirius wiping the dirt off his clothes. "Well your lucky that McGonagall didn't see you mate or we would of had detention for another month." said James shaking his head. When Remus, Sirius, and James reached back to their reading place they found two out of four girls gone.

"Where did Samantha and Alex go?" Sirius asked Sandy. "Samantha escorted Alex up to the infirmary, we think she broke her ankle." said Sandy. "Well should we continue with out them?" Remus asked Erin. "I guess we can inform them on what they missed." Erin said while fixing her hair in a bun.

**"A good thrashing is what's needed in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred. Have you been beaten often?" "Oh, yeah," said Harry, "loads of times."**

All six of them felt sick after hearing this sentence. Nobody wanted to hear about Harry getting beat, but they were glad that it was not true.

**Aunt Marge narrowed her eyes."I still don't like your tone, boy," she said. "If you can speak of your beatings in that casual way, they clearly aren't hitting you hard enough. Petunia, I'd write if I were you. Make it clear that you approve the use of extreme force in this boy's case."**

"Why should he? What concern is it to you? Not like you only see him once every what two years!" said Lily furiously.

**Perhaps Uncle Vernon was worried that Harry might forget their bargain; in any case, he changed the subject abruptly."Heard the news this morning, Marge? What about that escaped prisoner, eh?"**

"No she didn't !" said Sirius. "Calm down, Padfoot." whispered James. "How am I supposed to be calm?" whispered Sirius to James.

**As Aunt Marge started to make herself at home, Harry caught himself thinking almost longingly of life at number four without her.**

"No!" said Erin. "I think we need to hex this woman when we meet her." said James to Lily. "I agree!" said Sirius.

**Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia usually encouraged Harry to stay out of their way, which Harry was only too happy to do. Aunt Marge, on the other hand, wanted Harry under her eye at all times so that she could boom out suggestions for his improvement. **

**She delighted in comparing Harry with Dudley, and took huge pleasure in buying Dudley expensive presents while glaring at Harry, as though daring him to ask why he hadn't got a present too. She also kept throwing out dark hints about what made Harry such an unsatisfactory person."**

**"You musn't blame yourself for the way the boy's turned out, Vernon, she said over lunch on the third day. "If there's something rotten on the inside, there's nothing anyone can do about it."**

"Hey! There is nothing wrong with my son!" said Lily. "Yeah!" said Erin and Sandy together. " I wish she would fall on her fat arse!" said Sandy smiling at Remus. "Me too." he replied quickly.

**Harry tried to concentrate on his food, but his hands shook and his face was starting to burn with anger. Remember the form, he told himself. Think about Hogsmeade. Don't say anything. Don't rise- Aunt Marge reached for her glass of wine.**

**"It's one of the basic rules of breeding," she said. "You see it all the time with dogs. If there's something wrong with the bitch, they'll be something wrong with the pup-"**

"I am not a bitch! If anyone is it's you!" said Lily. "Hey Lily may be a little strict but that doesn't mean she is a bitch!" said Sirius just as furious as Lily. "Don't worry Lily your not a bitch." Erin and Sandy told her while pulling her into a hug. "It's okay." cooed the two girls to Lily.

**At that moment, the wineglass Aunt Marge was holding exploded in her hand. Shards of glass flew in every direction and Aunt Marge sputtered and blinked, her great ruddy face dripping.**

"Go harry it's your birthday! Woo-hoo!" said Sirius. "Well actually it is." James told lily when she shook her head. "Wow he actually told the truth while still acting like a five year old, big accomplishment!" said Remus sarcastically. "Thank you!" said Sirius smiling. "God!" said Remus.

**"Marge!" squealed Aunt Petunia. "Marge, are you alright?"**

"I hope not!" said James.

**"Not to worry," grunted Aunt Marge, mopping her face with her napkin.**

"Damn." was the main noise you heard from the group.

**"Must have squeezed it too hard. Did the same thing at Colonel Fubster's the other day. No need to fuss, Petunia, I have a very firm grip……"** **But Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were both looking at Harry suspiciously, so he decided he'd better skip dessert and escape from the table as soon as he could.**

"He did wand less magic! I am so proud!" said James smiling anxiously at Lily. "Me too, me too!" said Lily. "Aw! How cute!" said the girls and Sirius together. The girls looked at Sirius with a scared smile and decided to think nothing of his feminine side.

**Outside in the hall, he leaned against the wall, breathing deeply. It had been a long time since he'd lost control and made something explode.**

"Oh and it's not the first time either." said James quickly while ruffling his hair. "Seems as Harry has some talent." said Sandy looking up at Remus when she said this.

Everyone knew that Sandy and Remus liked each other but yet no one ever said anything about it. They never did anything about their crush, except for deepening it. " I wish you two would go shag like bunnies and get it over with!" said Sirius to Remus out loud.

"Sirius!" yelled Sandy. "I don't know what Lex sees in you I swear!" she said. "She sees in me?" said Sirius now grinning. "She sees in me?" said Sirius jumping up and down all over the courtyard. From an outsiders point of view you would have thought he would have won the power ball (lottery) two million, but no he got a girl.

"Okay Sirius it is just a girl. Hold your hippogriffs!" said James. "Quite frankly, I don't know what girl would want to date you, I find you a bit immature and childish." said Lily. "And your point is?" said Sirius to happy to care. "Forget it he's hopeless!" said Lily shaking her head.

**He couldn't afford to let it happen again. The Hogsmeade form wasn't the only thing at stake- if he carried on like that, he'd be in trouble with the Ministry of Magic.**

"Oh the big boys!" said James smiling.

**Harry was still an underage wizard, and he was forbidden by wizard law to do magic outside school. His record wasn't exactly clean either.**

"Sounds like a true marauder to me, like I said earlier." said Sirius. "Yes actually he does, can't be one with a clean record." said Remus smiling. "That's my son!" said James with a glint of pride.

**Only last summer he'd gotten an official warning that had stated quite clearly that if the Ministry got wind of any more magic in Privet Drive, Harry would face expulsion from Hogwarts.**

**He heard the Dursleys leaving the table and hurried upstairs out of the way.**

**Harry got through the next three days by forcing himself to think about his Handbook of Do-It-Yourself Broomcare whenever Aunt Marge started on him. This worked quite well, though it seemed to give him a glazed look, because Aunt Marge started voicing the opinion that he was mentally subnormal. At last, at long last, the final evening of Marge's stay arrived.**

"Hurray!" the six of them all cheered.

**Aunt Petunia cooked a fancy dinner and Uncle Vernon uncorked several bottles of wine. They got all the way through the soup and the salmon without a single mention of Harry's faults; during the lemon meringue pie, Uncle Vernon bored them all with a long talk about Grunnings, his drill-making company; then Aunt Petunia made coffee and Uncle Vernon brought out a bottle of brandy.**

**"Can I tempt you, Marge?" Aunt Marge had already had quite a lot of wine. Her huge face was very red. "Just a small one, then," she chuckled. "A bit more than that……and a bit more……that's the ticket."**

"I swear on my life it's a full glass." said Sirius to Lily. "I hold you u to that." she replied.

**Dudley was eating his forth slice of pie. Aunt Petunia was sipping coffee with her little finger out.**

"I hate it when she does that." stated Lily cringing. "I can't wait for this chapter to finish so we can go to lunch." said Sirius . The noise of his stomach could be heard all over the grounds.

**Harry really wanted to disappear into his bedroom, but he met Uncle Vernon's angry little eyes and knew he would have to sit it out."**

**"Ahh," said Aunt Marge, smacking her lips and putting the empty brandy glass back down. "Excellent nosh, Petunia. It's normally just a fry-up for me of an evening, with twelve dogs to look after……" She burped richly and patted her great tweed stomach. "Pardon me. But I do like to see a healthy-sized boy," she went on, winking at Dudley. "You'll be a proper-sized man, Dudders, like your father. Yes, I'll have a spot more brandy, Vernon……"**

"Yeah a healthy-sized boy to use is a polar bear." said Lily. "Ew I don't like this woman." said Erin while flipping out her hair. "Me too." said Sandy while moving over towards Remus.

**"Now this one here-" She jerked her head at Harry, who felt his stomach clench. The Handbook, he thought quickly. "This one's got a mean, runty look about him. You get that with dogs. I had Colonel Fubster drown one last year. Ratty little thing it was. Weak. Underbred."**

"Aw now that's cruelty to poor dogs!" said Sirius almost on the verge of tears. "Now, now. It's okay." Lily told Sirius as she patted his back.

**Harry was trying to remember page twelve of his book: A Charm to Cure Reluctant Reversers. "It all comes down to blood, as I was saying the other day. Bad blood will out.**

"She'd definitely be in Slytherin if she was a witch." said Sandy looking at the book over Remus's shoulders. "I agree." said Remus looking up at her. "Oh somebodies are in love." Sirius said out loud. "Shut up." the two said.

**Now, I'm saying nothing against your family, Petunia" ––she patted Aunt Petunia's bony hand with her shovel-like one- "but your sister was a bad egg."**

"Im, I'm, I'm a bad e-e-eg-eg-egg?" said Lily almost to tears. "No your not sweetheart don't worry what that bitch says." said James while running his fingers through her hair. "How sweet!" said Erin clasping her hands together.

**"They turn up in the best of families. Then she ran off with-**

"Um that's enough for today. Let's go eat." said Remus getting up. Sandy looked at Remus and whispered something in his ear that nobody could hear. "Are you sure?" Remus asked her. "Yes, he will be fine." said Sandy glancing nervously at James.

**a wastrel and here's the result right in front of us."**

"WHAT I'M A WASTREL? YOU'VE INSULTED MY SON, MY WIFE AND NOW ME? DID YOU LEAVE OUT OUR PET TOO?" screamed James. The whole courtyard was looking up at him. "You okay mate?" said Peter walking up and sitting down with them. "Yeah." said James ruffling up his hair.

"What are y'all doing?" asked Peter as he sat down next to Erin who then moved over a few spaces away from him. "Nothing, just reading a story." said Sirius smiling. "Well I suppose I've missed to much, how 'bout I just see y'all at lunch?" said Peter getting up. "All righ' mate." said James.

Peter walked away and everything felt at ease again. "Eh, keep him away from me." said Erin slightly smiling. "We can only try." said Sirius smiling at her. "Could you continue already?" James asked Remus. "All right then, here we go." said Remus.

**Harry was staring at his plate, a funny ringing in his ears. Grasp your broom firmly by the tail, he thought. But he couldn't remember what came next. Aunt Marge's voice seemed to be boring into him like one of Uncle Vernon's drills.**

**"This Potter," said Aunt Marge loudly, seizing the brandy bottle and splashing more into her glass and over the tablecloth, "you never told me what he did?" Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia were looking extremely tense. Dudley hadn't even looked up from his pie to gape at his parents. "He- didn't work," said Uncle Vernon, with half a glance at Harry. "Unemployed."**

"I'm sure I wasn't unemployed!" said James mad again.

**"As I expected!" said Aunt Marge, taking a huge swig of brandy and wiping her chin on her sleeve. "A no-account, good-for-nothing, lazy scrounger who-" "He was not," said Harry suddenly.**

"You tell 'em son!" said James quickly. "Yeah I didn't marry a no-account, good for nothing, lazy, scrounger, who was unemployed." bellowed Lily to the group.

**The table suddenly went very quiet. Harry was shaking all over. He had never felt so angry in his life. "MORE BRANDY!" yelled Uncle Vernon, who had gone very white. He emptied the bottle into Aunt Marge's glass. "You, boy," he snarled at Harry. "Go to bed, go on-" **

**"No, Vernon," hiccupped Aunt Marge, holding up a hand, her tiny bloodshot eyes fixed on Harry's. "Go on, boy, go on. Proud of your parents, are you? They go and get themselves killed in a car crash (drunk, I expect)-"**

"Hey! I don't even know how to drive a car!" protested James.

**"They didn't die in a car crash!" said Harry, who found himself on his feet.**

**"They died in a car crash, you nasty little liar, and left you to be a burden on their decent, hardworking relatives!" screamed Aunt Marge, swelling with fury. "You are an insolent, ungrateful little-"**

**But Aunt Marge suddenly stopped speaking. For a moment, it looked as though words had failed her. She seemed to be swelling with inexpressible anger- but the swelling didn't stop. **

**Her great red face started to expand, her tiny eyes bulged, and her mouth stretched too tightly for speech- next second, several buttons had just burst from her tweed jacket and pinged off the walls- she was inflating like a monstrous balloon, her stomach bursting free of her tweed waistband, each of her fingers blowing up like a salami-**

"Cool." said James and Sirius. "No blowing up his aunt can get him in major trouble James." said Lily. "So, your point?" said Sirius smiling. "Forget it, Lily." Remus told her.

**"MARGE!" yelled Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia together as Aunt Marge's whole body began to rise off her chair toward the ceiling. She was entirely round, now, like a vast life buoy with piggy eyes, and her hands and feet stuck out weirdly as she drifted up into the air, making apoplectic popping noises. Ripper came skidding into the room, barking madly.**

**"NOOOOOOO!"**

"Yessssssss!" the whole group said. They all laughed for a minute than started to continue the story.

**Uncle Vernon seized one of Marge's feet and tried to pull her down again, but was almost lifted from the floor himself. A second later, Ripper leapt forward and sank his teeth into Uncle Vernon's leg.**

"That's what you get you big lug for being cruel towards my son!" said Lily smiling at the thought of this.

**Harry tore from the dining room before anyone could stop him, heading for the cupboard under the stairs. The cupboard door burst magically open as he reached it. In seconds, he had heaved his trunk to the front door. **

**He sprinted upstairs and threw himself under the bed, wrenching up the loose floorboard, and grabbed the pillowcase full of his books and birthday presents. He wriggled out, seized Hedwig's empty cage, and dashed back downstairs to his trunk, just as Uncle Vernon burst out of the dining room, his trouser leg in bloody tatters. **

**"COME BACK IN HERE!" he bellowed. "COME BACK AND PUT HER RIGHT!"**

"Why should he?" bellowed Sirius looking much happier than normal.

**But a reckless rage had come over Harry. He kicked his trunk open, pulled out his wand, and pointed it at Uncle Vernon. "She deserved it," Harry said, breathing very fast. "She deserved what she got. You keep away from me." **

**He fumbled behind him for the latch on the door. "I'm going," Harry said. "I've had enough." And in the next moment, he was out in the dark, quiet street, heaving his heavy trunk behind him, Hedwig's cage under his arm.**

"Wow, um, Intense." Sandy managed to say.

A/N: Please Review!


	3. The Knight Bus

"More, More, More!" said Sirius sitting down. "I'll do what ever you want moony!" said Sirius smiling "Jump!" James told him. "How high?" said Sirius. "Oh god, not this again," said Remus.

"**Fine but lunch after this chapter," exclaimed Remus hungrily. "Agreed?" he asked the group. "Yes," was he main murmur "Okay then, chapter three, Owl Post."**

**Harry was several streets away before he collapsed onto a low wall in Magnolia Crescent, panting from the effort of dragging his trunk.**

"Harry James Potter, you walk your butt back in Petunia's house and stay there! I don't want you out and about with a killer on the loose!" Lily said yelling at the book. Sirius seemed quite offended by this.

"Excuse me!" We have yet to find out if it was my mother or not, it could have been Bellatrix too! Did you stop to think about that?" Sirius said angrily to Lily. "Calm down." said a girl's voice. Sirius spun around to find Alexandria and Samantha back from the hospital wing.

They all sat there giving detail, on what happened during the fight, and what had happened in the book. When all of a sudden James was pulled up by his shirt and thrown across the lawn.

xXxXx MisChieF xXxXx

"Hermione!" yelled Ron. Hermione opened her eyes to find her out in the hall way on the third corridor. "Wait, we were just in the common room." said Hermione sitting up. "Yeah I realized that too." said Ron while scratching his head.

"How do you suppose we got here?" said Hermione looking around. "No clue, well whatever. Harry told us to meet him outside remember?" said Ron sticking out a hand to pull Hermione up off the ground. She accepted it and got up. "Shall we?" said Ron opening the door for her to the grand stair case.

"So, what was it again, that Harry was doing outside?" said Ron. "Oh he was meeting with what's left of the D.A." said Hermione walking rather quickly. "Ladies first." Ron said as he held open the door. Hermione and Ron walked out side and immediately noticed Harry.

"What is that Ginny? In Harry's lap?" said Ron running furiously at James (Harry). "Wait Ron!" yelled Hermione after him. Yet Ron was quick. He was soon over by James's side. He pulled up James's by his shirt collar and threw him as far as he could.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM HARRY? TRYING TO BE A BACK STABBER LIKE PETTIGREW? I KNOW EVER SINCE SIRIUS DIED YOU'VE BEEN ACTING FUNNY BUT THAT IS NO EXCUSE. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO HIT ON MY SISTER LIKE THAT! NOT EVEN MALFOY IS THAT BAD!" yelled Ron furiously.

Hermione was finally at Ron's side. "RON STOP! HARRY'S BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH! LEAVE SIRIUS'S DEATH ALONE! HE ALREADY HAS ENOUGH PRESSURE WITH REMUS, TONKS, AND MOODY AND THEM HE DOESN'T NEED YOURS! AND WOULD SIRIUS WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO ATTACK HARRY!" Hermione yelled back. "I wouldn't?" said Sirius with his mouth open. "No you wouldn't" Hermione started to say then looked at Sirius.

All three marauders were looking way beyond confused. "Who the ruddy hell is Harry?" James asked at once. "Oh my!" said Hermione with a horrific look. She slowly walked up to James and pushed a side his hair. "That's not Harry, that's Harry's dad. And that's his mum. And that's Sirius, and Lupin. No way." said Ron looking astonished.

"Hermione I have a feeling we are not in our time any more." said Ron with one of his signature horrified faces. "No, really?" she said pacing back in forth. "Um, excuse me, but your name is Hermione right?" said Sirius standing up. "Yeah , Sirius yes we've met many times." she said out stretching her hand.

"I suppose you have met me too then?" said Remus standing up and walking over to them. "Yes we have had the pleasure of being your pupils." said Hermione. "Bloody, he looks so much different when he was younger." Ron said gawking at the 16 year old Lupin.

"Is that a good thing?" Remus said smiling. "Depends how you look at it mate." said Ron smiling while taking a seat in the grass. "By the way, I'm bloody sorry bout yelling at you earlier. Thought you we're Harry, he's my best mate, your future son. And I thought you," he said while pointing at Lily, "were my sister Ginny." he said sheepishly.

"Okay wait!" screamed Alexandria in a disbelief of shock. "Your name is?" she asked Ron. "Ronald Weasley." he said. "Alright and your Hermione. So what year is it?" "September 8, 1996." said Hermione. "No its September 8, 1976." said Alexandria calmly while taking a step back.

"Interesting," said Hermione, Lily, and Remus, all at the same time. "Gosh 'Mione just had to end you up with Lupin. You two together drive me mental!" Ron said laying his head in the grass. "And like you weren't to begin with?" snapped Hermione. "I'll be Harry for a moment, Shut Up!" said James.

"Ah," said Ron resuming to sitting up. "Let me see the last thing I remember doing is flipping my time turner!" said Hermione at once. "Ron, how many times did you turn it." Hermione asked giving him a very ugly glare. "I don't now Mione say about twenty or so then it spun in opposite direction for a while then the other way." he said while pulling out some grass.

"Ronald Weasley!" she screamed and ran after him slapping and punching but Remus had grabbed her buy her waste and was containing her from lashing out. "You are so lucky Lupin is holding me back, because I swear Ron, I'd bout kill you!" Hermione screamed.

"Calm down." Sirius told her while petting her head. The eight of them looked at him with a -stop-doing-that face, but he didn't get the drift. "Would you stop petting me I'm not a dog!" said Hermione trying to hint that she knew. "What? Ooh yes. Sorry." said Sirius.

"Well I'm guessing you've read the book?" Remus asked Hermione letting her go. "What book?" "Oh no, told you they were horrible together. Books, and stuff like that. Especially werewolves." said Ron. At his last sentence all the marauders focused their attention towards Ron.

"What do you know about werewolves?" Remus asked Ron. " Oh I know that- Ouch! Hermione that hurt!" Ron gasped as he held his dear toe for life. "Anyways you said something about a book." said Hermione trying to change the subject while smiling. Yet, all the marauders were eyeing them suspiciously.

"_Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban_, is the name of it. We realized that it was about James and Lily's son." said Remus smiling at Hermione. He knew that she knew and she knew that he knew. He was quite happy that she wasn't scared off for being a werewolf. "Never read it but if I had to guess sounds like our third year when Sirius escapes from Azkaban."

"Oh, Remus. Go on, If they have already lived it then they can pick up from where we were." said Lily starting to get frustrated. "Yeah." said the group of Ravenclaw girls in agreement. "Alright then, here we go." said Remus as his voice began to drift off.

**He sat quite still, anger surging through him, listening to the frantic thumping of his heart.**

**But after ten minutes alone in the dark street, a new emotion overtook him: panic. Whichever way he looked at it, he had never been in a worse fix. He was stranded, quite alone, in the dark Muggle world, with absolutely nowhere to go.**

**And the worst of it was, he had just done serious magic, which meant that he was almost certainly expelled from Hogwarts. **

"You dummy! The ministry of magic has no control over Hogwarts students what so ever. Only Dumbledore does. How many times have I told him that Ron?" Hermione said shaking her head. "Only about fifty." said Ron.

**He had broken the Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry so badly, he was surprised Ministry of Magic Representatives weren't swooping down on him where he sat**.

"Your son isn't to bright at times prongs." said Sirius. "Oh yes he is, he won the Tri-Wizard Tournament in our fourth year." said Ron smiling. "Really?" said Lily smiling. "Our son is smart!" she said while joining Sirius with jumping up and down.

**Harry shivered and looked up and down Magnolia Crescent. What was going to happen to him? Would he be arrested, or would he simply be outlawed from the wizarding world? He thought of Ron and Hermione, and his heart sank even lower.**

"Aw, I feel loved." said ron in a fake girly voice. "Oh be quiet!" Hermione and Sandy told him at once.

Harry was sure that criminal or not, Ron and Hermione would want to help him now, but they were both abroad, and with Hedwig gone, he had no means of contacting him.

**He didn't have any Muggle money, either. There was a little wizard gold in the money bag at the bottom of his trunk, but the rest of the fortune his parents had left him was stored in a vault at Gringotts Wizarding Bank in London. Unless……**

**He looked down at his wand, which he was still clutching in his hand. If he was already expelled (his heart was now thumping painfully fast), a bit more magic couldn't hurt. He had the Invisibility Cloak he had inherited from his father.**

"Wait how did he get it?" said James slightly confused. "Oh fist year for Christmas, someone gave it to him anonymously, but me and Harry think it was Dumbledore." replied Ron remembering that memory like it was yesterday.

"Does he use it much?" said James excitedly. "James! You should not encourage are child to get into mischief!" Lily said hitting his hand. Ron nodded when Lily wasn't looking and James smiled.

**What if he bewitched the trunk to make it feather-light, tied it to his broomstick, covered himself in the cloak, and flew to London?**

"I hope he doesn't that's just dangerous!" said Erin worriedly. "Don't worry he won't," said Ron. "Ron! Don't give away what happens!" said Hermione.

**Then he could get the rest of his money out of his vault and……begin his life as an outcast. It was a horrible prospect, but he couldn't sit on this wall forever, or he'd find himself trying to explain to Muggle police why he was out in the dead of night with a trunk full of spell books and a broomstick.**

"Actually that'd be quite amusing," said Remus. "Now that you think about yeah it would be," said James grinning.

**Harry opened his trunk again and pushed the contents aside looking for the Invisibility Cloak- but before he had found it, he straightened up suddenly, looking around him once more.**

**A funny prickling on the back of his neck had made Harry feel like he was being watched, but the street appeared to be deserted, and no lights shone from any of the large square houses. He bent over his trunk again, but almost immediately stood up once more, his hand clenched on his wand.**

"I swear he reminds me of Moody sometimes," said Hermione in Ron's ear. "Yeah, Harry is a bit of a nutcase sometimes," said Ron whispering.

**He had sensed rather than heard it: someone or something was standing in the narrow gap between the garage and the fence behind him. Harry squinted at the black alleyway. If only it would move, then he'd know whether it was just a stray cat or- something else.**

**"Lumos," Harry muttered, and a light appeared at the end of his wand, almost dazzling him. He held it high over his head, and the pebble-dashed walls of number two suddenly sparkled; the garage door gleamed, and between them Harry saw, quite distinctly, the hulking outline of something very big, with wide, gleaming eyes.**

**Harry stepped backward. His legs hit his trunk and he tripped. His wand flew out of his hand as he flung out an arm to break his fall, and he landed, hard, in the gutter-**

"Better his body than his mind," said Sirius smirking. "Black!" said Lily while rolling her eyes.

**There was a deafening BANG, and Harry threw up his hands to shield his eyes against a sudden blinding light. With a yell, he rolled back onto the pavement, just in time. A second later, a gigantic pair of wheels and headlights screeched to halt exactly where Harry had just been lying. They belonged, as Harry saw when he raised his head, to a triple-decked, violently purple bus, which had appeared out of thin air. Gold lettering of the windshield spelled The Knight Bus.**

"Hehe, the Knight Bus!" said Sirius and James, smiling. "That is the coolest thing ever, next to a flying motor cycle of course," said Sirius.

**For a split second, Harry wondered if he had been knocked silly by his fall. Then a conductor in a purple uniform leapt out of the bus and began to speak loudly to the night.**

"**Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard. Just stick out your wand hand, step on board, and we can take you anywhere you want to go. My name is Stan Shunpike, and I will be your conductor this eve-"**

**The conductor stopped abruptly. He had just caught sight of Harry, who was still sitting on the ground. Harry snatched up his wand again and scrambled to his feet. Close up, he saw that Stan Shunpike was only a few years older than he was, eighteen or nineteen at most, with large protruding ears and quite a few pimples.**

"Ew pimples!" said Sirius curling up into a little ball. To him pimples were the equivalent of the boogie man. The group stared at him and shook their heads. So not wanting to feel left out Sirius shook with them. "God!" whispered Hermione.

"**What were you doin' down there?" said Stan, dropping his professional matter.**

"Why is it people do this?" asked James a loud. "Some people have no proper business etiquette." said Remus looking up from the book. "What does etiquette mean?" Sirius asked Hermione. "Don't worry it's something you will never have." Hermione told him.

**"Fell over," said Harry.**

"Duh!" said Sirius hitting his head.

"**Choo fall over for?" sniggered Stan.**

"I don't know Harry, what'd you fall over for, must've been on purpose because, who falls over on accident?" said Lily slightly annoyed.

**"I didn't do it on purpose," said Harry, annoyed.**

"Mother like Son." said Erin. " I thought it was father like son." Sirius said. " How did he escape from Azkaban? It amazes me with a brain like that." Lily told Hermione.

**One of the knees in his jeans was torn, and the hand he had thrown out to break his fall was bleeding. He suddenly remembered why he had fallen over and turned around quickly to stare at the alleyway between the garage and the fence. The Knight Bus's headlamps were flooding it with light, and it was empty. "Choo lookin' at?" said Stan."**

"Why's this git have to be so nosy?" said James. "Maybe he's lookin at your ugly face!" said Sirius now curling over in laughter. The grounds were completely silent except for Sirius's laughing, yet he still got no hint.

"**There was a big black thing," said Harry, pointing uncertainly into the gap. "Like a dog……but massive……" **

"Sirius?" Remus said a loud not realizing. "Yeah," Hermione nodded.

**He looked around at Stan, whose mouth was slightly open. With a feeling of unease, Harry saw Stan's eyes move to the scar on Harry's forehead. "Woss that on you 'ead?" said Stan abruptly.**

" Possibly his hair?" said Ron now annoyed by Stan too. "Is he an interrogator?" Lily asked Remus. "Seems so." said Remus smiling at Hermione. Sandy frowned at this, yet no one seemed to notice.

**"Nothing," said Harry quickly, flattening his hair over his scar. If the Ministry of Magic was looking for him, he didn't want to make it too easy for them.**

"Good idea young chap," said James smiling. "Don't call our son chap! Do you know how weird that sounds?" said Lily looking at him. "No," he replied. "Of course you don't, why would you?" she said.

**"Woss your name?" Stan persisted.**

"What's up with the third degree?" Alexandria said. "They git keeps asking question after question," said Samantha. "Can I rename Harry, Oswald? Can I? Can I?" said Sirius begging Lily and James. "Why?" that way when he asks what his name is he has something stupid to say!" said Sirius with a tone of pride. "Um, no," said Lily looking at him with sympathy

**"Neville Longbottom," said Harry, saying the first name that came into his head. "So- so this bus," he went on quickly, hoping to distract Stan, "did you say it goes anywhere?"**

**"Yep," said Stan proudly, "anywhere you like, long's it's on land. Can't do nuffink underwater. 'Ere," he said, looking suspicious again, "you did flag us down, dincha? Stuck out your wand 'and, dincha?"**

**"Yes," said Harry quickly. "Listen, how much would it be to get to London?"**

**"Eleven Sickles," said Stan, "But for firteen you get 'ot chocolate, and for fifteen you get an 'ot water bottle an' a toofbrush in the color of your choice."**

**"Harry rummaged once more in his trunk, extracted his money bag, and shoved some gold into Stan's hand. He and Stan then lifted his trunk, with Hedwig's cage balanced on top, up the steps of the bus.**

**There were no seats; instead, half a dozen brass besteads stood beside the curtained windows. Candles were burning in brackets beside each bed, illuminating the wood-paneled walls. A tiny wizard in a nightcap at the rear of the bus muttered, "Not now, thanks, I'm pickling some slugs" and rolled over in his sleep.**

"Pickling slugs is fun!" said Sirius smiling. "Ew, no, no it's not." said Hermione. "Eh, don't mention slugs." said Ron feeling as if he was about to throw up. "Ron had a bad experience with throwing up slugs one time. Hasn't been to fond of 'em ever since." said Hermione smiling.

**"You 'ave this one," Stan whispered, shoving Harry's trunk under the bed right behind the driver, who was sitting in an armchair in front of the steering wheel. "This is our driver, Ernie Prang."**

"At least he is on the first floor." said Remus sighing. "It's still fun though." said Sirius and James with a devilish grin.

"Hmm you know what the knight _bus_ reminds me of?" said Sirius with a huge smile on his face. Sirius leaned over and whispered something into James ear and he nodded his head with a smile. " one, two, three," said Sirius.

"The wheels on the bus go round and round,  
round and round,  
round and round.  
The wheels on the bus go round and round,  
all through the town."

Sirius and James sang, at this point Alexandria, Sandy, Ron, Samantha, and Erin had joined in.

"The wipers on the bus go Swish, swish, swish;  
Swish, swish, swish; Swish, swish, swish.  
The wipers on the bus go Swish, swish, swish,  
all through the town."

Lily and Hermione looked scarily annoyed. Remus was slightly laughing while singing a long.

"The horn on the bus goes Beep, beep, beep;  
Beep, beep, beep;  
Beep, beep, beep.  
The horn on the bus goes Beep, beep, beep,  
all through the town..

The money on the bus goes, Clink, clink, clink;  
Clink, clink, clink;  
Clink, clink, clink.  
The money on the bus goes, Clink, clink, clink,  
all through the town.

The Driver on the bus says "Move on back,  
move on back, move on back;"

"Stop!" yelled Hermione and Lily at the same time. They were sick and frustrated with the song and Sirius. "Party pooper!" stated Sirius. "Thank you!" snapped Lily. "That wasn't a good thing," he said giving her a glare. "Well, neither are you!" she said then looked away and stared at the lake for a rather long time.

"Go on." said Sandy.

**"This is Neville Longbottom, Ern."**

**Ernie Prang, an elderly wizard wearing very thick glasses, nodded to Harry, who nervously flattened his bangs again and sat down on his bed. "Take 'er away, Ern," said Stan, sitting down in the armchair next to Ernie's. There was another tremendous BANG, and the next moment Harry found himself flat on his bed, thrown backward by the speed of the Knight Bus.**

"The knight bus will do that to ya'." said Sirius smiling.

**Pulling himself up, Harry stared out of the dark window and saw that they were now bowling along a completely different street. Stan was watching Harry's stunned face with great enjoyment.**

**"This is where we was before you flagged us down," he said, "Where are we, Ern? Somewhere in Wales?" "Ar," said Ernie.**

"English would be nice, thank you," said Lily sarcastically.

"How come the Muggles don't hear the bus?" said Harry.

"My son is about as thick as Sirius!" said James sadly. "Good for Harry!" said Sirius smiling.

**"Them!" said Stan contemptuously. "Don' listen properly, do they? Don' look properly either. Never notice nuffink, they don'."**

**"Best go wake up Madam Marsh, Stan," said Ern. "We'll be in Abergavenny in a minute." Stan passed Harry's bed and disappeared up a narrow wooden staircase."**

**Harry was still looking out of the window, feeling increasingly nervous. Ernie didn't seem to have mastered the use of a steering wheel. The Knight Bus kept mounting the pavement, but it didn't hit anything; lines of lampposts, mailboxes, and trash cans jumped out of its way as it approached and back into position once it had passed.**

"Smart mailboxes and sort! If they know to move," muttered Remus. "You mind me reading?" Hermione asked him. "Oh, are you sure?" he said looking at her. "Yeah, I'm sure." she said smiling. "Alright then," he said as he handed Hermione the book.

**Stan came back downstairs, followed by a faintly green witch wrapped in a traveling cloak.**

**" 'Ere you go, Madam Marsh," said Stan happily as Ern stamped on the brake and the beds slid a foot or two toward the front of the bus."**

**Madam Marsh clamped a handkerchief to her mouth and tottered down the steps. Stan threw he bag out after he and rammed the doors shut; there was another loud BANG, and they were thundering down a narrow country lane, trees leaping out of the way.**

**Harry wouldn't have been able to sleep even if he had been traveling on a bus that didn't keep banging loudly and jumping a hundred miles at a time. His stomach churned as he fell back to wondering what was going to happen to him, and whether the Dursleys had managed to get Aunt Marge off the ceiling yet."**

**Stan had unfurled a copy of the Daily Prophet and was now reading with his tongue between his teeth. A large photograph of a sunken-faced man with long, matted hair blinked slowly at Harry from the front page.**

"Sounds like one ugly lad." said Sirius checking his nails. "Yeah he does." replied the Ravenclaw girls.

**He looked strangely familiar. "That man!" Harry said, forgetting his troubles for a moment. "He was on the Muggle news!" Stanley turned to the front page and chuckled.**

**"Sirius Black," he said, nodding. **

"Calling yourself ugly mate?" said James chuckling. "Aw, poor Sirius." said Alexandria. "Oh, he's fine!" stated Hermione getting annoyed with Alexandria's baby voice. "Don't have to be so snappy about it." said Alexandria while looking at Sirius. "Whatever," mumbled Hermione.

**" 'Course 'e was on the Muggle news, Neville, where you been?" He gave a superior sort of chuckle at the blank look on Harry's face, removed the front page, and handed it to Harry. "You oughta read the papers more, Neville." Harry held the paper up to the candle light and read:"**

"Ron do you remember the article in the prophet when Sirius escaped?" Hermione asked Ron. "Yeah," he said looking up at her. "Well do you think this is suitable for ignorant little girls?" said Hermione looking exactly at Alexandria. Ron knew this was a rhetorical question and kept his mouth shut.

**BLACK STILL AT LARGE**

_**Sirius Black, possibly the most infamous prisoner ever to be held in Azkaban fortress is still eluding capture, the Ministry of Magic confirmed today. "We are doing all we can to recapture Black," said the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, this morning, "and we beg the magical community to remain calm." Fudge has been criticized by some of the members of the International Federation of Warlocks for informing the Muggle Prime Minister of the crisis. "Well, really, I had to, don't you know," said irritable Fudge. "Black is mad. He's a danger to anyone who crosses him, magic or Muggle. I have the Prime Minister's assurance that he will not breathe a word of Black's true identity to anyone. And let's face it- who'd believe him if he did?" While Muggles have been told that Black is carrying a gun (a kind of mental wand that Muggles use to kill each other), the magical community lives in fear of a massacre like that of twelve years ago, when Black murdered thirteen people with a single curse.**_

"I- I- I- d-d-di-di-did w-w-wha-what?" said Sirius putting his head between his knees. Remus sighed and kicked the ground while James just shook his head. It was obvious the marauders were upset. "Don't worry Sirius everything ends up okay, I promise you." said Hermione.

**Harry looked into the shadowed eyes of Sirius Black, the only part of the sunken face that seemed alive. Harry had never met a vampire, but he had seen picture of them in his Defense Against the Dark Arts classes, and Black, with his waxy white skin, looked just like one.**

"Great! I become a mental convict and resemble a vampire! How much better can life get?" said Sirius sarcastically. "Much," said Ron.

**"Scary lookin' fing, inee?" said Stan, who had been watching Harry read. "He murdered thirteen people?" said Harry, handing the page back to Stan. "with one curse?"**

" Talented mental convict that resembles a vampire." said Ron smiling. This made Sirius smile too.

**"Yep," said Stan, "in front of witnesses an' all. Broad daylight. Big troubled it caused, dinnit, Ern?" "Ar," said Ern darkly.**

"Does this git no English?" said Lily to Hermione. "I doubt it," she replied truthfully.

**Stan swiveled in his armchair, his hands on the back, the better to look at Harry." "Black woz a big supporter of You-Know-Who," he said.**

"No I don't! Im anti-Voldemort!" said Sirius shocked. A few of the Ravenclaw girls inched away from Sirius giving him nasty glares. "How could you?" shrieked Alexandria. "O suck a duck!" exclaimed Sirius. "Fine!" And at that, her and the Ravenclaws left. ( A/N: Are you happy The Kaizeress? Lol)

"Good! They were starting to get on my nerves!" said Hermione looking at Remus. "Well that fight with Snape was rather pointless, now." said Sirius rather mad. "I've always hated the Ravenclaw girls they think they are so much smarter because they are in Ravenclaw. Well, they're not." stated Lily gazing across the grounds. "Well shall we continue?" said Remus looking at Hermione. "Oh yeah sure whatever." she said smiling.

**"What, Voldemort?" said Harry, without thinking.**

**Even Stan's pimples went white; **

"Ew," declared Sirius. "Nobody cares about his pimples turning white Rowling!" said Sirius angrily staring at the book as if it was contaminated.

**Ern jerked the steering wheel so hard that a whole farmhouse had to jump aside to avoid the bus.**

"Now see that's what happens when people are so damn jumpy over a name!" said James. "VOLDEMORT, VOLDEMORT, VOLDEMORT, VOLDEMORT! Does it sound like I'm scared? I don't think so," said Sirius while sort of singing Voldemort's name.

**"You outta your tree?" yelped Stan.**

"Yeah it's the first time in years, congratulate me." said James sarcastically. "Really?" exclaimed Sirius with a look of awe. "No!" said Hermione speaking for him.

**"'Choo say 'is name for?"**

"Maybe he felt like it." said Lily feeling proud that she made a comeback, even if it wasn't that great. "Yeah, you tell 'em!" said Ron while stuffing his mouth with food left over from lunch.

**"Sorry," said Harry hastily. "Sorry, I- I forgot-"**

"Don't apologize! It's not your fault he is afraid of a bloody name!" said Remus. "Whoops!" "Ah, mate we all have to vent every now and then!" said James.

**"Forgot!" said Stan weakly. "Blimey, my 'earts goin' that fast……"**

"That's pretty pathetic, if your heart starts racing over a name." Hermione said while pulling back her hair.

**"So- so Black was a supporter of You-Know-Who?" Harry prompted apologetically.**

"No! I wasn't! I Know I would never support some stupid git who thinks he is good enough to take over the world!" said Sirius loudly. "We know, we know calm down!" said Hermione softly. "Yeah mate, it's not like your after Harry or nothing, just calm down!" James said looking at Sirius with a half-heartedly smile.

**"Yeah," said Stan, still rubbing his chest. "Yeah, that's right. Very close to You-Know-'Oo, they say. Anyway, when little 'Arry Potter got the better of You-Know-'Oo-"**

"No, no, no!" pouted Sirius while crossing his arms. "Pouting will not help!" said James tiredly to him. "So," he said.

**Harry nervously flattened his bangs down again.**

**"-all You-Know-'Oo's supporters was tracked down, wasn't they, Ern? Most of 'em knew it was all over, wiv You-Know-'Oo gone, and they came quiet. But not Sirius Black. **

"I wasn't even a supporter to begin with!" said Sirius almost screaming.

**I 'eard he thought 'e'd be second-in-command once You-Know-'Oo 'ad taken over."**

"No, I'm not evil! I'm not like that!" said Sirius looking like he almost cry at his sad fate. "Don't worry, everything will be fine. Let's just finish the book," said Hermione barely smiling.

Remus began to look uneasy and pale. "Is tonight a full moon?" said Hermione curiously. "No," said Sirius answering for Remus. "Pale." said James. And Hermione and Sirius nodded in agreement. "What's wrong moony?" said Sirius. "Mate it's really not that bad just read it," said Ron. Everyone looked at him. He had been quite quiet for a while and everyone forgot he was there. "What," he exclaimed.

**"Anyway, they cornered Black in the middle of a street full of Muggles an' Black took out 'is wand and 'e blasted 'alf the street apart, an' a wizard got it, an' so did a dozen Muggles what got in the way.**

"What? No I didn't this is bull!" Sirius stated as he kicked the ground, and walked off towards Hagrid's cabin. "Sirius, mate, wait!" yelled James running after him. "It will all be alright," said James putting his hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah me murderin' thirteen people will be fine!" said Sirius sarcastically. This was one fo the rare moments that Sirius was dead serious. Normally, he was anything but. "Mate, let's finishing reading the book, before jumping to conclusions. Okay?" said James as he pushed Sirius back to their reading spot.

"Okay, let's finish this chapter quickly! Because this book is starting to cause to much problems," said Lily in a very angry voice. No one dared rebel against her words. She was quite angry and everyone didn't want to have to deal what was coming next.

**'Orrible, eh? An' you know what Black did then?" Stan continued in a dramatic whisper. "Laughed," said Stan. "Jus' stood there an' laughed. An' when reinforcements from the Ministry of Magic got there, 'e went wiv 'em quiet as anyfink, still laughing 'is 'ead off. 'Cos 'e's mad, inee, Ern? Inee mad?"**

"Hmph," was the only noise you heard from the whole group.

**"If he weren't when he went to Azkaban, he will be now," said Ern in his slow voice. "I'd blow meself up before I set foot in that place. Serves him right, mind you……after what he did……"**

"Fuck you," said Sirius calmly. "This is bull." stated James obviously siding with Sirius.

**"They 'ad a job coverin' it up, din' they, Ern?" Stan said. "'Ole street blown up an' all them Muggles dead. What was it they said 'ad 'appened, Ern?" "Gas explosion," grunted Ernie.**

"Stupid muggles." muttered Ron. "Hey!" Lily and Hermione said. "Oh whoops." said Ron innocently. "Whatever," muttered Hermione.

**"An' now 'e's out," said Stan, examining the newspaper picture of Black's gaunt face again. "Never been a breakout from Azkaban before, 'as there, Ern? Beats me 'ow 'e did it. Frightenin', eh? Mind, I don't fancy 'is chances against them Azkaban guards, eh, Ern?" Ernie suddenly shivered. "Talk about summat else, Stan, there's a good lad. Them Azkaban guards give me the collywobbles."**

"Thanks, Ern for a nice change of conversation," said James.

**Stan put the paper away reluctantly, and Harry leaned against the window of the Knight Bus, feeling worse than ever.** **He couldn't help imagining what Stan might be telling his passengers in a few nights' time. "'Ear about that 'Arry Potter? Blew up 'is aunt! We 'ad 'im 'ere on the Knight Bus, di'n't we, Ern? 'E was tryin' to run for it……"**

"Oh please! My son is almost as thick as Sirius thinking that the ministry is going to come after him for blowing up his aunt." Lily said while shaking her head.

**He, Harry, had broken wizard law just like Sirius Black.**

"Hey, No need to use my name."

**Was inflating Aunt Marge bad enough to land him in Azkaban?**

"Uh, NO!" said Hermione in her agitated voice.

**Harry didn't know anything about the wizard prison, though everyone he'd ever heard speak of it did so in the same fearful tone. Hagrid, the Hogwarts gamekeeper, had spent two months there only last year.**

"Ah, what was Hagrid in Azkaban for?" said Lily. "Trust me, it was a mistake, and you don't want to know." Ron said remembering that day way to well. They had snuck down to Hagrid's hut to talk to him, when Cornelius Fudge told him it was mandatory for him to reside at Azkaban until Hogwart's was 'safe'.

**Harry wouldn't soon forget the look of terror on Hagrid's face when he had been told where he was going, and Hagrid was one of the bravest people Harry knew.**

"At least he has dear ol' Hagrid!" said Remus smiling. "Yes, we all love Hagrid." said Hermione just smiling at the thought of him.

**The Knight Bus rolled through the darkness, scattering bushes and wastebaskets, telephone booths and trees, and Harry lay, restless and miserable, on his feather bed. **

**After a while, Stan remembered that Harry had paid for hot chocolate, but poured it all over Harry's pillow when the bus moved abruptly from Anglesea to Aberdeen.**

**One by one, wizards and witches in dressing gowns and slippers descended from the upper floors to leave the bus. They all looked very pleased to go.**

'Who wouldn't be?" said Remus.

**Finally, Harry was the only passenger left. "Right then, Neville," said Stan, clapping his hands, "where abouts in London?"**

**"Diagon Alley," said Harry. "Righto," said Stan. "'Old tight, then……"**

**BANG**

**They were thundering along Charing Cross Road. Harry sat up and watched buildings and benches squeezing themselves out of the Knight Bus's way. The sky was getting a little lighter. He would lie low for a couple of hours, go to Gringotts the moment it opened, then set off- where, he didn't know.**

"Don't you do it Harry!," said Lily looking anxious.

**Ern slammed on the brakes and the Knight Bus skidded to a halt in front of a small and shabby-looking pub, the Leaky Cauldron, behind which lay the magical entrance to Diagon Alley.**

**"Thanks," Harry said to Ern.**

**He jumped down the steps and helped Stan lower his trunk and Hedwig's cage onto the pavement.**

**"Well," said Harry. "'Bye then!"**

**But Stan wasn't paying attention. Still standing in the doorway to the bus, he was goggling at the shadowy entrance to the Leaky Cauldron.**

"What's that git looking at now?" Ron said starting to get sick of Stan.

**"There you are Harry," said a voice.**

**Before Harry could turn, he felt a hand on his shoulder. At the same time, Stan shouted, "Blimey! Ern, come 'ere! Come 'ere!"**

"Oh, No!" said Lily at once.

**Harry looked up at the owner of the hand on his shoulder and felt a bucketful of ice cascade into his stomach- he had walked right into Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic himself. Stan leapt onto the pavement beside them.**

**"What didja call Neville, Minister?" he said excitedly.**

**Fudge, a portly little man in a long, pinstriped cloak, looked cold and exhausted.**

**"Neville?" he repeated, frowning. "This is Harry Potter."**

"Thanks fudge!" said James frowning himself. "Always hated him, only reason why I played with him when I was little was because of dad, he was great friends with his father. Sad that a six year old had to play with a two year old." said James laughing, just the littlest bit.

"I knew it!" Stan shouted gleefully. "Ern! Ern! Guess 'oo Neville is, Ern! 'E's 'Arry Potter! I can see 'is scar!"

"Stupid git," said Hermione at once. "Not as bad as Draco though." said Ron snickering.

**"Yes," said Fudge testily, "well, I'm very glad the Knight Bus picked Harry up, but he and I need to step inside the Leaky Cauldron now……"**

**Fudge increased the pressure on Harry's shoulder, and Harry found himself being steered inside the pub. A stooping figure bearing a lantern appeared through the door behind the bar. It was Tom, the wizened, toothless landlord.**

**"You've got him, Minister!" said Tom. "Will you be wanting anything? Beer? Brandy?"**

**"Perhaps a pot of tea," said Fudge, who still hadn't let go of Harry.**

"Maybe the minister is gay?" said Sirius returning to his normal self. "Don't be silly, Sirius! The minister is married!" said Hermione.

**There was a loud scraping and puffing from behind them, and Stan and Ern appeared, carrying Harry's trunk and Hedwig's cage and looking around excitedly.**

**"'Ow come you di'n't tell us 'oo you are, eh, Neville?" said Stan, beaming at Harry, while Ernie's owlish face peered interestedly over Stan's shoulder.**

**"And a private parlor, please, Tom," said Fudge pointedly.**

**"'Bye," Harry said miserably to Stan and Ern as Tom beckoned Fudge toward the passage that led from the bar.**

**"'Bye, Neville!" called Stan.**

"Okay, now that he does know that Harry is really Harry he is still going to call him Neville?" said Lily. "Wait, huh, Harry is now Harry, I thought Harry was always Harry, aw you confused me!" Sirius exclaimed while rubbing the tips of his fingers against his temples.

**Fudge marched Harry along the narrow passage after Tom's lantern, and then into a small parlor. Tom clicked his fingers, a fire burst into life in the grate, and he bowed himself out of the room.**

**"Sit down, Harry," said Fudge, indicating a chair by the fire.**

**Harry sat down, feeling goose bumps rising up his arms despite the glow of the fire. Fudge took off his pinstriped cloak and tossed it aside, then hitched up the trousers of his bottle-green suit and sat down opposite Harry.**

**"I am Cornelius Fudge, Harry. The Minister of Magic."**

"No, really! Can I have your autograph?!" Sirius said mimicking a young girl's voice while pretending to faint. The marauders, Ron, Hermione, and Lily laughed. "Oh, fudgey-poo do you mind signing my shirt?" Ron managed to say while keeping a high-pitch girl's voice while batting his eyelashes. "Oh, go on." said Hermione still laughing.

**Harry already knew this, of course; he had seen Fudge once before, but as he had been wearing his father's Invisibility Cloak at the time, Fudge wasn't to know that.**

"See our son uses the invisibility cloak! Woo-hoo!" said James happily.

**Tom the innkeeper reappeared, wearing an apron over his nightshirt and bearing a tray of tea and crumpets. He placed the tray on a table between Fudge and Harry and left the parlor, closing the door behind him.**

**"Well, Harry," said Fudge, pouring out tea, "you've had us all in a right flap, I don't mind telling you. Running away from your aunt and uncle's house like that! I'd started to think……but you're safe, and that's what matters."**

"At least he has best intentions for Harry." said Lily with a smile.

**Fudge buttered himself a crumpet and pushed the plate toward Harry.**

**"Eat, Harry, you look dead on your feet.**

"My son does not look dead! Im sure he is handsome!" stated Lily now furious. "Yes, he is!" Hermione said, then she blushed not believing those words came from her mouth.

**Now then……You will be pleased to hear that we have dealt with the unfortunate**

James snorted at the thought of the blowing up of Aunt Marge being unfortunate.

**blowing-up of Miss Marjorie Dursley. Two members of the Accidental Magic Reversal Department were dispatched to Privet Drive a few hours ago. Miss Dursley has been punctured and her memory has been modified. She has no recollection of the incident at all. So that's that, and no harm done."**

**Fudge smiled at Harry over the rim of his teacup, rather like an uncle surveying his favorite nephew.**

"Am I the only one who find that weird?" said Remus looking at Hermione. "Yes, a tad bit I suppose." said Hermione looking at the jacket of the book. "Fudge is a stupid git," said Ron.

**Harry, who couldn't believe his ears, opened his mouth to speak, couldn't think of anything to say, and closed it again.** **"Ah, you're worrying about the reaction of your aunt and uncle?" said Fudge.**

"Um, no I don't think so you pompous piece of trash," said James calmly. "What does he care 'bout them for?" Hermione said a loud.

**"Well, I won't deny that they are extremely angry, but they are prepared to take you back next summer as long as you stay at Hogwarts for the Christmas and Easter holidays."**

**Harry unstuck his throat.**

**"I always stay at Hogwarts for the Christmas and Easter holidays," he said, "and I don't ever want to go back to Privet Drive."**

"You tell 'em Harry!" Sirius yelled proudly. "Hey Sirius," said Lily looking at him. "What?" "Have you considered suing your brain for non-support?" Lily asked him while smiling. The marauders excluding Sirius were laughing as well as Ron and Hermione. "You were asking for it Sirius!" James bellowed while patting his back. "What? I don't get it," he said confused. "God, why didn't his mother use birth control?" Lily said while shaking her head.

**"Now, now, I'm sure you'll feel differently once you've calmed down," said Fudge in a worried tone. "They are your family, after all, and I'm sure you are fond of each other- er- very deep down."**

"Very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, times a thousand deep down," said Ron smirking.

**It didn't occur to Harry to put Fudge right. He was still waiting to hear what was going to happen to him now.**

**"So all that remains," said Fudge, now buttering himself a second crumpet, "is to decide where you're going to spend the last two weeks of your vacation. I suggest you take a room here at the Leaky Cauldron and-"**

**"Hang on," blurted Harry. "What about my punishment?"**

"You Idiot!" James screamed. "You get away with so your going to ask about your punishment? How thick is my son? Has he been hanging around Sirius much?" James asked Hermione. "No, he doesn't meet Sirius till later remember?" Hermione said while looking at Ron.

**Fudge blinked.**

"Very crucial part to the story, I'll tell you what," said Ron.

**"Punishment?"**

**"I broke the law!" Harry said. "The Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry!" "Oh, my dear boy, we're not going to punish you for a little thing like that!" cried Fudge, waving his crumpet impatiently. "It was an accident! We don't send people to Azkaban just for blowing up their aunts!"**

**But this didn't tally at all with Harry's past dealings with the Ministry of Magic. "Last year, I got an official warning just because a house-elf smashed a pudding in my uncle's house!" he told Fudge, frowning. "The Ministry of Magic said I'd be expelled from Hogwarts if there was any more magic there!"**

"He has a house elf," cried Lily. "How dare he own things that were only made for slave labor!" Lily said in a not-to-happy tone. "Oh, no," said Ron. "Your against slave labor for house elves?" Hermione said her eyes growing wide and smiling. "Definitely, it's just cruel how they treat elves," said Lily. The marauders and Ron listened to the two girls talk about S.P.E.W. for a total of ten minutes before some one interrupted them.

"Ahem," said Ron pretending to clear his throat. "Yes?" The two girls said at once with an agitated look. "Do you mind finishing the chapter?" Ron managed to say in an extra high-pitch voice. He was quite scared by the look Lily was giving him. "Fine!"

"Now where was I?" She said as she quickly scanned the page, "Ah yes."

**Unless Harry's eyes were deceiving him, Fudge was suddenly looking awkward.**

**"Circumstances change, Harry……We have to take into account……in the present climate……Surely you don't want to be expelled?"**

"Of course he doesn't!" The whole group said with a 'duh' expression on their faces.

**"Of course I don't," said Harry.**

**"Well then, what's all the fuss about?" laughed Fudge. "Now, have a crumpet, Harry, while I go and see if Tom's got a room for you."**

**Fudge strode out of the parlor and Harry stared after him. There was something extremely odd going on.**

**Why had Fudge been waiting for him at the Leaky Cauldron, if not to punish him for what he'd done? Fudge came back, accompanied by Tom the innkeeper.**

**"Room eleven's free, Harry," said Fudge. "I think you'll be very comfortable. Just one thing, and I'm sure you'll understand……I don't want you wandering off into Muggle London, all right? Keep to Diagon Alley. And you're to be back here before dark each night. Sure you'll understand. Tom will be keeping an eye on you for me."**

"He doesn't have to listen to you! Your not his father!" said James furiously. He has realized how stupid he was and blushed the slightest bit then resumed to look at the grass.

**"Okay," said Harry slowly, "but why-?"**

**"Don't want to loose you again, do we?" said Fudge with a hearty laugh. "No, no……best we know where you are……I mean……"**

**Fudge cleared his throat loudly and picked up his pinstriped cloak.**

"Eh, pinstripes?" said Sirius with a look of laughter coming across his face.

**"Well, I'll be off, plenty to do, you know……"**

**"Have you had any luck with Black yet?" Harry asked.**

"Great Harry just drag me in here!" said Sirius fidgeting slightly.

**"What's that? Oh, you're heard- well, no, not yet, but it's only a matter of time. The Azkaban guards have never yet failed……and they are angrier than I've ever seen them."**

"Joy." said Sirius with a fake smile.

Fudge shuddered slightly.

"That's right, you better be afraid!" Sirius said calmly now with a real smile.

**"So, I'll say good-bye."**

**He held out his hand and Harry, shaking it, had a sudden idea.**

**"Er- Minister? Can I ask you something?"**

**"Certainly," said Fudge with a smile.**

**"Well, third years at Hogwarts are allowed to visit Hogsmeade, but my aunt and uncle didn't sign my permission form. D'you think you could-?"**

"Of course he won't. He's not understanding enough to do something like that," said Lily.

**Fudge was looking uncomfortable.**

**"Ah," he said. "No, no, I'm very sorry, Harry, but as I'm not your parent or guardian-"**

**"But you're the Minister of Magic," said Harry eagerly. "If you gave me permission-"**

**"No, I'm sorry, Harry, but rules are rules," said Fudge flatly. "Perhaps you'll be able to visit Hogsmeade next year."**

**"In fact, I think it's best if you don't……yes……well, I'll be off. Enjoy your stay, Harry."**

**And with a last smile and shake of Harry's hand, Fudge left the room. Tom now moved forward, beaming at Harry.**

**"If you'll follow me, Mr. Potter," he said, "I've already taken your things up……"**

**Harry followed Tom up a handsome wooden staircase to a door with a brass number eleven on it, which Tom unlocked and opened for him.**

**Inside was a very comfortable-looking bed, some highly polished oak furniture, a cheerfully crackling fire and, perched on top of the wardrobe-**

**"Hedwig!" Harry gasped.**

**The snowy owl clicked her beak and fluttered down onto Harry's arm.**

"Aw, he has an owl!" Lily and Sirius said together. They realized what the had just done and looked at each other awkward for a moment then turned away.

"Very smart owl you've got there," chuckled Tom. "Arrived about five minutes after you did. If there's anything you need, Mr. Potter, don't hesitate to ask."

He gave another bow and left.

"Bowing to my son? That's bloody awesome!" James said grinning from ear to ear.

**Harry sat on his bed for a long time, absentmindedly stroking Hedwig. The sky outside the window was changing rapidly from deep, velvety blue to cold, steely gray and then, slowly, to pink shot with gold. Harry could hardly believe that he'd left Privet Drive only a few hours ago, that he wasn't expelled, and that he was now facing two completely Dursley-free weeks.**

"No Dursley's. There's a bright side to this chapter after all." Remus said smiling.

**"It's been a very weird night, Hedwig," he yawned.**

**And without even removing his glasses, he slumped back onto his pillows and fell asleep.**

"Yay! We finished Chapter three!" Sirius exclaimed while hopping up and down. " Now can we finally go to lunch?" Remus asked them. "Yes," replied Lily. "I think it would be best if Hermione and Ron visited Dumbledore though." Lily said nodding towards them. "Al right, to the castle." Sirius said getting up and taking one last look across the grounds.

A/N: Sorry this chapter isn't really funny. Im not much of writing comedies, so whatever! Please review if you take the time to read this!

Much love, Lex.

P.S.A/N: I do not own the wheels on the bus go round and round. I know you're shocked!

c)1992, Adapted by Judy and David Gershon (SOCAN)


	4. The Leaky Cauldron

_**Disclaimer: Trust me, If I owned Harry Potter I sure as hell wouldn't be writing this, now would I?**_

_**A/N: I hope all of you are delighted with the new chapter, I'm unbelievabley sorry that it has taken so long to update, it's just that I have had many problems this past year. I am happy(sort of) to announce that I have mono, which means I will be taking a sabbatical from school, allowing me to spend more time writing this fanfic as well as my others. Please take the time to read as well as review my other stories, it would truly make me happy. Oh, and from now on I will be putting the songs I listened to during the time I wrote this, please take the time to listen to a few of these songs.**_

The gang, the Ravenclaw girls, Hermione, and Ron made their way into the school. They were all laughing, screaming with joy, and speaking with a tone of abundant happiness. They parted ways once reaching the great hall Lily and the marauders sitting at the Gryffindor table, the Ravenclaws sitting at their table, while Hermione and Ron walked off to Dumbledore's office.

"What do you suppose Dumbledore will say?" Ron asked as he scratched his arm.

"How am I to know?" Hermione replied, looking rather pale. She was tired, and a bit puzzled with the situation. It was rare for her to be in a predicament, and have no idea of what was happening. It was obvious she was concerned about this matter; she kept pulling on her hair, which is what she constantly did when she was thinking in deep thoughts.

"I donno, it's you. You always know everything," Ron exclaimed to her.

"Ron I don't know what he will say, I'm sure we will find out soon enough," Hermione told him. They walked a bit farther down the hallway then turned right at the painting of Godric Gryffindor. Ron and Hermione walked past several more paintings then stopped in front of the statue that guarded the office. "Fizzing Whizbees," exclaimed Hermione as she guessed at Dumbledore's password.

"Butter beer, lemon drops, socks," Ron said anxiously. He looked over to Hermione who was staring at him oddly. "What are you looking at?"

"Socks?" asked Hermione.

"Yeah, well he enjoys his socks, leave the man alone." Ron shook his head violently as if Hermione was crazy. Hermione just shrugged and sighed.

"Bertie botts," Hermione said quizzically. Suddenly the statue rose and a set of stairs were formed. Ron and Hermione quickly ran up the stairs, they went straight for the doorknob, and without knocking bust through the doorway.

"Severus, you can't just..." Dumbledore looked up he was a bit startled to see two students, who he did not recognize, in his doorway. "Hello," Dumbledore spoke calmly as if he knew exactly what was going on.

"Dumbledore," gasped Hermione out of breath. "We," big gasp of breath "need" another big gasp of breath "to talk." Hermione and Ron stood their panting as Dumbledore asked Severus to leave his office. Severus got out of his seat and grimaced at Ron as he walked between them. Hermione and Ron sat down in the green plush chairs.

"I see you two are in Gryffindor," Dumbledore said acknowledging their robes. Hermione and Ron nodded in reply.

"I'm Hermione Granger," Hermione told him, while offering her tiny fingers for a hand shake, which Dumbledore returned. "And this is Ronald Weasley."

Ron reached out his hand and Dumbledore shakes his hand. "So what is the pleasure of meeting you two today?"

"Actually sir, I'm not exactly sure myself. Ron and I are from 1997 Hogwarts. I think Ron spun my time turner too many times, which cause us to end up here. At least that is the only explanation I can excogitate." Dumbledore looked at them calmly as he tapped his fingers together.

"I see," Dumbledore scratched his beard. "So you're saying that you are originally from 1997, you are attending Hogwarts, and are Gryffindors correct?" Hermione and Ron nodded in agreement. "Well, the only solution I can imagine that could fix your problem is to get a reverse time turner, which will take some time for me to acquire, you must stay in Gryffindor tower until then. Which year are you in?"

"We're both in sixth," Ron informed him.

"Then you will attend the classes with the other sixth years, so you maintain your studies. While doing so I will be locating a reverse time turner, and I will inform you the second I become in reach of the turner. Now, we are currently having lunch in the cafeteria. You will start your classes in two days, which will be Monday. Please be prepared." Dumbledore nodded and Hermione and Ron resigned from the comfortable chairs. "Goodbye Ms.Granger, Mr.Weasley."

Hermione and Ron slowly trudged down the stairs and out into the familiar hallway. They made a left turn at the painting of Godric Gryffindor, and slowly made their journey to the Great Hall. Neither one had much of an appetite; they were concerned on how they were going to manage traveling back to their time period. They were worried about Harry, and how he would react when he found them to be missing. Soon enough the pair found themselves standing outside of the Great Hall.

People were flooding out of the Hall, including the marauders. Hermione and Ron ran to catch up with them. "Sirius!" Hermione screamed trying to gain his attention. Sirius spun around to find Hermione and Ron standing behind them a couple feet back.

"Hurry up, you don't want to miss the next chapter do you?" Remus replied with a grin, gazing at Hermione. They quickly caught up with them, as they made their way outside resuming their earlier space, as they walked Hermione informed them of what had went on in Dumbledore's office.

"Who wants to read?" Sirius exclaimed as he jumped down into the plush green grass. He quickly found a ladybug and was entranced, "Look mates!"

James glanced at Sirius to see what he was amazed with now, "A ladybug!" James squeaked as he joined Sirius on the ground playing with the minuscule insect..

"Dim-wits," sighed Lily as she sat in the grass opposite of Sirius and James. "I suppose I could read this chapter," Lily told them as she snatched the book out of Remus's hands. "This chapter is called The Leaky Cauldron. Ready?" Everyone nodded with anticipation, they were ready to find out what happened next in Harry's adventure.

**It took Harry several days to get used to his strange new freedom.**

"That's so sad." Lily said as she looked up from the book glancing adoringly at James. "I know." James replied. "I promise if I'm still alive, I'll go knock out Petunia, I swear." Sirius said while puffing out his chest as if filled with pride. "That's so sweet of you," Lily exclaimed while patting Sirius's hand. "Please resume reading," Remus asked kindly to Lily. She quickly picked up where she had left off.

**Never before had he been able to get up whenever he wanted or eat whatever he fancied.**

"Stupid Petunia," muttered Sirius underneath his breath.

**He could even go wherever he pleased, as long as it was in Diagon Alley, and as this long cobbled street was packed with the most  
fascinating wizarding shops in the world, Harry felt no desire to break his word to Fudge and stray back into the Muggle world. **

"At least our boy has some good sense in him, not wanting to go back to the muggle world," announced James.

"Of course he has good sense James, he is our boy after all," Lily told him.

**Harry ate breakfast each morning in the Leaky Cauldron, where he liked watching the other guests: funny little witches from the country,**

Sirius giggled at the thought of stout little witches. He always wanted to poke one in the stomach and see if they gave a teeny-weensy giggle.

**up for a day's shopping; venerable-looking wizards arguing over the latest article in Transfiguration Today; wild-looking warlocks; raucous dwarfs; and once, what looked suspiciously like a hag, who ordered a plate of raw liver from behind a thick woolen balaclava. After breakfast Harry would go out into the backyard, take out his wand, tap the third brick from the left above the trash bit, and stand back as the archway into Diagon Alley opened in the wall. Harry spent the long sunny days exploring the shops and eating under the brightly colored umbrellas outside cafes,**

"Ooh!" Sirius yelled catching everyone's attention. "I love umbrellas, their so pretty. I like to spin them around in circles, and"

"Mate, you need to shut up." James exclaimed giving him a quizzical look.

**where his fellow diners were showing one another their purchases ( " it , s a lunascope, old boy -- no more messing around with moon charts, see?") or else discussing the case of Sirius Black**

"Hey! There is no case, I didn't do anything, I swear, I'm innocent, Okay maybe I used Lily's razor once but that's it," yelled Sirius. Everyone stared at Sirius, with a look of concern. "What?" asked Sirius. Lily shook her head then resumed to her reading.

**("Personally, I won't let any of the children out alone until he's back in Azkaban").**

"Humph," Sirius said as he folded his arms across his chest.

**Harry didn't have to do his homework under the blankets by flashlight anymore; now he could sit in the bright sunshine outside Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor, finishing all his essays with occasional help from Florean Fortescue himself, who, apart from knowing a great deal about medieval witch burnings, gave Harry free sundaes every half an hour. **

"Yummy, ice cream!" James and Sirius said together.

**  
Once Harry had refilled his money bag with gold Galleons, silver Sickles, and bronze Knuts from his vault at Gringotts, he had to exercise a lot of self-control not to spend the whole lot at once. He had to keep reminding himself that he had five years to go at Hogwarts, and how it would feel to ask the Dursleys for money for spell books, **

"See, if your sister wasn't such a bitch we wouldn't have this problem," exclaimed James. Lily looked up from the book and stared coldly at James.

"Maybe if you weren't such a dim-wit we would have more money in the bank for him, so he would be prepared," said Lily.

**To stop himself from buying a handsome set of solid gold Gobstones (a wizarding game rather like marbles, in which the stones squirt a nasty-smelling liquid into the other player's face when they lose a point). **

Sirius and James started laughing, that was their favorite game.

**He was sorely tempted, too, by the perfect, moving model of the galaxy in a large glass ball, which would have meant he never had to take another Astronomy lesson. **

"I wish I had one of those," Remus exclaimed.  
**But the thing that tested Harry's resolution most appeared in his favorite shop, Quality Quidditch Supplies, **

"Ooh, I want one! I want one! I want one! I want one!" Sirius said jumping up and down, while prancing around in circles. "I want one." Sirius sang in a sing-song voice.

"Do you even know what it is that you want?" Lily asked him.

Sirius looked up at her giving her puppy eyes, "I don't care, I want one!" He stood back up and jumped around in circles another minute before Hermione pulled him down, sitting him next to her.

"Okay I'm just going to, you know, start reading again, okay Sirius?" stated Lily. Sirius nodded in excitement.

**A week after he'd arrived at the Leaky Cauldron. Curious to know what the crowd in the shop was staring at, Harry edged his way inside and squeezed in among the excited witches and wizards until he glimpsed a newly erected podium, on which was mounted the most magnificent broom he had ever seen in his life." Just come out -- prototype --" a square-jawed wizard was telling his  
companion. "It's the fastest broom in the world, **

"Ooh! I want one! I want one! I want one! I want one!" James and Sirius sang together, dancing around in circles together. They continued doing so for five minutes, sometimes exclaiming "I'm going to have the fastest broom in the world!" rather than "I want one!" Eventually they calmed down enough for Lily to start reading again.

**Isn't it, Dad?" squeaked a boy younger than Harry, who was swinging off his father's arm.** **"Irish International Side's Just put in an order for seven of these beauties!" the proprietor of the shop told the crowd. "And they're favorites for the World Cup!"**

Sirius and James were now shivering from excitement.  
**A large witch in front of Harry moved, and he was able to read the sign next to the broom: THE FIREBOLT**

"Ooh!"  
**THIS STATE-OF-THE-ART RACING BROOM SPORTS A STREAM-LINED,**

"Ahh"**  
SUPERFINE HANDLE OF ASH, TREATED WITH A DIAMOND-HARD POLISH AND**

"Ahh-Ooh"  
**HAND- NUMBERED WITH ITS OWN REGISTRATION NUMBER. EACH INDIVIDUALLY**

"Ooh-Ahh!"  
**SELECTED BIRCH TWIG IN THE BROOMTAIL HAS BEEN HONED TO AERODYNAMIC**

"Need," gasp of breathe "One," another gasp of breath "Now!"  
**PERFECTION, GIVING THE FIREBOLT UNSURPASSABLE BALANCE AND PINPOINT PRECISION. THE FIREBOLT HAS AN ACCELERATION OF 150 MILES AN HOUR IN TEN SECONDS AND INCORPORATES AN UNBREAKABLE BRAKING CHARM.**

"Ohh!

**PRICE ON REQUEST. **

"Ugh" retorted James and Sirius.

**Price on request... Harry didn't like to think how much gold the Firebolt would cost. **

"Neither do I," James stated. "Please Lily, you're the best mommy ever!" Sirius said giving her the ultimate puppy eyes, while on his knees with his hands together. "No! Neither of you can have one, because it doesn't exist yet," said Lily.

**He had never wanted anything as much in his whole life -- but he had never lost a Quidditch match on his Nimbus Two Thousand, **

"James he sounds like a chip off the old block, 'eh?" exclaimed Remus.

"Harry adores quidditch," stated Hermione.

**And what was the point in emptying his Gringotts vault for the Firebolt, when he had a very good broom already? Harry didn't ask for the price, but he returned, almost every day after that, just to look at the Firebolt. There were, however, things that Harry needed to buy. He went to the Apothecary to replenish his store of potions ingredients, and as his school robes were now several inches too short in the arm and leg, he visited Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions and bought new ones. Most important of all, he had to buy his new schoolbooks, which would include those for his two new subjects, Care of Magical Creatures and Divination. Harry got a surprise as he looked in at the bookshop window. Instead of the usual display of gold- embossed spell books the size of paving slabs, there was a large iron cage behind the glass that held about a hundred copies of The Monster Book of Monsters. Torn pages were flying everywhere as the books grappled with each other, locked together in furious wrestling matches and snapping aggressively.**

"Who would assign such a book?" asked Lily.

"Hagrid," exclaimed Ron smirking.

"Of course," said Lily.

**Harry pulled his booklist out of his pocket and consulted it for the first time. The Monster Book of Monsters was listed as the required book for Care of Magical Creatures. Now Harry understood why Hagrid had said it would come in useful. **

"Thank you, I thought Hagrid was trying to kill Harry for a bit," stated Lily with a wave of relief.

**He felt relieved; he had been wondering whether Hagrid wanted help with some terrifying new pet.**

"That would be Hagrid alright," exclaimed Remus.

**As Harry entered Flourish and Blotts, the manager came hurrying toward  
him. "Hogwarts?" he said abruptly. "Come to get your new books?" "Yes," said Harry, "I need --" "Get out of the way," said the manager impatiently, brushing Harry  
aside.**

"Geese, he's rude," Sirius stated dumbfounded. "I want to beat him up," Sirius was in a bouncy mood, and felt oddly random.

**He drew on a pair of very thick gloves, picked up a large, knobbly walking stick, and proceeded toward the door of the Monster Books' cage. "Hang on," said Harry quickly, "I've already got one of those." "Have you?" A look of enormous relief spread over the manager's face.**

"Seems as if no one fancied these books," said Remus.

"No one except Hagrid," Hermione told him.

**"Thank heavens for that. I've been bitten five times already this morning --" **

"Ouch, you okay mate?" Sirius asked the manager.

"You dummy it's in the story," said James as he smacked him in the head.

**A loud ripping noise rent the air; two of the Monster Books had seized a third and were pulling it apart. **

"Don't think he ever ordered those again," exclaimed Remus.

**"Stop it! Stop it!" cried the manager, **

"Awe, he's crying, someone should give him a tissue," said Sirius.

"Don't bother," Lily said as James raised his hand to Sirius's head.

**Poking the walking stick through the bars and knocking the books apart. "I'm never stocking them again, never! It's been bedlam! I thought we'd seen the worst when we bought two hundred copies of the Invisible Book of Invisibility -cost a fortune, and we never found them... **

"Dumbass," said James.

**Well... is there anything else I can help you with?" "Yes," said Harry, looking down his booklist, "I need Unfogging the Future by Cassandra Vablatsky." **

Ron shuddered at the thought of divination, while Hermione clinched the grass with her fingers.

**"Ah, starting Divination, are you?" said the manager, stripping off his gloves and leading Harry into the back of the shop, where there was a corner devoted to fortune-telling. A small table was stacked with volumes such as Predicting the Unpredictable: Insulate Yourself Against Shocks and Broken Balls: When Fortunes Turn Foul. "Here you are,' said the manager, who had climbed a set of steps to take down a thick, black- bound book. "Unfogging the Future. Very good guide to all your basic fortune-telling methods - palmistry, crystal balls, bird entrails. But Harry wasn't listening. His eyes had fallen on another book, which was among a display on a small table: Death Omens.- What to Do When You Know the Worst Is Coming.**

"I know what to do when the worst is coming," stated Sirius.

"What?" asked Hermione.

"Eat pickles!" Sirius grinned.

"Mmkay then," Lily said giving him a puzzled look.

**"Oh, I wouldn't read that if I were you," said the manager lightly, looking to see what Harry was staring at. "You'll start seeing death omens everywhere. It's enough to frighten anyone to death. "But Harry continued to stare at the front cover of the book; it showed a black dog large as a bear, with gleaming eyes. It looked oddly familiar... The manager pressed Unfogging the Future into Harry's hands. "Anything else?" he said. "Yes," said Harry, tearing his eyes away from the dogs and dazedly consulting his booklist. "Err -- I need Intermediate Transfiguration and The Standard Book of Spells, Grade Three." Harry emerged from Flourish and Blotts ten minutes later with his new books under his arms and made his way back to the Leaky Cauldron, hardly noticing where he was going and bumping into several people. He tramped up the stairs to his room, went inside, and tipped his books onto his bed. Somebody had been in to tidy; the windows were open and sun was pouring inside. **

"See that is the perfect time to spin umbrellas, because it's all sunny and it's fun to spin umbrellas," stated Sirius.

"Yeah," said James.

**Harry could hear the buses **

"Buses!" James and Sirius squealed! "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round,"

"Not this again," Hermione said putting her hands over their mouths.

**Rolling by in the unseen Muggle street behind him and the sound of the invisible crowd below in Diagon Alley. He caught sight of himself in the mirror over the basin. "It can't have been a death omen," he told his reflection defiantly. "I was panicking when I saw that thing in Magnolia Crescent... It was probably just a stray dog..."**

"Sure it was," said Remus grinning at James and Sirius.

**He raised his hand automatically and tried to make his hair lie flat **

"Cough-James-Cough" said Sirius.

"Shut up," exclaimed James.

**"You're fighting a losing battle there, dear," said his mirror in a wheezy voice.**

"Ha-ha! Even the mirror knows that Potter's hair can't lay down flat, ahaha!" Sirius said in a fit of giggles.

**As the days slipped by, Harry started looking wherever he went for a sign of Ron or Hermione.**

"Awe, he loves you two," stated Sirius.

**Plenty of Hogwarts students were arriving in Diagon Alley now, with the start of term so near. Harry met Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas, his fellow Gryffindors, in Quality Quidditch Supplies, where they too were ogling the Firebolt; he also ran into the real Neville Longbottom,**

"Harry Potter is a naughty boy, uhuh," said Sirius.

**A round-faced, forgetful boy, outside Flourish and Blotts. Harry didn't stop to chat; Neville appeared to have mislaid his booklist and was being told off by his very formidable-looking grandmother. Harry hoped she never found out that he'd pretended to be Neville while on the run from the Ministry of Magic.**

"Naughty, naughty, he's getting coal for Christmas," exclaimed Sirius.

**Harry woke on the last day of the holidays, thinking that he would at least meet Ron and Hermione tomorrow, on the Hogwarts Express. He got up, dressed, went for a last look at the Firebolt, and was just wondering where he'd have lunch, when someone yelled his name and he turned. "Harry! HARRY!" They were there, both of them, sitting outside Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor -- Ron looking incredibly freckly,**

"Ha-ha, you're incredibly freckly!" Sirius was sent into another fit of giggles.

"Shut up!" Ron said as he hit Sirius in the forehead.

"Hey! Why does everyone do that?" asked Sirius

"Because you're dumb," said James.

**Hermione very brown,**

"Ahah, your-"

"Don't even," threatened Hermione causing Sirius to pout.

**Both waving frantically at him. "Finally!" said Ron, grinning at Harry as he sat down. "We went to the Leaky Cauldron, but they said you'd left, and we went to Flourish and Blotts, and Madam Malkin's, and --" "I got all my school stuff last week," Harry explained. "And how come you knew I'm staying at the Leaky Cauldron?" "Dad," said Ron simply. Mr. Weasley, who worked at the Ministry of Magic, would of course have heard the whole story of what had happened to Aunt Marge. "Did you really blow up your aunt, Harry?" **

All the marauders started laughing, while Hermione folded her arms across her chest in a very hostile manner.

**said Hermione in a very serious voice. **

"Come on Hermione, let's have some fun," said Sirius with a look of anticipation.

"How about" she stopped to think "No," Hermione said. Sirius gave her puppy eyes, yet Hermione stood her ground.  
**I didn't mean to," said Harry, while Ron roared with laughter.**

"See Ron knows how to have fun," stated Sirius, Hermione gave him yet again another threatening look. Ron snorted, causing Hermione to also give him a look of death.

**"I just -- lost control."**

"Ha-ha," cried Sirius.**  
"It's not funny, Ron," said Hermione sharply. **

"Party pooper," muttered Sirius.

**"Honestly, I'm amazed Harry wasn't expelled."**

"So am I," announced Lily.**  
"So am I," admitted Harry.**

"Freaky," stated James.

**"Forget expelled, I thought I was going to be arrested."**

"Eh, me too," said James, chuckling.

**He looked at Ron. "Your dad doesn't know why Fudge let me off, does he?"**

"Because he finally acquired a brain," stated Remus.

**"Probably 'cause it's you, isn't it?" shrugged Ron, still chuckling. "Famous Harry Potter and all that. I'd hate to see what the Ministry'd do to me if I blew up an aunt. Mind you, they'd have to dig me up first, because Mum would've killed me."**

"Sounds like my mum," said Sirius nodding at Ron.

**"Anyway, you can ask Dad yourself this evening. We're staying at the Leaky Cauldron tonight too! So you can come to King's Cross with us tomorrow! Hermione's there as well!" Hermione nodded, beaming. "Mum and Dad dropped me off this morning with all my Hogwarts things." "Excellent!" said Harry happily. "So, have you got all your new books and stuff?" "Look at this," said Ron, pulling a long thin box out of a bag and opening it. "Brand-new wand. Fourteen inches, willow, containing one unicorn tail-hair. And we've got all our books --" He pointed at a large bag under his chair. "What about those Monster Books, eh? The assistant nearly cried when we said we wanted two." "What's all that, Hermione?" Harry asked, pointing at not one but three bulging bags in the chair next to her. "Well, I'm taking more new subjects than you, aren't I?" said Hermione.**

"Overachiever," muttered Sirius.

"Pardon?" asked Hermione.

"Oh nothing, la di da di da," said Sirius.**  
"Those are my books for Arithmancy, Care of Magical Creatures,**

"Cough-Overachiever-Cough," said Sirius. Hermione sarcastically grinned at him.**  
Divination, the Study of Ancient Runes, Muggle Studies --"**

"Ugh, muggle studies," uttered James. Lily reached over and smacked him in the back of his head. "Ow, what was that for?" asked James, as Lily shook her head and sighed.  
**"What are you doing Muggle Studies for?" said Ron, rolling his eyes at  
Harry. "You're Muggle- born! Your mum and dad are Muggles! You already  
know all about Muggles!" **

"Dumbass," stated James, this time not only did Lily smack him in the back of the head so did Hermione.**  
"But it'll be fascinating to study them from the wizarding point of  
view," said Hermione earnestly.**

"Hey that's the same thing you said Lily!" James stated remembering a past conversation.**  
"Are you planning to eat or sleep at all this year, Hermione?" asked Harry. Hermione ignored them. "I've still got ten Galleons," she said, checking her purse. "It's my birthday in September, and Mum and Dad gave me some money to get myself an early birthday present." "How about a nice book?" said Ron innocently. **"**No, I don't think so," said Hermione composedly. "I really want an owl. I mean, Harry's got Hedwig and you've got Errol --" "I haven't," said Ron. "Errol's a family owl. All I've got is Scabbers." He pulled his pet rat out of his pocket. "And I want to get him checked over," he added, placing Scabbers on the table in front of them. "I don't think Egypt agreed with him." Scabbers was looking thinner than usual, and there was a definite droop to his whiskers.**

"Odd," stated Remus.**  
"There's a magical creature shop just over there," said Harry, who knew Diagon Alley very well by now. "You could see if they've got anything for Scabbers, and Hermione can get her owl," So they paid for their ice cream and crossed the street to the Magical Menagerie. There wasn't much room inside. Every inch of wall was hidden by cages. It was smelly **

"Ewe," Sirius exclaimed.

**And very noisy because the occupants of these cages were all squeaking, squawking, jabbering, or hissing. The witch behind the counter was already advising a wizard on the care of double-ended newts, so Harry, Ron, and Hermione waited, examining the cages. A pair of enormous purple toads**

"Gross," exclaimed Lily.

**Sat gulping wetly and feasting on dead blowflies. A gigantic tortoise with a jewel-encrusted shell was glittering near the window. Poisonous orange snails were oozing slowly up the side of their glass tank, **

"Ick," said James.

**And a fat white rabbit kept changing into a silk top hat and back again with a loud popping noise. **

Giggles came out of Sirius's mouth.

**Then there were cats of every color, a noisy cage of ravens, a basket of funny custard-colored furballs that were humming loudly, and on the counter, a vast cage of sleek black rats that were playing some sort of skipping game using their long, bald tails. The double-ended newt wizard left, and Ron approached the counter. "It's my rat," he told the witch. "He been a bit off-color ever since I brought him back from Egypt." "Bang him on the counter," **

"That's animal cruelty, poor thing," said Lily.

"Bang him hard," stated Ron.

"Um mate you know your talking to yourself righ'?" Sirius asked Ron. Ron sat and thought about it for a minute and he realized that he was.

**said the witch, pulling a pair of heavy black spectacles out of her pocket. Ron lifted Scabbers out of his inside pocket and placed him next to the cage of his fellow rats, who stopped their skipping tricks and scuffled to the wire for a better took. Like nearly everything Ron owned, Scabbers the rat was secondhand (he had once belonged to Ron's brother Percy) and a bit battered. Next to the glossy rats in the cage, he looked especially woebegone. "Hm," said the witch, picking up Scabbers. "How old is this rat?"**

"Ancient," muttered Ron.**  
"Donno," said Ron. "Quite old. He used to belong to my brother." "What powers does he have?" said the witch, examining Scabbers closely. "Err --" The truth was that Scabbers had never shown the faintest trace of interesting powers. **

"Interesting," muttered Remus in deep thought.

**The witch's' eyes moved from Scabbers's tattered left ear to his front paw, which had a toe missing, and tutted loudly. "He's been through the mill, this one," she said. "He was like that when Percy gave him to me," said Ron defensively. "An ordinary common or garden rat like this can't be expected to live longer than three years or so," said the witch.**

"Very odd," stated Remus.

**"Now, if you were looking for something a bit more hard-wearing, you might like one of these --" She indicated the black rats, who promptly started skipping again. Ron muttered, "Show-offs." "Well, if you don't want a replacement, you can try this rat tonic," said the witch, reaching under the counter and bringing out a small red bottle. "Okay," said Ron. "How much -- OUCH!" Ron buckled as something huge and orange came soaring from the top of the highest cage, landed on his head, **

"Ha-ha you have a kitty on your head!" Sirius exclaimed through gasps of breath between his loud roaring laughter.

"Hilarious," muttered Ron.

**And then propelled itself, spitting madly, at Scabbers. "NO, CROOKSHANKS, NO!" cried the witch, but Scabbers, shot from between her hands like a bar of soap, landed splay-legged on the floor, and then scampered for the door. "Scabbers!" Ron shouted, racing out of the shop after him; Harry followed. It took them nearly ten minutes to catch Scabbers, who had taken refuge under a wastepaper bin outside Quality Quidditch Supplies. Ron stuffed the trembling rat back into his pocket and straightened up, massaging his head. "What was that?" "It was either a very big cat or quite a small tiger," said Harry. "Where's Hermione?" "Probably getting her owl." They made their way back up the crowded street to the Magical Menagerie. As they reached it, Hermione came out, but she wasn't carrying an owl. Her arms were clamped tightly around the enormous ginger cat.**

"Eh, you bought that hideous thing?" asked Sirius to Hermione.

"Hey, I find Crooshanks to be quite lovely," stated Hermione.

"Only a face a mother could love," uttered Sirius.

**"You bought that monster?" said Ron, his mouth hanging open. "He's gorgeous, isn't he?" said Hermione, glowing. That was a matter of opinion, thought Harry. **

"See Harry agrees with me," exclaimed Sirius.

**The cat's ginger fur was thick and fluffy, but it was definitely a bit bowlegged and its face looked grumpy and oddly squashed, as though it had run headlong into a brick wall. Now that Scabbers was out of sight, however, the cat was purring contentedly in Hermione's arms. "Hermione, that thing nearly scalped me!" said Ron. "He didn't mean to, did you, Crookshanks?" said Hermione. "And what about Scabbers?" said Ron, pointing at the lump in his chest pocket. "He needs rest and relaxation! How's he going to get it with that thing around?" "That reminds me, you forgot your rat tonic," said Hermione, slapping the small red bottle into Ron's hand. "And stop worrying, Crookshanks will be sleeping in my dormitory and Scabbers in yours, what's the problem? Poor Crookshanks, that witch said he'd been in there for ages; no one wanted him." **

"Gee, I wonder why," muttered Ron.**  
They found Mr. Weasley sitting in the bar, reading the Daily prophet. "Harry!" he said, smiling as he looked up. "How are you?" "Fine, thanks," said Harry as he, Ron, and Hermione joined Mr. Weasley with their shopping. Mr. Weasley put down his paper, and Harry saw the now familiar picture of Sirius Black staring up at him.**

"Idiots, I better look good in that picture or I'm suing," uttered Sirius.**  
"They still haven't caught him, then?" he asked.**

"What's it matter to you?" Sirius said, now extremely irritated.

"Hey! Don't talk to my son like that," exclaimed James.

"James, shut up and sit down you too Sirius," said Hermione.

"**No," said Mr. Weasley, looking extremely grave. "They've pulled us all off our regular jobs at the Ministry to try and find him, but no luck so far."**

"Good," stated Sirius.**  
"Would we get a reward if we caught him?" asked Ron.**

"I'm not some petty prize Ron," snapped Sirius.

**"It'd be good to get some more money --" **

"Yeah sure, the old fashion way, which means excluding capturing me," said Sirius.

**"Don't be ridiculous, Ron," said Mr. Weasley,**

"Glad someone has some sense," muttered Sirius.

**Who on closer inspection looked very strained. "Black's not going to be caught by a thirteen-year-old wizard."**

"I could of told you that," said Sirius.

**"It's the Azkaban guards who'll get him back, you mark my words." **

"Huh?" Sirius's jaw dropped, he could not fathom the idea of dementors after him.  
**At that moment Mrs. Weasley entered the bar, laden with shopping bags and followed by the twins, Fred and George, who were about to start their fifth year at Hogwarts; the newly elected Head Boy, Percy; **

James and Sirius snorted, "Headboys," they said as they shook their heads.

**And the Weasleys' youngest child and only girl, Ginny. Ginny, who had always been very taken with Harry, seemed even more heartily embarrassed than usual when she saw him, perhaps because he had saved her life during their previous year at Hogwarts. **

"Ooh, Harry is a hero!" Sirius jumped up and pranced in circles.

**She went very red and muttered "hello" without looking at him. **

"How cute!" exclaimed Lily.

"Psh," muttered Ron.

**Percy, however, held out his hand solemnly as though he and Harry had never met and said, "Harry. How nice to see you." **

All the marauders burst out laughing, it was clear to them that this Percy character, was a complete nut.

**"Hello, Percy," said Harry, trying not to laugh.**

"That's my boy!" exclaimed James, laughing.

**"I hope you're well?" said Percy pompously,**

"Ewe, pompously, what a weird word, ewe," stated Sirius.

**Shaking hands. It was rather like being introduced to the mayor. **

Giggles from the crowd erupted.

**"Very well, thanks --" "Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy --" **

"Aha! I like Fred," exclaimed James.

**"Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn.**

"Aha! I like George," said Sirius excitedly.

**"Absolutely spiffing."**

"Hehe" laughed James and Sirius.

**Percy scowled. **

"Aha! I don't like Percy," said Sirius.

"Me either," stated Ron.

**"That's enough, now," said Mrs. Weasley. "Mum!" said Fred as though he'd only just spotted her and seizing her hand too. "How really corking to see you --" **

"Hehe, corking..." said Sirius.

**"I said, that's enough,"**

"Boo," cried Sirius.

**said Mrs. Weasley, depositing her shopping in an empty chair. "Hello, Harry, dear. I suppose you've heard our exciting news?" She pointed to the brand-new silver badge on Percy's chest. **

"Ugh," exclaimed Ron, James, and Sirius.

**"Second Head Boy in the family!" she said, swelling with pride.**

"I hate headboys," said James.

"Guess what?" said Hermione.

"What?"

"You become a headboy next year," exclaimed Hermione, now laughing.

"Huh? Who me?" James said as he pointed at his chest. He tried to imagine a silver badge, but shuddered at the thought... "Eh, I don't think so, sorry Hermione."

**"And last," Fred muttered under his breath.**

"Hopefully," muttered Ron.

**"I don't doubt that," said Mrs. Weasley, frowning suddenly. "I notice they haven't made you two prefects." **

"What would they want to be prefects for, it would take all the fun out of life," said Sirius.

**"What do we want to be prefects for?" said George, looking revolted at the very idea. "It'd take all the fun out of life."**

Sirius giggled.

**Ginny giggled. "You want to set a better example for your sister!" snapped Mrs.Weasley. "Ginny's got other brothers to set her an example, Mother," said Percy loftily. **

"I don't like him more and more every time he opens his mouth," said James.

**"I'm going up to change for dinner..." He disappeared and George heaved a sigh. "We tried to shut him in a pyramid,"**

"Hahahahahahahah!" Sirius was rolling on the ground with laughter. "See, George is better he tried to shove that prick into a pyramid, you can't beat that James."

"You just wait," said James.

**He told Harry. "But Mum spotted us."**

"Dammnit," responded Sirius and James.

**Dinner that night was a very enjoyable affair. Tom the innkeeper put three tables together in the parlor, and the seven Weasleys, Harry, and Hermione ate their way through five delicious courses. "How're we getting to King's Cross tomorrow, Dad?" asked Fred as they dug into a sumptuous chocolate pudding. "The Ministry's providing a couple of cars," said Mr. Weasley. Everyone looked up at him. "Why?" said Percy curiously.**

"Stupid idiot he thinks it's for him, because he is headboy," stated Sirius.

**"It's because of you, Perce," said George seriously. "And there'll be little flags on the hoods, with HB on them" **

"I like were this is going," said Sirius.

**"-- for Humongous Bighead," said Fred. **

"Point for Fred," exclaimed James while laughing.

**Everyone except Percy and Mrs. Weasley snorted into their pudding.**

Everyone in the group snorted with them.

**"Why are the Ministry providing cars, Father?" Percy asked again, in a  
dignified voice.**

"Trying to regain a sense of pride, eh?" asked Remus.**  
"Well, as we haven't got one anymore," said Mr. Weasley,**

Ron snorted, remembering the time when he and Harry drove the flying car into the whomping willow.**  
"-- and as I work there, they're doing me a favor --" His voice was casual, but Harry couldn't help noticing that Mr.Weasley's ears had gone red, just like Ron's did when he was under pressure.**

"Oh, Ron your ears turn red under pressure? I never knew that," said Hermione.

"Shut up," said Ron.**  
"Good thing, too," said Mrs. Weasley briskly. "Do you realize how much luggage you've all got between you? A nice sight you'd be on the Muggle  
Underground... You are all packed, aren't you?" "Ron hasn't put all his new things in his trunk yet," said Percy, in along-suffering voice. "He's dumped them on my bed."   
**"Stupid tattle tale," exclaimed Sirius.**  
"You'd better go and pack properly, Ron, because we won't have much time in the morning," Mrs. Weasley called down the table. Ron scowled at  
Percy. After dinner everyone felt very full and sleepy. One by one they made their way upstairs to their rooms to check their things for the next day. Ron and Percy were next door to Harry. He had just closed and locked his own trunk when he heard angry voices through the wall, and went to see what was going on.**

"Tisk, tisk, your son is eavesdropping," Sirius took his left index finger then used his right to stroke it, showing the naughty signal.**  
The door of number twelve was ajar and Percy was shouting. "It was here, on the bedside table, I took it off for polishing" "I haven't touched it, all right?" Ron roared back. "What's up?" said Harry. "My Head Boy badge is gone," **

"Oh what a tragedy," stated James smirking.**  
said Percy, rounding on Harry.**

"I know he's not rounding on my son," said James.**  
"So's Scabbers's rat tonic," said Ron, throwing things out of his trunk to look. "I think I might've left it in the bar --" "You're not going anywhere till you've found my badge!" yelled Percy. "I'll get Scabbers's stuff, I'm packed," Harry said to Ron, and he went downstairs. Harry was halfway along the passage to the bar, which was now very dark, when he heard another pair of angry voices coming from the parlor. **

"Your son needs to go to eavesdroppers anonymous, he has an addiction," said Sirius.

**A second later, he recognized them as Mr. and Mrs. Weasleys'. He hesitated, not wanting them to know he'd heard them arguing, when the sound of his own name made him stop,**

"Now it's okay to eavesdrop," informed Sirius, nodding.

**Then move closer to the parlor door. "--makes no sense not to tell him," Mr. Weasley was saying heatedly. "Harry's got a right to know."**

"You tell 'em Mr.Weasley," said James.

**"I've tried to tell Fudge, but he insists on treating Harry like a child." **

"I take that back, Fudge has not acquired a brain," said Remus.

**"He's thirteen years old and --" "Arthur, the truth would terrify him!" said Mrs. Weasley shrilly. "Do you really want to send Harry back to school with that hanging over him? For heaven's sake, he's happy not knowing!"**

"Don't torture the boy, spit it out already," said Sirius.**  
"I don't want to make him miserable, I want to put him on his guard!" retorted Mr. Weasley.**

"On guard for what?" asked James quizzically.

**"You know what Harry and Ron are like, wandering off by themselves -- they've ended up in the Forbidden Forest twice! But Harry mustn't do that this year! When I think what could have happened to him that night he ran away from home! If the Knight Bus hadn't picked him up, I'm prepared to bet he would have been dead before the Ministry found him."**

"What!" exclaimed James and Lily.**  
"But he's not dead, he's fine, so what's the point" "Molly, they say Sirius Black's mad, **

"Hey! I resent that," stated Sirius.

**And maybe he is, **

"I resent that even more," said Sirius, his ego crushed.

**But he was clever enough to escape from Azkaban, and that's supposed to be impossible.**

"Well, atleast I have talent," said Sirius.

**It's been three weeks, and no one's seen hide nor hair of him, and I don't care what Fudge keeps telling the Daily Prophet, we're no nearer catching Black than inventing self-spelling wands. The only thing we know for sure is what Black's after-" **

"What am I after?" asked Sirius gesturing towards Hermione and Ron.

"I'm not telling," Ron stated.

"Nor am I," said Hermione.

"Tell me!" cried Sirius.

**"But Harry will be perfectly safe at Hogwarts."**

"Why wouldn't he?" exclaimed James.

**We thought Azkaban was perfectly safe.**

"It is," said Sirius.

**If Black can break out of Azkaban,**

"Of course I can, I mean come on, were talking about me," said Sirius.

**He can break into Hogwarts."**

"Why would I want to do that?" asked Sirius.

**"But no one's really sure that Black's after Harry."**

"What? I'm sorry I misunderstood," Sirius's face was pale, his eyes darting from the grass to red James's face. "Lily would you please read that line again I thought you said that Sirius was after my son." Everyone was quiet, Hermione was looking at the grass pretended to be amused, Ron searching for something over by the lake. Remus taking off his glasses and cleaning them, Lily running her fingers through the knots in her hair. Sirius just sat there dumbfounded, James was angry, he was outraged.

"How could you do this to him? No, better yet how could you do this to me, were supposed to be best mates." James's eyes were bloodshot, his fingers were twitching.

"James ol' buddy, ol' pal. You know it said no one was 'really sure' that I was after Harry," said Sirius calmly.

"Trust me James, you don't want to kill Sirius," said Hermione.

"And why is that?" asked James.

"Take my word for it, you would regret it if you killed him," said Hermione.

"Is this true?" James asked nodding towards Ron.

"Yes," whispered Ron.

"I'm just going to continue on," said Lily slowly.**  
There was a thud on wood, and Harry was sure Mr. Weasley had banged his fist on the table. "Molly, how many times do I have to tell you? They didn't report it in the press because Fudge wanted it kept quiet, but Fudge went out to Azkaban the night Black escaped. The guards told Fudge that Blacks been talking in his sleep for a while now. Always the same words: 'He's at Hogwarts... he's at Hogwarts.' Black is deranged, Molly, and he wants Harry dead. "**

James fingers clinched the grass; he ripped a handful out and threw it at Sirius.

**"If you ask me, he thinks murdering Harry will bring You-Know-Who back to power. Black lost everything the night Harry stopped You- Know-Who, and he's had twelve years alone in Azkaban to brood on that..."   
**Sirius sighed, he did not fancy the thought of spending twelve year sin Azkaban.**  
There was a silence. Harry leaned still closer to the door, desperate to hear more.  
**It was so quiet you could hear crickets in the distance.**  
"Well, Arthur, you must do what you think is right. But you're forgetting Albus Dumbledore. I don't think anything could hurt Harry at Hogwarts while Dumbledore's headmaster. I suppose he knows about all this?"**

"Of course," said Remus.**  
"Of course he knows. We had to ask him if he minds the Azkaban guards  
stationing themselves around the entrances to the school grounds. He  
wasn't happy about it, but he agreed."**

"He actually agreed?" asked Remus. He looked to Hermione for an answer, and she nodded in reply.**  
"Not happy? Why shouldn't he be happy, if they're there to catch Black?"  
**"Is it not obvious?" asked Lily.**  
"Dumbledore isn't fond of the Azkaban guards,"**

"Why should he be fond of them?" asked Remus.

**said Mr. Weasley heavily. "Nor am I, if it comes to that... but when you're dealing with a wizard  
like Black, you sometimes have to join forces with those you'd rather avoid."**

"Humph" muttered Sirius.****

"If they save Harry then I will never say another word against them," said Mr. Weasley wearily.

"Yeah," muttered James.

**"It's late, Molly, we'd better go up..." Harry heard chairs move. As quietly as he could, he hurried down the passage to the bar and out of sight. The parlor door opened, and a few seconds later footsteps told him that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were climbing the stairs. The bottle of rat tonic was lying under the table they had sat at earlier. Harry waited until he heard Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's bedroom door close, then headed back upstairs with the bottle. Fred and George were crouching in the shadows on the landing, heaving with laughter as they listened to Percy dismantling his and Ron's room in search of his badge. "We've got it," Fred whispered to Harry. "We've been improving it." The badge now read Bighead Boy.**

James and Sirius snorted, they were to upset to laugh.**  
Harry forced a laugh, went to give Ron the rat tonic, then shut himself in his room and lay down on his bed. So Sirius Black was after him.  
**"Not this again," sighed Remus.**  
This explained everything. Fudge had been lenient with him because he was so relieved to find him alive. He'd made Harry promise to stay in Diagon Alley where there were plenty of wizards to keep an eye on him. And he was sending two Ministry cars to take them all to the station tomorrow, so that the Weasleys could look after Harry until he was on the train.**

"Those are some pushy people," stated Sirius.**  
Harry lay listening to the muffled shouting next door and wondered why he didn't feel more scared. Sirius Black had murdered thirteen people  
with one curse; **

"Killer," muttered James.

"What was that?" asked Sirius angrily.

"You heard me," snapped James.

"Scared or something, I supposedly killed thirteen people, what's stopping me from killing you?" Sirius said seriously.

"Killer," said James.

"Okay sure, but when I end up going on my killing spree I'll remember to make you number one," said Sirius,

"That's enough," yelled Hermione "Apologize!"

"No," They both said together. Which caused them to stop and stare at each other for a moment then they returned their gaze on Hermione.

"Now!" Hermione was yelling and threatened to slam their heads together if they didn't apologize."

"He has to apologize first," stated James.

"No, he has to, he called me a killer," said Sirius.

"He said he was going to kill me, so he should have to apologize first," stated James.

"Okay this is what were going to do, you both are going to apologize on the count of three, agreed?" Hermione asked them.

"Yeah," muttered Sirius.

"Whatever," stated James.

"One, two," long pause "three." Dead silence lingered in the air. "Umm I think you two forgot to apologize, now before I take matters into my own hands, count of three, again. One, two, three."

"I'm sorry," they said weakly to one another.

"Glad that is settled then," Hermione said resuming her position in the grass "Go on."

**Mr. and Mrs, Weasley obviously thought Harry would be panic-stricken if he knew the truth. But Harry happened to agree wholeheartedly with Mrs. Weasley that the safest place on earth was wherever Albus Dumbledore happened to be. **

"Good," muttered James.

**Didn't people always say that Dumbledore was the only person Lord Voldemort had ever been afraid of? Surely Black, as Voldemort's right-hand man, would be just as frightened of him? **

"Actually I would be quite frightened by Dumblydore if I was a death-eater, but I know I wont be," stated Sirius.

**And then there were these Azkaban guards everyone kept talking about. They seemed to scare most people senseless, and if they were stationed all around the school, Black's chances of getting inside seemed very remote. No, all in all, the thing that bothered Harry most was the fact that his  
chances of visiting Hogsmeade now looked like zero.  
**"Hogsmeade, oh I love Zonko's!" exclaimed Sirius.

**Nobody would want Harry to leave the safety of the castle until Black was caught; in fact, Harry suspected his every move would be carefully watched until the danger had passed. He scowled at the dark ceiling. Did they think he couldn't look after himself? He'd escaped Lord Voldemort three times; he wasn't completely useless... Unbidden, the image of the beast in the shadows of Magnolia Crescent crossed his mind. **

"Don't say anything Remus," stated James quickly.

**What to do when you know the worst is coming... "I'm not going to be murdered," Harry said out loud. **

"No your not," said James.

**"That's the spirit, dear," said his mirror sleepily.**

**_A/N: I hope you all liked this chapter, Im sorry if the grammar is really quite awful. I have horrible grammar skills and I am in need of a talented BETA. If someone would like to be a BETA they would be able to read the stories earlier than everyone else, and give me a bit of input to the story line. Of course, If you agree to be my BETA that would require you being a BETA for all of my stories. So if your interested my email is on my user page, please contact me. So and to my new ritual of listing the songs I listened to as I wrote this chapter, here is the list, hope you enjoy and please review!_**

_**Songs-   
They Looked Like Strong Hands, Bayside**_

_**Call it Karma, Silverstein**_

_**Under Pressure, The Used and My Chemical Romance**_

_**Nikki FM, Hawthorne Heights**_

_**Note to Self, From First to Last**_

_**Die Romantic, Aiden**_

_**Winter Wonderland, Hellogoodbye**_

_**Playing Favorites, The Starting Line**_

_**No 5, Hollywood Undead**_

_**Everytime, The Rewinds**_

_**Waterloo Sunset, The Kinks**_

_**Suburbia, Kelly Osbourne**_

_**Take Me Away, Plain White T's**_

_**She's Gonna Brake Soon, Less Than Jake**_

_**Grand Theft Autumn, Fall Out Boy**_

_**Makeout Club, Gym Class Heroes**_

_**Soul Meets Body, Death Cab For Cutie**_

_**Stick it to Dolores, Harry and the Potters**_

_**Wings of a Butterfly, HIM**_

_**The Suffering, Coheed and Cambria**_

_**Hide and Seek, Imogen Heap**_

_**The Process, My American Heart**_

_**My Eyes Burn, Matchbook Romance**_

_**If Looks Could Kill, A Heartwell Ending**_

_**Hopeless Love, Daphne Loves Derby**_

_**Time to Dance, PANIC! at the Disco**_

_**Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo, Bloodhound Gang**_

_**Lights and Sounds, Yellowcard**_

_**Litlle Less Sixteen Candles A Little More Touch Me, Fall Out Boy**_


	5. The Dementor Part 1

"Ooh I liked that chapter," said Sirius examining his fingernails.

"Me too," stated Remus.

"Humph, yeah okay," said James all huffily.

"Awe, you poor thing," cooed Lily, as she ruffled his disheveled crow colored hair. James just returned to folding his arms around his chest, and would "humph" every minute or so, as the others discussed the last chapter. "Who wants to read?" Lily asked swinging the book around in a circle. "How about you Hermione?" Hermione looked surprised she didn't think anyone would choose her to read, yet they had so she accepted.

"Okay here it goes, Chapter five, The Dementor." Hermione smiled and looked at Ron, aware that this would be a rather interesting chapter.

**Tom woke Harry next morning with his usual toothless grin**

"Heh," Sirius slightly grinned "I want a toothless grin."

**and a cup of tea. Harry got dressed and was just persuading a disgruntled Hedwig to get back into her cage when Ron banged his way into the room, pulling a sweatshirt over his head and looking irritable. **

"Party pooper," Sirius said looking irritably at Ron.

**'The sooner we get on the train, the better,' he said. 'At least I can get away from Percy at Hogwarts. Now he's accusing me of dripping tea on his photo of Penelope Clearwater. **

"Ew," Sirius said scratching his nose "Clearwater, that must mean she is related to Ruby Clearwater." Sirius's nose twitched he did not enjoy thinking about Ruby Clearwater. James cleared his throat ready to speak.

"Eh mate, didn't you date her last year?" asked James smiling.

"Shut up," mumbled Sirius underneath his breath.

**You know' Ron grimaced, 'his _girlfriend._ She's hidden her face under the frame because her nose has gone all blotchy…'**

"Eh, that prick actually has a girlfriend? How come he can get one but Moony can't?" Sirius looked sincerely at Ron, as if he truly wanted him to answer his question. Ron just shook his head in a bundle of disappointment.

**'I've got something to tell you,' Harry began, but they were interrupted by Fred and George, who had looked in to congratulate Ron on infuriating Percy again. **

"Nice," said James and Sirius in unison. They turned to look at one another, stuck out their tongues then resumed to position they were just in.

**They headed down to breakfast, where Mr Weasley was reading the front page of the _Daily Prophet _with a furrowed brow and Mrs Weasley was telling Hermione and Ginny about a Love Potion she'd made as a young girl.**

"Ohh," said Lily as if interested in learning about the love potion.

**All three of them were rather giggly.**

"Hehe, giggly," said Sirius laughing.

**'What were you saying?' Ron asked Harry, as they sat down.**

**'Later,' Harry muttered, as Percy stormed in.**

**Harry had no chance to speak to Ron or Hermione in the chaos of leaving; they were too busy heaving all their trunks down the Leaky Cauldron's narrow staircase and piling them up near the door, with Hedwig and Hermes, Percy's screech owl, perched on top in their cages. A small wickerwork basket stood beside the heap of trunks, spitting loudly.**

"Ew, what's that nasty creature?" asked Sirius aloud.

"For you information that would be my cat, and you like her quite alot, so shut up and listen," snapped Hermione viciously.

**'It's alright, Crookshanks,' Hermione cooed through the wickerwork, 'I'll let you out on the train.'**

You could hear a considerable amount of curse words leaving Ron's mouth, hidden in a mumble. Hermione glanced his way, giving him a death threat stare. Ron immediately shut his mouth and took his gaze into the grass.

**'You won't,' snapped Ron. 'What about poor Scabbers, eh?'**

"What about that stupid rat?" asked Sirius to Ron. Ron made no reply and kept staring at the green grass, his gaze had fallen upon some random insect.

**He pointed at his chest, where a large lump indicated that Scabbers was curled up in his pocket. **

**Mr Weasley, who had been outside waiting for the Ministry cars, stuck his head inside. **

**'They're here,' he said. 'Harry, come on.'**

**Mr Weasley marched Harry across the short stretch of pavement towards the first of two old-fashioned dark green cars, each of which was driven by a furtive-looking wizard, wearing a suit of emerald velvet. **

**'In you get, Harry,' said Mr Weasley, glancing up and down the crowded street.**

**Harry got into the back of the car, and was shortly joined by Hermione, Ron and, to Ron's disgust, Percy. **

"I don't like him more and more, every time he is mentioned," said James.

"Join the club," stated Ron.

**The journey to King's Cross was very uneventful compared to Harry's trip on the Knight Bus. **

"The wheels on the bus go round, and round, rou-" Sirius suddenly stopped by the frightening look of Hermione.

**The Ministry of Magic cars seemed almost ordinary, though Harry noticed that they could slide through gaps that Uncle Vernon's new company car certainly wouldn't have managed. They reached King's Cross with twenty minutes to spare; the Ministry drivers found them trolleys, unloaded their trunks, touched their hats to Mr Weasley and drove away, somehow managing to jump to the head of an unmoving queue for the traffic lights. **

**Mr Weasley kept close to Harry's elbow all the way into the station. **

"Geez, he's not five," said James upset that his son was being treated as if he couldn't even manage to hold a pair of safety scissors.

**'Right then,' he said, glancing around them. 'Lets do this in pairs, as there are so many of us. I'll go through first with Harry.'**

"Humph," muttered James, with his arms still folded across his chest.

**Mr Weasley strolled towards the barrier between platforms nine and ten, pushing Harry's trolley and apparently very interested in the InterCity 125 that had just arrived at platform nine. With a meaningful look at Harry, he leant casually against the barrier. Harry imitated him. Next moment, they had fallen sideways through the solid metal onto platform nine and three-quarters and looked up to see the Hogwarts Express, a scarlet steam engine, puffing smoke over a platform packed with witches and wizards seeing their children onto the train. **

**Percy and Ginny suddenly appeared behind Harry. They were panting, and had apparently taken the barrier at a run. **

**'Ah, there's Penelope!' said Percy, smoothing his hair and going pink again.**

"Oh, I bet he looks as lovely as a pig," said James.

**Ginny caught Harry's eye and they both turned away to hide their laughter**

"Ooh, Harry's got a crush!" said Sirius all giggily.

"You watch out, that's my sister, and Harry does not have a crush on Ginny," Ron said trying to convince Sirius as well as himself.

**as Percy strode over to a girl with long, curly hair, walking with his chest thrown out so that she couldn't miss his shiny badge. **

"Humongous Bighead," muttered Sirius.

**Once the remaining Weasleys and Hermione had joined them, Harry and Mr Weasley led the way to the end of the train, past packed compartments, to a carriage that looked quite empty. They loaded the trunks onto it, stowed Hedwig and Crookshanks in the luggage rack, then went back outside to say goodbye to Mr and Mrs Weasley.**

**Mrs Weasley kissed all her children, then Hermione, and finally, Harry. He was embarrassed, but really quite pleased, when she gave him and extra hug. **

"Or maybe he has a crush on your mum," said Sirius looking at Ron. Ron's face turned bright pink to match the shade of Lily's sweater. "Ooh now you're a pig just like your brother," stated Sirius.

"Ron don't, that's Sirius, it's not as if he is Malfoy," Hermione said out loud repeating to herself.

"Do you want me to kill you now?" Ron asked outraged.

"Stop! Ron don't do this!" Hermione said holding him back from attacking Sirius.

"He's asking for it, he might as well be Malfoy. He's just as ugly as him," said Ron clenching his fists tighter, with each breath.

"Shut it, before I take care of you," said Sirius nonchalantly. It was obvious that Sirius had never dealt with Ron's temper.

"You take care of me?" Ron made a tiny laugh, "You take care of me? Hah. That would be funny, too bad you can't because your dead," said Ron. His face was now extremely close to the color of a fire engine.

"Oh yeah, well Im not dead right now am I?" Sirius said now outraged he jumped up to his feet and grabbed Ron by his shirt collar. "Does it seem as if I'm dead to you? If I was dead, this wouldn't be your nightmare, now would it? So you think twice before you open your mouth again, because next time you do, it will be because my fist will be permanently shoved in your mouth." Sirius set Ron back down on the ground, unleashing his fists from Ron's shirt. "I'm going to take a stroll, I'll be back," Sirius walked around the corner of the castle, while the rest of the group stared at him silently.

"Right, um back to the story," said Hermione impatiently.

**'Do take care, wont you, Harry?' she said as she straightened up, her eyes oddly bright. Then she opened her enormous handbag and said, 'I've made you all sandwiches. Here you are, Ron… no, they're not corned beef … Fred? Where's Fred? Here you are, dear…'**

Everyone stopped to look around, it was extremely odd not having Sirius as company. Without him there was no enjoyment in reading the story, because no one else made the idiotic remarks that Sirius dared stated.

**'Harry,' said My Weasley quietly, 'come over here a moment.' **

"Uh-oh," whispered James to himself.

**He jerked his head towards a pillar, and Harry followed him behind it, leaving the others crowded around Mrs Weasley.**

**'There's something I've got to tell you before you leave -' said Mr Weasley, in a tense voice.**

**'It's alright, Mr. Weasley,' said Harry, 'I already know.'**

**'You know? How could you know?'**

**'I - er - I heard you and Mrs Weasley talking last night. I couldn't help hearing,' Harry added quickly. 'Sorry -' **

**'That's not the way I'd have chosen for you to find out,' said Mr Weasley, looking anxious.**

**'No - honestly, it's OK. This way you haven't broken your word to Fudge and I know what's going on.'**

**'Harry you must be scared -'**

"Of course he is, a nut is after him," said James.

**'I'm not,' said Harry sincerely. '_Really_,' he added, because Mr. Weasley was looking disbelieving. **

"I know he isn't doubting Harry," said James turning a light shade of pink.

**'I'm not trying to be a hero, but seriously, Sirius Black can't be worse than Voldemort, can he?'**

Everyone snorted with the exception of Hermione and Lily.

"Hey guys!" Everyone turned around to find a stout little boy, with big round blue eyes, and neatly combed hair. Hermione and Ron's eyes locked together automatically, she knew that Ron was at the verge of doing something irrational. Hermione looked the boy up and down, and had to keep herself from vomiting.

"Eh, Peter!" called James.

Ron flinched at the sound of the name, but he kept his eyes locked into Hermione's. Peter stood in the grass between James and Ron, nodding over towards Remus then stopping his gaze on Hermione. His eyes immediately became glossy as he looked longingly at her golden brown hair. "I'm Peter," he said extending out a hand. Hermione's face looked shocked, as well as alarmed. She had no idea whether to shake his hand or simply ignore him, and resume her reading.

"I'm Ron, nice to meet you, mate," said Ron tapping Peter on the shoulder. He quickly spun around and Ron saw the disappointment in Peter's sky blue eyes.

Peter quickly shifted from one foot to another, continually switching feet, appearing as if he was swaying to some imaginary music. "Nice, to meet you," stammered Peter quietly.

"And this is Hermione," Ron explained pointing to Hermione. She waved while giving Ron a rather curious look. Peter smiled, and glanced at James to strike up a conversation. As he waddled over to James, Ron rushed over to Hermione "We have to stop reading for the day," said Ron in a panic tone. He ran his hands through his thick, red hair.

"Your right," she said leaning against his arm. She rested her head against his shoulder pondering ways to get the group to stop reading. "Hey guys, I think we should stop for the day, because dinner is about to start and me and Ron are quite tired." explained Hermione.

Everyone looked around at one another to search for a common reaction. Some shrugged and others resumed their conversations with the person beside them. "I guess that's agreed then," said Ron as calmly as he could. "Alright, well we got some work to do, we'll talk to you later," said Ron quickly as him and Hermione disappeared into the school.

"What now?" cried Hermione as she threw her arms out stressfully. "We can't just allow everyone to see the future! It can ruin Harry's life." Hermione sat down in the room of requirement folding her head into her knees. Ron slammed his back against the wall and slid down next to her. He sat and twiddled his thumbs for a minute trying to figure out an idea.

"How long do you think it will take for Dumbledore to acquire the time-turner?" asked Ron with a look of hope flooding his face. Hermione sighed and resumed to peering through the gap between her thighs. Ron suddenly reached around her and stroked her hair, awkwardly. "We will figure everything out, I promise." Yet, Ron didn't know if he could say this honestly, because he had no idea whether everything would really work out in the end.

A/N: The Chapter of Book 3, 'The Dementor', will be read throughout two or three actual chapters. I'm quite sorry for this inconvience, but this is the way I choose to write out the story. Chapter 6 ( In my fanfiction. ) should be posted up by March 30. I swear. It will be, if not sooner. I hope you all have a lovely Saint Patrick's day. Oh, and please keep those wonderful reviews coming. By the way, thank you Alec, my wonderful BETA. You should all thank her too, because now you lovely readers can actually read my story. I forgot to mention, thank you all for the BETA offers, but I only need one for now, yet I saved one girl's email adress, I can't remember her name at the moment but she will eventually receive a message sooner or later.

-Kait

**Playlist:**

**Taste of Ink- The Used**

**Road to Joy- Bright Eyes**

**Middle of Nowhere- Hot Hot Heat**

**Making Love To The Camera- The Starting Line**

**Hide and Seek- Imogen Heap**

**Soul Meets Body- Death Cab For Cutie**

**What It Feels Like- Lola Ray**

**No.5- Hollywood Undead**

**Bleeding Mascara- Atreyu**


	6. The Dementor Part 2

(A/N: I'm sorry that it isn't this funny, but there wasn't much I could make funny. Mhm, Enjoy! Oh, and review!)

Hermione and Ron spent the night in the room of requirement. After they had conjured up beds, and blankets, and bit of tea. They didn't feel like going up to the Gryffindor common room and having to deal with so many new faces. They sat on the floor and discussed their plan, until they reached a conclusion, then they decided to go to sleep. Ron fell asleep almost instantly once he had gotten into his bed, yet Hermione lay in her bed awake all night contemplating the future and what it would hold. Eventually she fell asleep dreaming, dreams of returning.

Hermione woke up a few hours later to find Ron still asleep. Hermione asked the room for bright windows to wake up Ron, and suddenly bright light shone through Gothic arched windows. "Ron!" yelled Hermione shaking him by the shoulders, "get up we have things to do." She quickly concentrated on asking the room for clean Muggle clothes for herself and Ron. Quickly enough a door appeared in the walls and Hermione walked over and opened it. "Clothes!" cried Hermione happily. "Ron, I said wake up!" screamed Hermione from inside the closet.

"Huh," said Ron wearily. "Wait did I, did we?" started Ron before he was cut off by Hermione.

"No Ron, we were sent back in time remember?" she said placing him a pair of fresh jeans and a sweater on his bed. "Here go change behind the screen," said Hermione as she walked back into the closet. She pulled out some skinny jeans and an expensive designer sweater. "This will do," said Hermione closing the closet door so she could change. She walked out and found Ron sitting on the bed impatiently. Hermione flicked her wand at her hair making it fall down into place.

"Where are we going?" said Ron hopping off the bed to open the door for Hermione.

"I don't know yet," said Hermione as she walked through the door. "Breakfast," said Hermione as she made her way down the stairs.

"Sounds good," exclaimed Ron as he put a hand over his stomach "I'm starving." Ron and Hermione quickly made their way to the Great Hall and walked in to be greeted with hundreds of eyes peering at them. "Nothing like someone watching you eat, eh?" said Ron as Hermione scanned the Gryffindor table for a place to sit. Hermione quickly walked to the end of the table, closest to the teachers' table, and sat across from some familiar looking girl. Ron followed Hermione and took a seat next to her.

Hermione could feel the eyes on her and Ron as she filled her plate with food. Particularly the girl sitting across from her. "Um, excuse me," the girl paused to inhale, "do you go here?" asked the petite brunette. Hermione glanced up at the girl as she indulged on the sweet taste of tea.

"Yes," replied Hermione unkindly.

"Hermione," came a voice a couple of seats down. Ron and Hermione both peered down the table to find Remus Lupin standing up with a book in his hands. "We are going to go read, care to join us?"

"Sure thing mate," said Ron tugging on Hermione's arm. "Let's go." Hermione took one last sip of her tea and reluctantly got up to go listen to more of chapter five. James, Lily, Hermione, Ron, Remus, and Sirius made their way outside of the Great Hall with many people watching their every move. They walked out side of the grand oak doors of the school and settled near an area covered with trees that surrounded the lake. "Shall I read?" asked Remus.

Everyone nodded, while Sirius and James were giggling over a ladybug. Hermione had presumed that they had made up last night in their dormitories and were back to being friends. "Where were we?" said Remus as he flipped through the pages of the book "oh, here we are."

**Mr Weasley flinched at the sound of the name, but overlooked it. **

'**Harry I knew you were, well, made of stronger stuff than Fudge seems to think, and I'm obviously pleased that you're not scared, but -'**

"Bloody hell, the ladybug is on my nose!" cried Sirius happily. Everyone sighed as they glanced over to view this momentous occasion.

"Two sentences into our reading and we already stopped. This is going to be a interminable day." Lily said as she flicked the ladybug off of Sirius's nose.

"Hey!" cried Sirius. "You hurt my ladybug! Ladybug abuser!" He looked over at Lily with puppy eyes as he began to fake cry.

"Oh shut it," replied Lily tirelessly.

'**Arthur!' called Mrs Weasley, who was now shepherding the rest onto the train. 'Arthur, what are you doing? It's about to go!'**

'**He's coming, Molly!' said Mr Weasley, but he turned back to Harry and kept talking in a lower and more hurried voice. 'Listen I want you to give me your word -'**

'**- that I'll be a good boy and stay in the castle?' said Harry gloomily**

"Hah, no son of mine would ever, ever," said James dreaming up plans for Harry.

"Don't even think about it James. My son is not going to be a trouble maker like you." said Lily in a rather snippy tone.

"Annoyed already?" asked Remus gloomily.

"Is it that noticeable?" said Lily in response.

'**Not entirely,' said Mr Weasley, who looked more serious than Harry had ever seen him. 'Harry, swear to me you won't go _looking_ for Black.'**

**Harry stared. 'What?'**

**There was a loud whistle. Guards were walking along the train, slamming all the doors shut. 'Promise me, Harry,' said Mr Weasley, talking more quickly still, 'that whatever happens -'**

'**Why would I go looking for someone I know wants to kill me?' said Harry blankly.**

"Good head on his shoulders, I say" stated Lily.

'**Swear to me that whatever you might hear -'**

'**Arthur, quickly!' cried Mrs Weasley.**

**Steam was billowing from the train; it had started to move. Harry ran to the compartment door and Ron threw it open and stood back to let him on. They leant out of the window and waved at Mr and Mrs Weasley until the train turned a corner and blocked them from view. **

'**I need to talk to you in private,' Harry muttered to Ron and Hermione as the train picked up speed. **

'**Go away, Ginny,' said Ron.**

'**Oh, that's nice,' said Ginny huffily, and she stalked off. **

**Harry, Ron and Hermione set off down the corridor, looking for an empty compartment, but all were full except for the one at the very end of the train.**

"I hate it when that happens," said Sirius.

Hermione and Ron exchanged glances they knew what was going to happen next.

**This only had one occupant, a man sitting fast asleep next to the window. Harry, Ron and Hermione checked on the threshold. The Hogwarts Express was usually reserved for students and they had never seen an adult there before, except for the witch who pushed the food trolley.**

"Hehe, she's so pudgy," said Sirius trying to stifle a giggle.

**The stranger was wearing an extremely shabby set of wizard's robes which had been darned in several places. He looked ill and exhausted. Though he seemed quite young, his light-brown hair was flecked with grey. **

"Hate to be him," responded Sirius.

'**Who d'you reckon he is?' Ron hissed, as they sat down and slid the door shut, taking the seats furthest away from the window.**

'**Professor R. J. Lupin,' whispered Hermione at once. **

"Loopy Lupin! Yay!" cried Sirius scooting over to hug him.

"I was wondering when I would come in," replied Remus happily.

"Hurray!" said James and Sirius in unison.

Remus had a huge smile on his face from one ear to the other.

'**How d'you know that?'**

"Yeah, how did you know?" asked James quizzically.

'**It's on his case,' replied Hermione,**

"Oh," exclaimed James.

**pointing at the luggage rack over the man's head, where there was a small, battered case held together with a large quantity of neatly knotted string. The name 'Professor R. J. Lupin' was stamped across one corner in peeling letters. **

'**Wonder what he teaches?' said Ron, frowning at Professor Lupin's pallid profile.**

"Oh what do you teach?" asked Sirius.

"Now Siri how am I supposed to know?" replied Lupin.

"Oh yes, yes, go on," said Sirius eagerly.

'**That's obvious,' whispered Hermione. 'There's only one vacancy isn't there? Defence Against the Dark Arts.'**

**Harry, Ron and Hermione had already had two Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers, both of whom had only lasted one year. There were rumours that the job was jinxed. **

'**Well I hope he's up to it,' said Ron doubtfully. 'He looks like one good hex would finish him off, doesn't he?**

Sirius playfully hits Remus with stupefy to see if he would be finished off. "Nope, dang it didn't work," said Sirius frowning.

"Not now you git," replied James smacking Sirius upside the head.

**'Anyway…' he turned to Harry, 'what were you going to tell us?' **

**Harry explained all about Mr and Mrs Weasley's argument and the warning Mr Weasley had just given him. When he'd finished, Ron looked thunderstruck, and Hermione had her hands over her mouth. She finally lowered them to say, 'Sirius Black escaped to come after _you_? Oh, Harry… you'll have to be really, really careful. Don't go looking for trouble, Harry…'**

"Why would he go looking for trouble?" asked Sirius sincerely.

Hermione shook her head and nodded at Remus to continue reading.

'**I don't go looking for trouble,' said Harry, nettled. 'Trouble usually finds _me_.'**

"That's an understatement," muttered Hermione.

'**How thick would Harry have to be, to go looking for a nutter who wants to kill him?' said Ron shakily. **

"So I'm a nutter?" asked Sirius.

"Well, at the time we thought you were," exclaimed Ron.

"Boys," stated Lily "I don't want a repeat of yesterday."

**They were taking the news worse than Harry had expected. Both, Ron and Hermione seemed to be more frightened of Black than he was.**

'**No one knows how he got out of Azkaban,' said Ron uncomfortably. 'No one's ever done it before. And he was a top-secret prisoner, too.' **

"Who has talent?" cried Sirius from the top of his lungs. "I have talent!" Sirius began to shake his butt as he twirled in circles.

"Sirius! Thats, um, enough mate," said James concerned.

'**But they'll catch him, won't they? said Hermione earnestly. 'I mean, they've got all the Muggles looking out for him, too…' **

"Muggles? Ew," stated Sirius.

'**What's that noise?' said Ron suddenly.**

**A faint, tinny sort of whistle was coming from somewhere. They looked all around the compartment.**

'**It's coming from your trunk, Harry,' said Ron, standing up and reaching into the luggage rack. A moment later he had pulled the Pocket Sneakoscope out from between Harry's robes. It was spinning very fast in the palm of Ron's hand, and glowing brilliantly. **

'**Is that a _Sneakoscope_?' said Hermione interestedly, standing up for a better look. **

"I want a sneakoscope," whined James.

"Well, we will get you one, now shush," replied Lily.

'**Yeah… mind you, it's a very cheap one,' Ron said. 'It went hay-wire just as I was trying it to Errol's leg to send it to Harry.' **

'**Were you doing anything untrustworthy at the time?' said Hermione shrewdly.**

'**No! Well… I wasn't supposed to be using Errol. You know he's not really up to long journeys… but how else was I supposed to get Harry's present to him?'**

'**Stick it back in the trunk,' Harry advised, as the Sneakoscope whistled piercingly, 'or it'll wake him up.'**

**He nodded towards Professor Lupin. Ron stuffed the Sneakoscope into a particularly horrible pair of Uncle Vernon's old socks, which deadened the sound, then closed the lid of the trunk on it. **

'**We could get it checked in Hogsmeade?' asked Hermione keenly. I've read it's the only entirely non-Muggle settlement in Britain -' **

'**Yeah, I think it is,' said Ron in an offhand sort of way, 'but that's not why I want to go. I just want to get inside Honeydukes!'**

"Ooh! Honeydukes!" exclaimed James.

'**What's that?' said Hermione.**

'**It's this sweetshop,' said Ron, a dreamy look coming over his face, 'where they've got _everything_… Pepper Imps – they make you smoke at the mouth – and great fat Chocoballs full of strawberry mousse and clotted cream, and really excellent sugar quills which you can suck in class and just look like you're thinking what to write next -' **

"I want one!" cired James and Sirius.

"They haven't invented them yet," said Lily.

"Right," said James.

'**But Hogsmeade's a very interesting place, isn't it?' Hermione pressed on eagerly.**

"Oh shut it," said Sirius.

"Why don't you try to for once," retorted Hermione.

'**In _Sites of Historical Sorcery _it says the inn was the headquarters for the 1612 goblin rebellion, and the Shrieking Shack's supposed to be the most severely haunted building in Britain -'**

"Shrieking Shack?" asked Lily obviously interested. "What's that? You mean that shack in Hogsmeade, it's haunted?"

"Oh, yes, yes," replied James.

"Didn't you know?" asked Sirius.

"No, I didn't" murmured Lily.

'**- and massive sherbet balls that make you levitate a few inches off the ground while your sucking them,' said Ron, who was plainly not listening to a word Hermione was saying. **

Sirius giggled.

**Hermione looked around at Harry. **

'**Won't it be nice to get out of school for a bit and explore Hogsmeade?'**

''**Spect it will,' said Harry heavily. 'You'll have to tell me when you've found out'**

"Awe, Harry can't go," said James disappointed.

'**What d'you mean?' said Ron.**

'**I can't go. The Dursleys didn't sign my permission form, and Fudge wouldn't, either.'**

"Stupid Dursleys, stupid Fudge, stupid people.." whispered James.

**Ron looked horrified.**

'**_You're not allowed to come? _But – no way – McGonagall or someone will give you permission –'**

**Harry gave a hollow laugh. Professor McGonagall, Head of Gryffindor house, was very strict. **

'– **or we can ask Fred and George, they know every secret passage out of the castle –'**

'**Ron!' said Hermione sharply. 'I don't think Harry should be sneaking out of school with Black on the loose –' **

"They act like I'm some type of vicious dog, but I'm really quite lovable," said Sirius.

"What is he talking about?" asked Lily.

"I dunno know," replied Remus as James shrugged his shoulders.

"No idea," said Hermione.

'**Yeah, I expect that's what McGonagall will say when I ask for permission,' said Harry bitterly. **

'**But if _we_'re with him,' said Ron spiritedly to Hermione, 'Black wouldn't dare –'**

'**Oh, Ron, don't talk rubbish,' snapped Hermione. 'Black's already murdered a whole bunch of people in the middle of a crowded street, do you really think he's going to worry about attacking Harry just because _we_'re there?'**

Sirius huffed and puffed as he crossed his arms defensively towards Hermione.

**She was fumbling with the straps of Crookshanks's basket as she spoke.**

'**Don't let that thing out!' Ron said, but too late; Crookshanks leapt lightly from the basket, stretched, yawned, and sprang onto Ron's knees; the lump in Ron's pocket trembled and he shoved Crookshanks angrily away. **

'**Get out of it!'**

'**Ron, don't!' said Hermione angrily.**

**Ron was about to answer back when Professor Lupin stirred. They watched him apprehensively, but he simply turned his head the other way, mouth lightly open, and slept on.**

**The Hogwarts Express moved steadily north and the scenery outside the window became wilder and darker while the clouds overhead thickened. People were chasing backwards and forwards past the door of their compartment. Crookshanks had now settled in an empty seat, his squashed face turned towards Ron, his yellow eyes on Ron's top pocket. **

"Awe, kitty likes you mate," said Sirus.

**At one o'clock the plump witch with the food trolley arrived at the compartment door.**

"Hehe, I told you she was pudgy!" exclaimed Sirius.

'**D'you think we should wake him up?' Ron asked awkwardly, nodding towards Professor Lupin. 'He looks like he could do with some food.'**

**Hermione approached Professor Lupin cautiously.**

'**Er – Professor?' she said. 'Excuse me – Professor?' **

**He didn't move.**

"Sounds like good 'ol Remus to me," said Sirius happily. "Always so tired," stated Sirius punching Remus in the arm.

'**Don't worry, dear' said the witch, as she handed Harry a large stack of couldron cakes. 'If he's hungry when he wakes, I'll be up front with the driver.'**

'**I suppose he _is_ asleep?' said Ron quietly, as the witch slid the compartment door closed. 'I mean – he hasn't died, has he?' **

'**No, no, he's breathing,' whispered Hermione, taking the cauldron cake Harry passed her.**

**He might not be very good company, but Professor Lupin's presence in their compartment had its uses. Mid-afternoon, just as it had started to rain, blurring the rolling hills outside the window, they heard footsteps in the corridor again, and their three least favourite people appeared at the door: Draco Malfoy, flanked by his cronies, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle.**

"Ew, Goyle, that's revolting," replied Lily shuddering.

**Draco Malfoy and Harry had been enemies ever since they had met on their very first train journey to Hogwarts. Malfoy, who had a pale, pointed, sneering face, was in Slytherin house; he played Seeker on the Slytherin Quidditch team, the same position that Harry played on the Gryffindor team. Crabbe and Goyle seemed to exist to do Malfoy's bidding. They were both wide and muscly; Crabbe was the taller, with a pudding-basin haircut and a very thick neck; Goyle had short, bristly hair and long, gorilla arms. **

"Ugh, gorilla arms, that is so unattractive," said Sirius.

'**Well, look who it is,' said Malfoy in his usual lazy drawl, pulling open the compartment door. 'Potty and the Weasel.'**

"Hey kid! you watch who your calling 'Potty'," said James angrily.

**Crabbe and Goyle chuckled trollishly. **

"Gross," said Sirius.

'**I heard your father finally got his hands on some gold this summer, Weasley,' said Malfoy. 'Did your mother die of shock?'**

"I don't like him," stated James.

**Ron stood up so quickly he knocked Crookshanks's basket to the floor. Professor Lupin gave a snort.**

"Hehe, you snorted. You'd make a cute pig you know," said Sirius as he examined Remus's facial features.

'**Who's that?' said Malfoy, taking an automatic step backwards as he spotted Lupin.**

"Scaredy cat!" cried Sirius.

'**New teacher,' said Harry, who had got to his feet, too, in case he needed to hold Ron back. 'What were you saying, Malfoy?' **

**Malfoy's pale eyes narrowed; he wasn't foolish enough to pick a fight right under a teacher's nose. **

"Good going Remus," said James relieved.

'**C'mon,' he muttered resentfully to Crabbe and Goyle, and they disappeared. **

**Harry and Ron sat down again, Ron massaging his knuckles. **

'**I'm not going to take any rubbish from Malfoy this year,' he said angrily. 'I mean it. If he makes one more crack about my family, I'm going to get hold of his head and –'**

**Ron made a violent gesture in mid-air.**

'**Ron,' hissed Hermione, pointing at Professor Lupin, 'be _careful_ –' **

**But Professor Lupin was still fast asleep. **

**The rain thickened as the train sped yet further north; the windows were now a solid, shimmering grey, which gradually darkened until lanterns flickered into life all along the corridors and over the luggage racks. The train rattled, the rain hammered, the wind roared, but still, Professor lupin slept. **

"Wow, your a heavy sleeper," said Lily making Remus grin.

'**We must be nearly there,' said Ron, leaning forward to look past Professor Lupin at the now completely black window. **

**The words had hardly left him when the train started to slow down.**

"Huh? Slow down?" asked James.

'**Brilliant,' said Ron, getting up and walking carefully past Professor Lupin to try and see outside. I'm starving, I want to get to the feast…'**

'**We can't be there yet,' said Hermione, checking her watch. **

'**So why're we stopping?'**

**The train was getting slower and slower. As the noise of the pistons fell away, the wind and rain sounded louder than ever against the windows. **

**Harry, who was nearest the door, got up to look into the corridor. All along the carriage, heads were sticking curiously out of their compartments.**

**The train came to a stop with a jolt and distant thuds and bangs told them that luggage had fallen out of the racks. Then without warning, all the lamps went out and they were plunged into total darkness.**

"Whats going on?" asked Sirius concerned.

'**What's going on?' said Ron's voice from behind Harry.**

Sirius and Ron made eye contact then quickly looked away.

'**Ouch! gasped Hermione. 'Ron, that was my foot!'**

**Harry felt his way back to his seat.**

'**D'you think we've broken down?'**

'**Dunno…'**

**There was a squeaking sound, and Harry saw the dim black outline of Ron, wiping a patch clean on the window and peering out.**

'**There's something moving out there,' Ron said. 'I think people are coming aboard…'**

"What?" asked James confused.

"Hush, we will find out sooner if you stay quiet," said Lily who was quite antsy.

**The compartment door suddenly opened and someone fell painfully over Harry's legs.**

'**Sorry! D'you know what's going on? Ouch! Sorry –'**

'**Hello, Neville,' said Harry, feeling around in the dark and pulling Neville up by his cloak.**

'**Harry? Is that you? What's happened?'**

'**No idea! Sit down –'**

**There was a loud hissing and a yelp of pain; Neville had tried to sit on Crookshanks.**

Sirius laughed until he was given a glare from Lily, which caused him to stop.

'**I'm going to go and ask the driver what's going on,' cam Hermione's voice. Harry felt her pass him, hear the door slide open again and then a thud and two loud squeals of pain.**

'**Who's that?'**

'**Who's _that_?'**

'**Ginny'**

'**Hermione'**

'**What are you doing?'**

'**I was looking for Ron –'**

'**Come in and sit down –'**

'**Not here! Said Harry hurriedly, 'I'm here!'**

"Sounds like fun!" said Sirius giggling.

'**Ouch! said Neville.**

'**Quiet!' said a hoarse voice suddenly.**

**Professor Lupin appeared to have woken up at last.**

"Finally, I was worried about you Loopy," stated Sirius.

**Harry could hear movements in his corner. None of them spoke. **

**There was a soft, crackling noise and a shivering light filled the compartment. Professor Lupin appeared to be holding a handful of flames. They illuminated his tired grey face, but his eyes looked alert and wary. **

'**Stay where you are,' he said, in the same hoarse voice, and he got slowly to his feet with his handful of fire held out in front of him.**

**But the door slid slowly open before Lupin could reach it.**

**Standing in the doorway, illuminated by the shivering flames in Lupin's hand, was a cloaked figure that towered to the ceiling. Its face was completely hidden beneath its hood.**

"Dementors," whispered Lily.

**Harry's eyes darted downwards, and what he saw made his stomach contract. There was a hand protruding from the cloak and it was glistening, greyish, slimy-looking and scabbed, like something dead that had decayed in water…**

**It was visible only for a second. As thought the creature beneath the cloak sensed Harry's gaze, the hand was suddenly withdrawn into the folds of the black material. **

**And then the thing beneath the hood, whatever it was, drew a long, slow rattling breath, as though it was trying to suck something more than air from its surroundings. **

"Oh no," said James seriously.

**An intense cold swept over them all. Harry felt his own breath catch in his chest. The cold went deeper than his skin. It was inside his chest, it was inside his very heart…**

**Harry's eyes rolled up into his head.**

"That's not good," said Sirius.

**He couldn't see. He was drowning in cold. There was a rushing in his ears as though of water. He was being dragged downwards, the roaring growing louder…**

**And then, from far away, he heard screaming, terrible, terrified, pleading screams. He wanted to help whoever it was, he tried to move his arms, but couldn't… a thick white fog was swirling around him, inside him –'**

'**Harry! Harry! Are you alright?'**

**Someone was slapping his face.**

'**W-what?'**

**Harry opened his eyes. There were lanterns above him, and the floor was shaking – the Hogwarts Express was moving again and the lights had come back on. He seemed to have slid out of his seat onto the floor. Ron and Hermione were kneeling next to him, and above them he could see Neville and Professor Lupin watching. Harry felt sick; when he put up his hand to push his glasses back on, he felt cold sweat on his face. **

**Ron and Hermione heaved him back onto his seat.**

'**Are you OK' Ron asked nervously. **

'**Yeah,' said Harry, looking quickly towards the door. The hooded creature had vanished. 'What happened? Where's that – that thing? Who screamed?'**

'**No one screamed,' said Ron, more nervously still. **

"That's even worse," said Sirius.

**Harry looked around the bright compartment. Ginny and Neville looked back at him, both very pale. **

'**But I heard screaming –'**

**A loud snap made them all jump. Professor Lupin was breaking an enormous slap of chocolate into pieces. **

'**Here,' he said to Harry, handing him a particularly large piece. **

"Favouring my son, eh?" said James weakily smiling.

'**Eat it. It'll help.' **

**Harry took the chocolate but didn't eat it.**

'**What was that thing?' he asked Lupin.**

'**A Dementor,' said Lupin, who was now giving chocolate to everyone else. 'One of the Dementors of Azkaban.'**

**Everyone stared at him. Professor Lupin crumpled up the empty chocolate wrapper and put it in his pocket. **

'**Eat,' he repeated. 'It'll help. I need to speak to the driver, excuse me…' **

"Remus, you're so responsible! What happened to you?" cried Sirius.

**He strolled past Harry and disappeared into the corridor. **

'**Are you sure you're OK, Harry? Said Hermione, watching Harry anxiously. **

'**I don't get it… what happened?' said Harry, wiping more sweat off his face. **

'**Well – that thing – the Dementor – stood there and looked around (I mean, I think it did, I couldn't see its face) – and you – you –'**

'**I thought you were having a fit or something,' said Ron, who still looked scared. 'You went sort of rigid and fell out of your seat and started twitching –'**

'**And Professor Lupin stepped over you, and walked towards the Dementor, and pulled out his wand,' said Hermione. 'And he said, "None of us is hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks. Go." But the Dementor didn't move, so Lupin muttered something, and a silvery thing shot out of his wand at it, and it turned around and sort of glided away…' **

'**It was horrible,' said Neville, in a higher voice than usual. 'Did you feel how cold it went when it came in?'**

'**I felt weird,' said Ron, shifting his shoulders uncomfortably, 'Like I'd never be cheerful again…' **

"Oh, I hope I never meet one of those," exclaimed Lily worried.

"I wish I didn't have to," replied Sirius.

**Ginny, who was huddled in her corner looking nearly as bad as Harry felt, gave a small sob, Hermione went over and put a comforting arm around her. **

'**But didn't any of you – fall off your seats?' said Harry awkwardly.**

'**No' said Ron, looking anxiously at Harry again, 'Ginny was shaking like mad, though…'**

"Poor thing," said Sirius sympathetically.

**Harry didn't understand. He felt weak and shivery, as though he was recovering from a bad bout of flu; he also felt the beginnings of shame. Why had he gone to pieces like that, when no one else had?**

**Professor Lupin had come back. He paused as he entered, looked around and said, with a small smile. 'I haven't poisoned that chocolate, you know…'**

Sirius tutted, "It's a bad thing to be lying to a little boy Remus."

"Who are you calling a little boy?" asked James.

"Shut it James, " said Sirius.

**Harry took a bite and to his great surprise felt warmth spread suddenly to the tips of his fingers and toes. **

"Surprisingly he knows what he is talking about," said Lily.

"Haha," retorted Remus.

'**We'll be at Hogwarts in ten minutes,' said Professor Lupin. 'Are you all right, Harry?' **

**Harry didn't ask how Professor Lupin knew his name. 'Fine,' he muttered, embarrassed. **

"Of course he would know you, I'm sure you look just like us," said James pleasantly.

"Um, James? Who are you talking to?" asked Lily.

"Oh, umm..." There was a pause of silence before Remus resumed to reading.

**They didn't talk much during the remainder of the journey. At long last, the train stopped at Hogsmeade station, and there was a great scramble to get out; owls hotted, cats miaowed, and Neville's pet toad croaked loudly from under his hat. It was freezing on the tiny platform; rain was driving down in icy sheets. **

'**Firs'-years this way!' called a familiar voice. Harry, Ron and Hermione turned and saw the gigantic outline of Hagrid at the other end of the platform, beckoning the terrified-looking new students forward for their traditional journey across the lake. **

"Hagrid!" said Sirius as he poked Remus in the ribs.

"What was that for?" asked Remus.

"I dont know," said Sirius while grinning.

Remus shook his head and began to read.

'**All righ', you three?' Hagrid yelled over the heads of the crowd.**

"Remus! Talk in a Hagrid accent!" said Sirius in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Hagrid accent? Elaborate Sirius," said Lily trying to keep herself from laughing.

"You know, a Hagrid accent!" said Sirius convinced as if there was such a thing.

"So you want me to talk in a Hagrid accent?" asked Remus. "Give me an example."

"Oy, what are you four doin' out her'?" said Sirius in a dialect that Hagrid would speak in. Hermione, Lily, Ron, Remus, and James burst out in laughter. They continued laughing at Sirius who sat in frustration the whole time they laughed. "What's so funny?" said Sirius in the most sincere voice.

"Nothing," said Remus as he cleared his throat, "absolutely nothing."

**They waved at him, but had no chance to speak to him because the mass of people around them was shunting them away along the platform. Harry, Ron and Hermione followed the rest of the school out onto a rough mud track, where at least a hundred stagecoaches awaited the remaining students, each pulled, Harry could only assume, by an invisible horse, because when they climbed inside one and shut the door, the coach set off all by itself, bumping and swaying in procession. **

"I like those rides," said Sirius cheerfully.

**The coach smelled faintly of mold and straw. **

"Disgusting," stated Sirius as he examined his nails.

**Harry felt better since the chocolate, but still weak. Ron and Hermione kept looking at him sideways, as though frightened he might collapse again.**

"Dummies!" exclaimed Sirius.

"How many times do I have to tell you? Shut it!" cried Hermione.

**As the carriage trundled towards a pair of magnificent wrought-iron gates, flanked with stone columns topped with winged boars, Harry saw two more towering, hooded Dementors, standing guard on either side. A wave of cold sickness threatened to engulf him again; he leant back into the lumpy seat and closed his eyes until they had passed through the gates. The carriage picked up speed on the long, sloping driveway up to the castle; **

**Hermione was leaning out of the tiny window, watching the many turrets and towers draw nearer. At last, the carriage swayed to a halt, and Hermione and Ron got out. As Harry stepped down, a drawling, delighted voice sounded in his ear. 'You _fainted_, Potter? Is Longbottom telling the truth? You actually _fainted_?' Malfoy elbowed past Hermione to block Harry's way up the stone steps to the castle, his face gleeful and his pale eyes glinting maliciously.**

James scowled as he attempted to control his raging temper.

'**Shove off, Malfoy,' said Ron, whose jaw was clenched.**

'**Did you faint as well, Weasley?' said Malfoy loudly. 'Did the scary old Dementor frighten you, too, Weasley?'**

"We could kill him together you know," said James nodding towards Ron.

'**Is there a problem?' said a mild voice, Professor Lupin had just got out of the next carriage. Malfoy gave Professor Lupin an insolent stare, which took in the patches on his robes and the dilapidated suitcase. **

"Stupid git," replied Remus.

"Shouldn't be calling your students names," said James jokingly.

**With a tiny hint of sarcasm in his voice, he said, 'Oh, no – er – _Professor_,' then he smirked at Crabbe and Goyle, and led them up the steps into the castle.**

"He is quite a thick-headed one isn't he?" exclaimed Hermione.

**Hermione prodded Ron in the back to make him hurry, and the three of them joined the crowd swarming up the steps, through the giant oak front doors, and into the cavernous Entrance Hall, which was lit with flaming torches and housed a magnificent marble staircase which led to the upper floors. **

**The door into the Great Hall stood open at the right, Harry followed the crowd towards it, but had barely glimpsed the enchanted ceiling, which was black and cloudy tonight when a voice called, 'Potter! Granger! I want to see you both!' **

"Trouble already? Now that sounds like my s-" Lily hit James in the chest quite hard, "Ow! What was that f-" Lily hit James this time up the side of his head. "Meanie," he said as he stuck out his tongue towards her.

**Harry and Hermione turned around, surprised. Professor McGonagall, Transfiguration teacher and Head of Gryffindor house, was calling over the heads of the crowd. She was a stern looking witch who wore her hair in a tight bun; her sharp eyes were framed with square spectacles.**

"Hasn't changed a bit," said Remus.

"Sure hasn't," replied James.

**Harry fought his way over to her with a feeling of foreboding; Professor McGonagall had a way of making him feel he must have done something wrong. **

"She does give that effect off doesn't she?" stated James.

'**There's no need to look so worried – I just want a word in my office,' she told them.**

Ron swore he heard Lily sigh in relief.

'**Move along there, Weasley.'**

**Ron stared as Professor McGonagall ushered Harry and Hermione away from the chattering crowd; they accompanied her across the Entrance Hall, up the marble staircase and along a corridor. **

**Once they were in her office, a small room with a large, welcoming fire, Professor McGonagall motioned Harry and Hermione to sit down. She settled herself behind her desk and said abruptly, 'Professor Lupin sent an owl ahead to say that you were taken ill on the train, Potter.'**

**Before Harry could reply, there was a soft knock on the door and Madam Pomfrey, the matron, came bustling in.**

"Oh no, not her," said James who sounded irritated.

**Harry felt himself going red in the face. It was bad enough that he'd passed out, or whatever he had done, without everyone making all the fuss. 'I'm fine,' he said. 'I don't need anything –'**

'**Oh, it's you, is it?' said Madam Pomfrey, ignoring this and bending down to stare closely at him. 'I suppose you've been doing something dangerous again?'**

"So our son is known for being dangerous, nice" said James.

'**It was a Dementor, Poppy,' said Professor McGonagall.**

**They exchanged a dark look and Madam Pomfrey clucked disapprovingly.**

'**Setting Dementors around a school,' she muttered, pushing Harry's hair back and feeling his forehead. 'He won't be the first one who collapses. Yes, he's all clammy. Terrible things, they are and the effect they have on people who are already delicate–'**

"He's not delicate!" said James outraged.

'**I'm not delicate!' said Harry crossly.**

'**Of course you're not,' said Madam Pomfrey absent-mindedly, now taking his pulse. **

"Stupid, good for nothing nurse," muttered James.

'**What does he need?' said Professor McGonagall crisply. 'Bed rest? Should he perhaps spend tonight in the hospital wing?'**

'**I'm _fine_!' said Harry, jumping up. **

"Yeah! He's fine! Listen to the boy," said Sirius.

**The idea of what Draco Malfoy would say if he had to go to the hospital wing was torture. **

"Stupid Malfoys," muttered James underneath his breath.

'**Well, he should have some chocolate, at the very least,' said Madam Pomfrey, who was now trying to peer into Harry's eyes.**

'**I've already had some,' said Harry. 'Professor Lupin gave me some. He gave it to all of us.'**

'**Did he, now?' said Madam Pomfrey approvingly, 'So we've finally got a Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher who knows his remedies.'**

"Oh, lookie there! Remus is a wonderful teacher!" said Sirius.

"Thank you, I think," replied Remus.

'**Are you sure you feel all right, Potter?' said Professor McGonagall sharply. **

'**_Yes_,' said Harry.**

'**Very well. Kindly wait outside while I have a quick word with Miss Granger about her timetable, then we can go down to the feast together.'**

**Harry went back into the corridor with Madam Pomfrey, who left for the hospital wing, muttering to herself. He only had to wait a few minutes; then Hermione emerged looking very happy about something,'**

"She probably got extra homework, and that's what has her pants in such a fit" said Sirius.

Hermione muttered some foul words that only she could hear and she began to rip out grass then shred each peice into small pieces.

**followed by Professor McGonagall, and the three of them made their way back down the marble staircase to the Great Hall. **

**It was a sea of pointed black hats; each of the long house tables was lined with students, their faces glimmering by the light of thousands of candles, which were floating over the tables in midair. Professor Flitwick, who was a tiny little wizard with a shock of white hair, was carrying an ancient hat and a three-legged stool out of the Hall. **

'**Oh,' said Hermione softly, 'we've missed the Sorting!'**

"How wretched," cried Sirius in a mocking tone.

**New students at Hogwarts were sorted into houses by trying on the Sorting Hat, which shouted out the house they were best suited to (Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff or Slytherin). Professor McGonagall strode off towards her empty seat at the staff table, and Harry and Hermione set off in the other direction, as quietly as possible, towards the Gryffindor table. People looked around at them as they passed along the back of the Hall, and a few of them pointed at Harry. Had the story of him collapsing in front of the Dementor travelled that fast?**

**He and Hermione sat down either side of Ron, who had saved them seats.**

'**What was all that about?' he muttered to Harry. **

**Harry started to explain in a whisper, but at that moment the Headmaster stood up to speak, and he broke off.**

"Dumblydore!" cried Sirius.

**Professor Dumbledore, though very old, always gave an impression of great energy. He had several feet of long silver hair and was often described as the greatest wizards of the age, but that wasn't why Harry respected him. You couldn't help trusting Albus Dumbledore, and as Harry watched him beaming around at the students, he felt really calm for the first time since the Dementor had entered the train compartment. **

"Calm is good," said Lily happily.

'**Welcome!' said Dumbledore, the candlelight shimmering on his beard. 'Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I have a few things to say to you all, and as one of them is very serious, I think it best to get it out of the way before you become befuddled by our excellent feast…'**

**Dumbledore cleared his throat and continued. 'As you will be aware after their search of the Hogwarts Express, our school is presently playing host to some of the Dementors of Azkaban, who are here on Ministry of Magic business.'**

"I never would of thought that he would allow such foul creatures on the school grounds," said Lily disaprovingly.

"You obviously have never been in the Forbidden Forest," said Ron.

**He paused, and Harry remembered what Mr Weasley had said about Dumbledore not being happy with the Dementors guarding the school. **

'**They are stationed at every entrance to the grounds,' Dumbledore continued, 'and while they are with us, I must make it plain that nobody is to leave school without permission. Dementors are not to be fooled by tricks or disguises – or even Invisibility Cloaks,' he added blandly, and Harry and Ron glanced at each other. **

"He has an invisibility cloak?" said James proudly. "Wonder where he got it from, I always wanted one myself."

'**It is not in the nature of a Dementor to understand pleading or excuses. I therefore warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. I look to the Prefects, and our new Head Boy and Girl, to make sure that no student runs foul of the Dementors.'**

**Percy, who was sitting a few seats along from Harry, puffed out his chest again and stared around impressively. Dumbledore paused again; he looked very seriously around the Hall, and nobody moved or made a sound.**

'**On a happier note,' he continued, 'I am pleased to welcome two new teachers to our ranks this year. Firstly, Professor Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.' **

"Yay Loopy!" yelled Sirius.

**There was some scattered, rather unenthusiastic, applause. Only those who had been in the compartment on the train with Professor Lupin clapped hard, Harry among them. Professor Lupin looked particularly shabby next to all the other teachers in their best robes. **

'**Look at Snape!' Ron hissed in Harry's ear. **

"Ew, Snivellus," said James.

**Professor Snape, the Potions master, was staring along the staff table at Professor Lupin.**

"How sweet!" exclaimed Sirius.

"What?" asked James.

"Snape has a man crush on Loopy."

"What?" said Remus flabberghasted.

Sirius giggled uncontrollingly like a five year old girl.

**It was common knowledge that Snape wanted the Defence Against the Dark Arts job, but even Harry, who hated Snape, was startled at the expression twisting his thin, shallow face. It was beyond anger: it was loathing. **

"Oh, you better watch out Loopy. He's mad that you don't love him."

"Shut it Sirius!"

**Harry knew that expression only too well; it was the look Snape wore every time he set eyes on Harry. **

'**As to our second new appointment,' Dumbledore continued, as the lukewarm applause for Lupin died away, 'well, I am sorry to tell you that Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher, retired at the end of last year in order to enjoy more time with his remaining limbs. **

"How delightful," exclaimed Sirius sarcastically.

**However, I am delighted to say that his place will be filled by none other than Rubeus Hagrid, who has agreed to take on this teaching job in addition to his gamekeeping duties.'**

"Hurray! Maybe he will talk in a Hagrid accent!"

**Harry, Ron and Hermione stared at each other, stunned. Then they joined in with the applause, which was tumultuous at the Gryffindor table in particular. Harry leant forward to see Hagrid, who was ruby red in the face and staring down at his enormous hands, his wide grin hidden in the tangle of his black beard. **

'**We should've known!' Ron roared, pounding the table. 'Who else would have set us a biting book?'**

"Your right about tha' one mate," said Sirius.

**Harry, Ron and Hermione were the last to stop clapping, and as Professor Dumbledore started speaking again, they saw that Hagrid was wiping his eyes on the tablecloth.**

"How sentimental," exclaimed Sirius.

"Wow, you deserve a cookie, that was a big word." said Lily as she pat Sirius on the head.

'**Well, I think that's everything of importance,' said Dumbledore. 'Let the feast begin!'**

**The golden plates and goblets before them filled suddenly with food and drink. Harry, suddenly ravenous, helped himself to everything he could reach and began to eat. **

**It was a delicious feast; the Hall echoed with talk, laughter and the clatter of knives and forks. Harry, Ron and Hermione, however were eager to finish so that they could talk to Hagrid. They knew how much being made a teacher would mean to him. Hagrid wasn't a fully qualified wizard; he had been expelled from Hogwarts in his third year, for a crime he had not committed. It had been Harry, Ron and Hermione who had cleared Hagrid's name last year. **

"Yay! They cleared Hagrid's name!" said Sirius.

**At long last, when the last morsels of pumpkin tart had melted from the golden platters, Dumbledore gave the word that it was time for them all to go to bed, and they got their chance. **

'**Congratulations, Hagrid!' Hermione squealed, as they reached the teacher's table. **

'**All down ter you three,' said Hagrid, wiping his shining face on his napkin as he looked up at them. 'Can' believe it – great man, Dumbledore… came straight down to me hut after Professor Kettleburn said he'd had enough… it's what I always wanted…'**

"Hagrid accent," cried Sirius with pleasure.

**Overcome with emotion, he buried his face in his napkin, and Professor McGonagall shooed them away. **

**Harry, Ron and Hermione joined the Gryffindors streaming up the marble staircase and, very tired now, along more corridors up more and more stairs, to the hidden entrance to Gryffindor Tower. A large portrait of a fat lady in a pink dress asked them, 'Password?'**

"Fat lady!" exclaimed Sirius and James.

'**Coming through, coming through!' Percy called from behind the crowd. 'The new password's _Fortuna Major_!'**

'**Oh no,' said Neville Longbottom sadly. He always had trouble remembering the passwords. **

**Through the portrait hole and across the common room, the girls and boys divided towards their separate staircases. Harry climbed the spiral stairs with no thought in his head except how glad he was to be back. They reached their familiar, circular dormitory with its five four-poster beds and Harry, looking around felt he was home at last.**

"How sweet," said Sirius. "I liked that chappie! More! More! More!"

"Patience, Chapter 6 Talons and Tea Leaves, interesting," said Remus. "Ron, how about you read."

"Alright," said Ron as he stepped forward and took the book. Maybe his and Hermione's plan would work out after all.

(A/N: Ooh! What do Ron and Hermione have planned? Curious? You should be. So review. Becuase I'm not posting up chapter 6 froom the book until I get up to 135 reviews. And I have been updating quite frequently so I don't think that is too much to ask for. I would like to thank my lovely Austrailian beta for typing up this chapter (the chapter from the book, I wrote all the other parts). Alex, you are absolutely wonderful! And I'm sorry I spelt your name wrong last chapter, but you know how awful my spelling is! And I hope that those of you who celebrated St. Patricks Day had a wonderful day. I sprained my foot on that day. Ugh. But I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Don't foget to check out some of the songs below, especially the band _The Draco and the Malfoys_.)

**Playlist:**

**Band: Song:**

**We Do Not Spam- That Thing You Do**

**Head Automatica- Beating Heart Baby**

**Copeland- Sleep**

**Tila Tequila- Playgirl Central**

**Panic! At The Disco- The Only Difference**

**Gym Class Heroes- Cupid's Chokehold**

**October Fall- Walking**

**Paramore- Pressure**

**The Seasons Company- With An Artist's Touch**

**Brighten- Friends For Lovers**

**Alexz Johnson- Temporary Insanity**

**Fall Out Boy- Grand Theft Autumn**

**The Draco and The Malfoys- Broomstick**


	7. Talons and Tea Leaves

_**A/N: Enjoy!**_

Remus tossed the book over to Ron so he could begin reading. Ron cleared his throat as he began to read "Chapter Six Talons, and Tea Leaves, ready?" Ron peered over the book to find eager nods. "Alright then...

**When Harry, Ron and Hermione entered the Great Hall for breakfast the next day, the first thing they saw was Draco Malfoy,**

"Prat," muttered Sirius.

**who seemed to be entertaining a large group of Slytherins with a very funny story. As they passed, Malfoy did a ridiculous impression of a swooning fit and there was a roar of laughter.**

"Remus promise you will kill him in the future for me," asked James.

"Sure thing mate," said Remus grinning.

'**Ignore him,' said Hermione, who was right behind Harry. 'Just ignore him, it's not worth it…' **

'**Hey, Potter!' shrieked Pansy Parkinson, a Slytherin girl with a face like a pug.**

"How unattractive," whispered Sirius.

'**Potter! The Dementors are coming, Potter! _Woooooooo!_' **

"That's so funny, I think I've been thrown in to a fit of laughter," said Lily sarcastically. Everyone looked at her, they were obviously surprised to hear that statement come from her mouth, "What?"

**Harry dropped into a seat at the Gryffindor table, next to George Weasley.**

'**New third-year timetables,' said George, passing them over. 'What's up with you Harry?' **

"Draco Malfoy wishes he was up Harry," said Sirius snickering.

"What? My son is straight, he likes girls! Not that it would matter if he liked boys, but I'd atleast expect him to like someone better than Malfoy.." said James.

"Of course, mate. I meant that Malfoy has a crush on Harry," said Sirius smiling.

"Oh, yes," mumbled James.

'**Malfoy,' said Ron, sitting down on George's other side and glaring over at the Slytherin table.**

**George looked up in time to see Malfoy pretending to faint with terror again. **

"Git," whispered James.

'**That little git,' he said calmly. **

"What a cowinky-dink?" said Sirius bubbly.

"Cowinky- what?" asked Lily.

"You know, a cowinky-dink!" said Sirius happily.

"A coincidence," said Remus.

"Oh," replied Lily.

**He wasn't so cocky last night when the Dementors were down our end of the train. Came running into our compartment, didn't he, Fred?'**

'**Nearly wet himself,' said Fred, with a contemptuous glance at Malfoy. **

Sirius and James burst out in laughter, "The little", more laughter "prat!" Sirius continues to laugh, and James finally brings his laughter to a hault.

'**I wasn't too happy myself,' said George. 'They're horrible things, those Dementors…' **

'**Sort of freeze your insides, don't they?' said Fred.**

"That sounds pleasant," retorted James.

'**You didn't pass out, though, did you?' said Harry in a low voice.**

'**Forget it, Harry,' said George bracingly 'Dad had to go out to Azkaban one time, remember, Fred? And he said it was the worst place he'd ever been. He came back all weak and shaking… They suck the happiness out of a place, Dementors. Most of the prisoners go mad in there.' **

"How charming, do you think I will have my own personal maid who will put on my slippers every morning and always make sure that they leave a chocolate frog on my pillow?" asked Sirius sarcastically.

'**Anyway, we'll see how happy Malfoy looks after our first Quidditch match,' said Fred. 'Gryffindor versus Slytherin, first game of the season, remember?'**

"Yeah!" screamed James, who was more than ready to listen to a good game of quidditch.

**The only time Harry and Malfoy had faced each other in a Quidditch match, Malfoy had definitely come off worse.**

"Good thing too," stated James.

**Feeling slightly more cheerful, Harry helped himself to sausages and friend tomatoes. **

"Ew sausage," cried Sirius.

**Hermione was examining her new timetable. **

'**Ooh, good, we're starting some new subjects today,' she said happily. **

"Over-achiever," muttered Sirius.

"What was that?" asked Hermione, with one eyebrow raised.

"Oh, nothing," replied Sirius.

"That's what I thought," snapped Hermione.

'**Hermione,' said Ron, frowning as he looked over her shoulder. 'they've messed up your timetable. Look – they've got you down for about ten subjects a day. There isn't enough _time_.'**

"See," said Sirius.

"Why don't you shut it?" asked Hermione hitting him upside the head.

'**I'll manage. I've fixed it all with Professor McGonagall.' **

'**But look,' said Ron, laughing. 'see this morning? Nine o'clock, Divination. And underneath, nine o'clock, Muggle Studies, And –' Ron leant closer to the timetable, disbelieving, '_look _– underneath that, Arithmancy, _nine o'clock_. I mean, I know you're good, Hermione, but no one's _that_ good. How're you supposed to be in three classes at once?'**

"Sounds like Lily," said James.

'**Don't be silly,' said Hermione shortly. 'Of course I won't be in three classes at once.'**

'**Well, then –' **

'**Pass the marmalade,' said Hermione.**

"Secrets, secrets are no fun, unless you share with everyone!" sang Sirius into Hermione's ear.

"Mind shutting it? It's a story! You have to wait to find out, alright?" said Ron who was almost as frusturated as Hermione. They knew Sirius was a bit of a prat when he was younger but still they never would have believed that he was this annoying.

'**But –'**

'**Oh, Ron, what's it to you if my timetable's a bit full?' Hermione snapped. 'I told you, I've fixed it all with Professor McGonagall.'**

"Are you always this bitter?" asked Sirius. Hermione looked at him, and crossed her arms, while she "humphed".

**Just then, Hagrid entered the Great Hall. He was wearing his long moleskin overcoat and was absent-mindedly swinging a dead polecat from one enormous hand. **

'**All righ'?' he said eagerly, pausing on the way to the staff table. 'Yer in my firs' ever lesson! Right after lunch! Bin up since five getting' everythin' ready … hope its OK … me, a teacher … hones'ly …' **

"Aw, Hagrid accent!" cried Sirius, excited.

**He grinned broadly at them and headed off to the staff table still swinging the polecat.**

'**Wonder what he's been getting ready?' said Ron, a note of anxiety in his voice. **

**The Hall was starting to empty as people headed off towards their first lesson. Ron checked his timetable. **

'**We'd better go, look, Divination's at the top of North Tower. It'll take us ten minutes to get there …' **

"Ugh, Divination, what a worthless subject," muttered Lily, as Hermione mumbled words underneath her breath.

**They finished their breakfast hastily, said goodbye to Fred and George and walked back through the Hall. As they passed the Slytherin table, Malfoy did yet another impression of a fainting fit. **

"That's getting a bit old," replied Sirius haughtily.

**The shouts of laughter followed Harry into the Entrance Hall.**

"Gits," murmured James.

**The journey through the castle to North Tower was a long one. Two years at Hogwarts hadn't taught them everything about the castle, and they had never been inside North Tower before. **

'**There's – got – to – be – a – short – cut,' Ron panted, as they climbed their seventh long staircase and emerged on an unfamiliar landing, where there was nothing but a large painting of a bare stretch of grass hanging on the stone wall. **

'**I think it's this way,' said Hermione peering down the empty passage to the right. **

"Know it all," said Sirius glancing at her.

"Shut it," replied Hermione.

'**Can't be,' said Ron. 'That's south. Look, you can see a bit of the lake out of the window…'**

**Harry was watching the painting. A fat, dapple-grey pony**

"Pony," cired Sirius happily. "Can I have one, can I have one?" said Sirius jumping up and down, as he looked to Lily and James for approval.

"Not if you don't sit your butt down, you won't," yelled Lily agitated.

**had just ambled onto the grass and was grazing nonchalantly. Harry was used to the subjects of Hogwarts paintings moving around and leaving their frames to visit each other, but he always enjoyed watching them. A moment later, a short, squat knight in a suit of armour had clanked into the picture after his pony. By the look of the grass stains on his metal knees, he had just fallen off. **

Sirius was attempting to keep his giggle to a quiet laugh. Needless to say he failed, and burst out with laughter that was combined with a series of snorts.

'**Aha!' he yelled, seeing Harry, Ron and Hermione. 'What villains are these that trespass upon my private lands? Come to scorn at my fall, perchance? Draw, your knaves, you dogs!' **

"Hehe," laughed Sirius rolling over in the grass.

**They watched in astonishment as the little knight**

"Awe! Can I keep him? Please?" asked Sirius as he mustered his most adorable puppy eyes that he could.

**tugged his sword out of its scabbard and began brandishing it violently, hopping up and down in rage.**

Sirius still sat patiently waiting for James and Lily's reply with his puppy eyes plastered across his face.

**But the sword was too long for him;**

Sirius now began whining along with his look of innocence.

**a particularly wild swing made him overbalance, and he landed face down in the grass.**

"On gaurd!" cried Sirius who was in a fit of giggles and had forgotten about keep Sir Cadogan.

'**Are you all right?' said Harry, moving closer to the picture. **

'**Get back, you scurvy braggart! Back, you rogue!'**

"My son isn't a criminal," said Lily as she folded her arms across her chest defensively.

**The knight seized his sword again and used it to push himself back up, but the blade sank deeply into the grass and, though he pulled with all his might, he couldn't get it out again. Finally he had to flop back down onto the grass and push up his visor to mop his sweating face.**

'**Listen,' said Harry, taking advantage of the knight's exhaustion, 'we're looking for the North Tower. You don't know the way, do you?' **

"Good thing, ask the loony for help," said Sirius.

"Have you realized that no one ever asks you for help?" asked James.

"Hmph," replied Sirius.

'**A quest!' The knight's rage seemed to vanish instantly. He clanked to his feet and shouted, 'Come follow my, dear friends, and we shall find our goal, or else shall perish bravely in the charge!'**

"What a loony!" exclaimed Sirius.

**He gave the sword another fruitless tug, tried and failed to mount the fat pony, and cried, 'On foot then, good sirs and gentle lady! On! On!'**

**And he ran, clanking loudly, into the left-hand side of the frame and out of sight.**

"I want a suit of armour!" cried Sirius in excitement.

**They hurried after him along the corridor, following the sound of his armour. Every now and then they spotted him running through a picture ahead. **

'**Be of stout heart, the worst is yet to come!' yelled the knight, and they saw him reappear in front of an alarmed group of women in crinolines, whose picture hung on the wall of a spiral staircase. **

**Puffing loudly, Harry, Ron and Hermione climbed the tightly spiralling steps, getting dizzier and dizzier, until at last they heard the murmur of voices above them, and knew they had reached the classroom. **

'**Farewell!' cried the knight, popping his head into a painting of some sinister-looking monks. 'Farewell, my comrades-in-arms! If ever you have need of noble heart and steel sinew, call upon Sir Cadogan!'**

'**Yeah, we'll call you,' muttered Ron, as the knight disappeared. 'if every we need someone mental.'**

Sirius giggled quite loudly.

**They climbed the last few steps and emerged onto a tiny landing, where most of the class was already assembled. There were no doors off this landing; Ron nudged Harry and pointed at the ceiling, where there was a circular trap door with a brass plaque on it. **

'**Sybill Trelawney, Divination teacher,' Harry read. ' How're we supposed to get up there?'**

**As though in answer to his question. The trap door suddenly opened, and a silvery ladder descended right at Harry's feet. Everyone went quiet.**

'**After you,' said Ron, grinning, so Harry climbed the ladder first. **

**He emerged into the strangest-looking classroom he had ever seen. In fact, it didn't look like a classroom at all; more like a cross between someone's attic and an old-fashioned teashop. At least twenty small, circular tables were crammed inside it, all surrounded by chintz armchairs and fat little pouffes. Everything was lit with a dim, crimson light; the curtains at the windows were all closed, and the many lamps were draped with dark red scarves. It was stiflingly warm, and the fire which was burning under the crowded mantelpiece was giving off a heavy, sickly sort of perfume as it heater a large copper kettle.**

"Yuck," exclaimed Lily.

**The shelves running around the circular walls were crammed with dusty-looking feathers, stubs of candles, many packs of tattered playing cards, countless silvery crystal balls and a huge array of teacups. **

"I hate divination, at least we don't have this bat," cried Sirius happily. "She sounds loony."

**Ron appeared at Harry's shoulder as the class assembled around them, all talking in whispers.**

'**Where is she?' Ron said.**

"Probably predicting her students deaths," said Sirius light-heartedly.

**A voice came suddenly out of the shadows, a soft, misty sort of voice.**

'**Welcome,' it said. 'How nice to see you in the physical world at last.' **

Lily tutted quite loud as she shook her head.

**Harry's immediate impression was of a large, glittering insect. **

"That's cute!" exclaimed Sirius.

**Professor Trelawney moved into the firelight, and they saw that she was very thin; her large glasses magnified her eyes to several times their natural size, and she was draped in a gauzy spangled shawl. Innumerable chains and beads hung around her spindly neck, and her arms and hands were encrusted with bangles and rings. **

"That's just tacky," said Lily.

"Your not lying," said Hermione.

'**Sit, my children, sit,' she said, and they all climbed awkwardly into armchairs or sank onto pouffes. Harry, Ron and Hermione sat themselves around the same round table.**

'**Welcome to Divination,' said Professor Trelawney, who had seated herself in a winged armchair in front of the fire. 'My name is Professor Trelawney. You may not have seen me before. I find that descending too often into the hustle and bustle of the main school clouds my Inner Eye.'**

Lily and Hermione snorted, loudly.

**Nobody said anything in answer to this extraordinary pronouncement. Professor Trelawney delicately rearranged her shawl and continued, 'So you have chosen to study Divination, the most difficult of all magical arts. I must warn you at the outset that if you do not have the Sight. There is very little I will be able to teach you. Books can take you only so far in this field…' At these words, both Harry and Ron glanced, grinning, at Hermione, who looked startled at the news that books wouldn't be much help in this subject.**

Sirius laughed, and Hermione shot him a look of hate.

'**Many witches and wizards, talented though they are in the area of loud bangs and smells and sudden disappearings, are yet unable to penetrate the veiled mysteries of the future,' Professor Trelawney went on, her enormous, gleaming eyes moving from face to nervous face. 'It is a Gift granted to few. You, boy,' she said suddenly to Neville who almost toppled off his pouffe, 'is your grandmother well?'**

'**I think so,' said Neville tremulously. **

'**I wouldn't be so sure if I were you, dear,' said Professor Trelawney, the firelight glinting on her long emerald earrings. Neville gulped. Professor Trelawney continued placidly. 'We will be covering the basic methods of Divination this year. The first term will be devoted to reading the tea leaves. Next term we shall progress to palmistry. By the way, my dear,' she shot suddenly at Parvati Patil, 'beware a red-haired man.'**

**Parvati gave a startled look at Ron, who was right behind her, and edged her chair away from him. **

"Don't even," said Ron before Sirius got a chance to laugh.

'**In the summer term,' Professor Trelawney went on, 'we shall progress to the crystal ball – if we have finished with fire-omens, that is. Unfortunately, classes will be disrupted in February by a nasty bout of flu. I myself will lose my voice. And around Easter one of our number will leave us for ever.'**

"Bullshit," whispered Ron tearing away from his reading.

**A very tense silence followed the pronouncement, but Professor Trelawney seemed unaware of it. **

'**I wonder, dear,' she said to Lavender Brown, who was nearest and shrank back in her chair, 'if you could pass me the largest silver teapot?' **

**Lavender, looking relieved, stood up, took an enormous teapot from the shelf and put it down on the table in front of Professor Trelawney. **

'**Thank you, my dear. Incidentally, that thing you are dreading – it will happen on Friday the sixteenth of October.' **

**Lavender trembled. **

"Crazy lady," said Sirius and everyone nodded in agreement.

'**Now I want you all to divide into pairs. Collect a teacup from the shelf, come to me and I will fill it. Then sit down and drink, drink until only the dregs remain. Swill these around the cup three times with the left hand, then turn the cup upside-down on its saucer, wait for the last of the tea to drain away, then give you cup to you partner to read. You will interpret the patterns using pages five and six of _Unfogging the future_. I shall move among you, helping and instructing. Oh, and dear –' she caught Neville by the arm as he made to stand up, 'after you've broken your first cup, would you be so kind as to select one of the blue patterned ones? I'm rather attached to the pink.'**

**Sure enough, Neville had no sooner reached the shelf of teacups than there was a tinkle of breaking china. Professor Trelawney swept over to him holding a dustpan and brush and said, 'One of the blue ones, then, dear, if you wouldn't mind… thank you…' **

**When Harry and Ron had their teacups filled, they went back to their table and tried to drink the scalding tea quickly. They swilled the dregs around as Professor Trelawney had instructed, then drained the cups and swapped them.**

"Here we go," said Hermione.

'**Right,' said Ron, as they opened their books at pages five and six. 'What can you see in mine?'**

'**A load of soggy brown stuff,' said Harry. The heavily perfumed smoke in the room was making him feel sleepy and stupid. **

'**Broaden your minds, my dears, and allow your eyes to see past the mundane!' Professor Trelawney cried through the gloom.**

**Harry tried to pull himself together.**

'**Right, you've got a wonky sort of cross…' he said, consulting _Unfogging the future_. 'That means you're going to have "trials and suffering" – sorry bout that – but there's a thing that could be the sun. Hang on… that means "great happiness"… so you're going to suffer but be very happy…'**

Everyone burst into a fit of giggles. "My son surely isn't a future divination teacher," said James happily.

'**You need your Inner Eye testing, if you ask me,' said Ron, and they both had to stifle their laughs as Professor Trelawney gazed in their direction.**

'**My turn…' Ron peered into Harry's teacup, his forehead wrinkled with effort. 'There's a blob a bit like a bowler hat,' he said. 'Maybe you're going to work for the Ministry of Magic…'**

**He turned the teacup the other way up.**

'**But this way it looks more like an acorn… what's that?' He scanned his copy of _Unfogging the future._ "A windfall, unexpected gold." Excellent, you can lend me some. And there's a thing here,' he turned the cup again, 'that looks like an animal. Yeah, if that was its head… it looks like a hippo… no, a sheep…' **

**Professor Trelawney whirled around as Harry let out a snort of laughter.**

'**Let me see that, my dear,' she said reprovingly to Ron, sweeping over and snatching Harry's cup from him. Everyone went quiet to watch. **

**Professor Trelawney was staring into the teacup, rotating it anticlockwise. **

'**The falcon… my dear, you have a deadly enemy.'**

'**But everyone knows _that_' said Hermione in a loud whisper. Professor Trelawney stared at her. **

'**Well, they do,' said Hermione. 'Everyone knows about Harry and You-know-who.'**

**Harry and Ron stared at her with a mixture of amazement and admiration. They had never heard Hermione speak to a teacher like that before. Professor Trelawney chose not to reply. She lowered her huge eyes to Harry's cup again and continued to turn it. **

'**The club… an attack. Dear, dear, this is not a happy cup…' **

'**I thought that was a bowler hat,' said Ron sheepishly.**

'**The skull… danger in your path, my dear…'**

**Everyone was staring, transfixed at Professor Trelawney, who gave the cup a final turn, gasped and then screamed.**

**There was another tinkle of breaking china; Neville had smashed his second cup.**

"He's a bit of a clutz ins't he?" asked Remus. Hermione nodded in reply.

**Professor Trelawney sank into a vacant armchair, her glittering hand at her heart and her eyes closed. **

'**My dear boy – my poor dear boy – no – its kinder not to say – no – don't ask me…'**

'**What is it, Professor?' said Dean Thomas at once. Everyone had got to their feat, and slowly, they crowded around Harry and Ron's table, pressing close to Professor Trelawney's chair to get a good look at Harry's cup.**

'**My dear,' Professor Trelawney's huge eyes opened dramatically, 'you have the Grim.'**

'**The what?' said Harry.**

**He could tell that he wasn't the only one who didn't understand; Dean Thomas shrugged at him and Lavender Brown looked puzzled, but nearly everybody else clapped their hands to their mouths in horror. **

'**The Grim, my dear, the Grim!' cried Professor Trelawney who looked shocked that Harry hadn't understood. ' The giant, spectral dog that haunts churchyards! My dear, it is an omen – the worst omen – of _death!_'**

"Oh please!" cried Lily obviously disapproving of Professor Trelawney's ability to interpret tea remains.

**Harry's stomach lurched. That dog on the cover of _Death Omens _in Flourish and Blotts – the dog in the shadows of Magnolia Crescent… Lavender Brown clapped her hands to her mouth, too. Everyone was looking at Harry; everyone except Hermione, who had got up and moved around to the back of Professor Trelawney's chair. **

'**_I _don't think it looks like a Grim,' she said flatly.**

"Nice," said James.

**Professor Trelawney surveyed Hermione with mounting dislike. **

"Oh, that's not a good idea to get on her bad side. She will start predicting your death and everything," said Remus.

'**You'll forgive me for saying so, my dear, but I perceive very little aura around you. Very little receptivity to the resonances of the future.' **

**Seamus finnigan was tilting his head from side to side.**

'**It looks like a Grim if you do this,' he said, with his eyes almost shut, 'but it looks more like a donkey from here,' he said, leaning to the left.**

"Donkey, Trelawney, I think there is a connection there," stated Ron.

'**When you've finished deciding whether I'm going to die or not!' said Harry, taking even himself by surprise. Now nobody seemed to want to look at him.**

'**I think we will leave the lesson here for today,' said Professor Trelawney, in her mistiest voice. 'Yes… please pack away your things…' **

"Seems like an old fraud if you ask me," replied James who had apparently noticed the look of hatred that was plastered across Hermione's face.

**Silently the class took their teacups back to Professor Trelawney, packed away their books and closed their bags. Even Ron was avoiding Harry's eyes. **

'**Until we meet again,' said Professor Trelawney faintly, 'fair fortune be yours. Oh and dear –' she pointed at Neville, 'you'll be late next time, so mind you work extra hard to catch up.' **

**Harry, Ron and Hermione descended Professor Trelawney's ladder and the winding staircase in silence, then set off for Professor McGonagall's Transfiguration lesson. It took them so long to find her classroom that, early as they had left Divination, they were only just in time.**

**Harry chose a seat right at the back of the room, feeling as though he was sitting in a very bright spotlight; the rest of the class kept shooting furtive glances at him, as though he was about to drop dead at any moment. He hardly heard what Professor McGonagall was telling them about Animagi wizards who could transform into animals, and wasn't even watching when she transformed herself in front of their eyes into a tabby cat with spectacle markings around her eyes. **

'**Really, what has got into you all today?' said Professor McGonagall, turning back into herself with a faint _pop_, and staring around at them all. 'Not that it matters, but that's the first time my transformation's not got applause from a class.' **

**Everybody's heads turned towards Harry again, but nobody spoke. Then Hermione raised her hand. **

'**Please, Professor, we've just had our first Divination class, and we were reading the tea leaves, and –' **

'**Ah, of course,' said Professor McGonagall, suddenly frowning. 'There is no need to say any more, Miss Granger. Tell me, which of you will be dying this year?'**

"She's good," said Sirius.

**Everyone stared at her.**

'**Me,' said Harry, finally.**

'**I see,' said Professor McGonagall, fixing Harry with her beady eyes. 'Then you should know, Potter, that Sybill Trelawney has predicted the death of one student a year since she arrived at this school. None of them has died yet. Seeing death omens is her favourite way of greeting a new class. If it were not for the fact that I never speak ill of my colleagues –' Professor McGonagall broke off, and they saw that her nostrils had gone white. She went on, more calmly, 'Divination is one of the most imprecise branches of magic. I shall not conceal from you that I have very little patience with it. True Seers are very rare, and Professor Trelawney…' **

"Is not a true seer," said Hermione.

**She stopped again, and then said, in a very matter-of-fact tone, 'You look in excellent health to me, Potter, so you will excuse me if I don't let you off homework today, I assure you that if you die, you need not hand it in.' **

**Hermione laughed. Harry felt a bit better. It was harder to feel scared of a lump of tea leaves away from the dim red light and befuddling perfume of Professor Trelawney's classroom. Not everyone was convinced, however. Ron still looked worried, and Lavender whispered, 'But what about Neville's cup?' **

**When the Transfiguration class had finished, they joined the crowd thundering towards the Great Hall for lunch. **

'**Ron, cheer up,' said Hermione, pushing a dish of stew towards him. 'You heard what Professor McGonagall said.' **

**Ron spooned stew onto his plate and picked up his fork but didn't start.**

'**Harry,' he said, in a low, serious voice, 'you _haven't _seen a great black dog anywhere, have you?' **

Everyone looked over at Sirius except Lily, who then looked at everyone who was looking at Sirius. "What?" said Sirius sheepishly.

'**Yeah. I have,' said Harry. 'I saw one the night I left the Dursleys.'**

**Ron let his fork fall with a clatter.**

'**Probably a stray,' said Hermione calmly.**

**Ron looked at Hermione as though she had gone mad. **

'**Hermione, if Harry's seen a Grim, that's – that's bad,' he said. 'My – my Uncle Bilius saw one and – and he died twenty-four hours later!'**

'**Coincidence,' said Hermione airily, pouring herself some pumpkin juice.**

"You tell 'em," cried Sirius.

'**You don't know what you're talking about!' said Ron, starting to get angry. 'Grims scare the living daylights out of most wizards!'**

"Well Harry isn't most wizards," said Hermione getting into an argument with Ron.

'**There you are, then,' said Hermione in a superior tone. 'They see the Grim and die of fright. The Grim's not an omen, it's the cause of death! And Harry's still with us because he's not stupid enough to see one and think, right, well, I'd better pop my clogs then!' **

"She's got a point you know," said Remus looking at Ron.

"I know, I know."

**Ron mouthed wordlessly at Hermione, who opened her bag, took out her new Arithmancy book and propped it open against the juice jug.**

'**I think Divination seems very woolly,' she said, searching for her page. 'A lot of guesswork, if you ask me.'**

'**There was nothing woolly about the Grim in that cup!' said Ron hotly. **

'**You didn't seem quite so confident when you were telling Harry it was a sheep,' said Hermione coolly. **

"Burn" exclaimed Sirius.

"Shut up," said Ron in response.

'**Professor Trelawney said you didn't have the right aura! You just don't like being rubbish at something for a change!'**

"This isn't good," said James nervously.

**He had touched a nerve. Hermione slammed her Arithmancy book down on the table so hard that bits of meat and carrot flew everywhere.**

'**If being good at Divination means I have to pretend to see death omens in a lump of tea leaves, I'm not sure I'll be studying it much longer! That lesson was absolutely rubbish compared to my Arithmancy class!' **

"Ooh, she's a Lily clone!" cried Sirius.

"I'd rather it be her then you," replied Lily.

**She snatched up her bag and stalked away. **

**Ron frowned after her.**

'**What's she talking about?' he said to Harry. 'She hasn't been to an Arithmancy class yet.'**

"Ooh a mystery!" exclaimed Sirius happily.

**Harry was pleased to get out of the castle after lunch. Yesterday's rain had cleared; the sky was a clear, pale grey and the grass was springy and damp underfoot as they set off for their first ever Care of Magical Creatures class.**

**Ron and Hermione weren't speaking to each other. Harry walked beside them in silence as they went down the sloping lawns to Hagrid's hut on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. It was only when he spotted three only-too-familiar backs ahead of them that he realised they must be having these lessons with the Slytherins. Malfoy was talking animatedly to Crabbe and Goyle, who were chortling. Harry was quite sure he knew what they were talking about. **

"Prats," whispered James.

**Hagrid was waiting for the class at the door of his hut. He stood in his moleskin overcoat, with Fang the boarhound at his heels, looking impatient to start. **

'**C'mon, now, get a move on!' he called, as the class approached. 'Got a real treat for yeh today! Great lesson comin' up! Everyone here? Right, follow me!' **

**For one nasty moment, Harry thought that Hagrid was going to lead them into the Forest; Harry had had enough unpleasant experiences in there to last him a lifetime. **

"What did all of you do?" asked Sirius.

"We'll tell you later," said Hermione.

**However, Hagrid strolled off around the edge of the trees, and five minutes later they found themselves outside a kind of paddock. There was nothing in there. **

'**Everyone gather round the fence here!' he called. 'That's it – make sure yeh can see. Now, firs' thing yeh'll want ter do is open yer books –'**

'**How?' said the cold, drawling voice of Draco Malfoy.**

"Good question," states Sirius.

'**Eh?' said Hagrid.**

'**How do we open our books?' Malfoy repeated, He took out his copy of _The Monster Book of Monsters_, which he had bound shut with a length of rope. Other people took theirs out, too; some, like Harry had belted their book shut; others had crammed them insight tight bags or clamped them together with bullclips. **

'**Hasn' – hasn' anyone bin able ter open their books?' said Hagrid, looking crestfallen.**

**The class all shook their heads.**

'**Yeh've got ter _stroke_ 'em,' said Hagrid, as though this was the most obvious think in the world. 'Look…' **

**He took Hermione's copy and ripped off the Spellotape that bound it. The book tried to bite, but Hagrid ran a giant forefinger down its spine, and the book shivered, and then fell open and lay quiet in his hand. **

'**Oh, how silly we've all been!' Malfoy sneered. 'We should have _stroked_ them! Why didn't we guess!' **

Sirius was mouthing wordlessly.

'**I … I thought they were funny,' Hagrid said uncertainly to Hermione. **

'**Oh, tremendously funny!' said Malfoy. 'Really witty, giving us books that try and rip our hands off!' **

'**Shut up, Malfoy,' said Harry quietly. Hagrid was looking downcast and Harry wanted Hagrid's first lesson to be a success.**

'**Righ' then,' said Hagrid, who seemed to have lost his thread, 'so… so yeh've got yer books an' … an'… now yeh need the Magical Creatures. Yeah. So I'll go an' get 'em. Hang on…' **

**He strode away from them into the Forest and out of sight. **

'**God this place is going to the dogs,' said Malfoy loudly. 'That oaf teaching classes, my father'll have a fit when I tell him –'**

'**Shut up, Malfoy,' Harry Repeated. **

"You tell him Harry!" cried Sirius and James in unsion.

'**Careful, Potter, there's a Dementor behind you –'**

"Twit," muttered James, attempting to keep himself calm.

'**Oooooooh!' squealed Lavender Brown, pointing towards the opposite side of the paddock.**

**Trotting towards them were a dozen of the most bizarre creatures Harry had ever seen. They had the bodies, hind legs and tails of horses, but the front legs, wings and head of what seemed to be giant eagles, with cruel, steel-coloured beaks and large, brilliantly orange eyes. The talons on their front legs were half a foot long and deadly looking. Each of the beasts had a thick leather collar around its neck, which was attached to a long chain, and the ends of all of these were held in the vast hands of Hagrid, who came jogging into the paddock behind the creatures. **

"Hippogriffs," said Sirius happily.

"Wow I'm proud of you, for once you actually know something," said Lily jokingly.

"Hey, I've always been quite fond of them, I wouldn't mind having one myself." Sirius said as he contemplated the thought of having a hippogriff. Ron and Hermione smiled knowing what the future would bring him.

'**Get up, there!' he roared, shaking the chains and urging the creatures towards the fence where the class stood. Everyone drew back slightly as Hagrid reached them and tethered the creatures to the fence. **

'**Hippogiffs!' Hagrid roared happily, waving a hand at them. **

'**Beau'iful, aren' they?'**

Sirius nodded his head earnestly in agreement.

**Harry could sort of see what Hagrid meant. Once you had got over the first shock of seeing something that was half-horse, half-bird, you started to appreciate the Hippogriffs' gleaming coats, changing smoothly from feather to hair, each of them a different colour, stormy grey, bronze, a pinkish roan, gleaming chestnut and inky black.**

"They sound beautiful," said Sirius.

'**So,' said Hagrid, rubbing his hands together and beaming around, 'if yeh wan' ter come a bit nearer…' **

**No one seemed to want to. Harry, Ron and Hermione, however approached the fence cautiously.**

'**Now, firs' thing yeh gotta know abou' Hippogriffs is they're proud,' said Hagrid. 'Easily offended, Hippogriffs are. 'Don't never insult one, 'cause it might be the last thing yeh do.''**

**Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle weren't listening; they were talking in an undertone and Harry had a nasty feeling they were plotting how best to disrupt the lesson.**

"I really don't care for them," said Lily.

'**Yeh always wait fer the Hippogriff ter make the firs' move,' Hagrid continued. 'It's polite, see? Yeh walk towards him, and yeh bow, an' yeh wait. If he bows back, yeh're allowed ter touch him. If he doesn't bow, then get away from him sharpish, 'cause those talons hurt.' **

"Eh," exclaimed Sirius.

'**Right – who wants ter go first?'**

**Most of the class backed further away in answer. Even Harry, Ron and Hermione had misgivings. The Hippogriffs were tossing their fierce heads and flexing their powerful wings; they didn't seem to like being tethered like this.**

'**No one?' said Hagrid, with a pleading look.**

'**I'll do it,' said Harry.**

"Awe, my son is brave," said James.

"Sure is," stated Sirius.

**There was an intake of breath from behind him and both Lavender and Parvati whispered, 'Oooh, no, Harry, remember your tea leaves!'**

"Stupid girls, they'd give the Ravenclaw girls a run for their money," muttered Lily.

**Harry ignored them. He climbed over the paddock fence.**

'**Good man, Harry!' roared Hagrid. 'Right then – let's see how yeh get on with Buckbeak.'**

"Ooh I like that name, 'Buckbeak'!" said Sirius.

**He untied one of the chains, pulled the grey Hippogriff away from his fellows and slipped off his leather collar. The class on the other side of the paddock seemed to be holding its breath. Malfoy's eyes were narrowed maliciously.**

'**Easy, now, Harry,' Said Hagrid quietly. 'Yeh got eye contact, now try not ter blink – Hippogriffs don't trust yeh if yeh blink too much…' **

**Harry's eyes immediately began to water, but he didn't shut them. Buckbeak had turned his great, sharp head, and was staring at Harry with one fierce orange eye. **

'**Tha's it,' said Hagrid. 'Tha's it, Harry… now, bow…' **

**Harry didn't feel much like exposing the back of his neck to Buckbeak, but he did as he was told. He gave a short bow and then looked up.**

**The Hippogriff was still staring haughtily at him. It didn't move.**

"That's not good," whispered Sirius who looked so anxious that he might wet himself.

'**Ah,' said Hagrid, sounding worried. 'Right – back away, now, Harry, easy does it –'**

**But then to Harry's enormous surprise, the Hippogriff suddenly bent his scaly front knees, and sank into what was an unmistakable bow. **

'**Well done, Harry!' said Hagrid, ecstatic. 'Right – yeh can touch him! Pat his beak, go on!'**

**Feeling that a better reward would have been to back away, Harry moved slowly towards the Hippogriff and reached out towards him. He patted the beak several times and the Hippogriff closed his eyes lazily, as though enjoying it.**

"How cute," said Sirius.

**The class broke into applause, all except for Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle, who were looking deeply disappointed.**

"You know, I don't think I care for them much either, but I suppose I shouldn't talk about my pupils that way," said Remus.

"Welcome to the dark side mate," cried Sirius happily.

'**Righ' then, Harry,' said Hagrid, 'I reckon he migh' let yeh ride him!'**

**This was more than Harry had bargained for. He was used to a broomstick; but he wasn't sure a Hippogriff would be quite the same. **

'**Yeh climb up there, jus' behind the wing joint,' said Hagrid, 'an' mind yeh don' pull any of his feathers out, he won' like that…' **

**Harry put his foot on the top of Buckbeaks wing and hoisted himself onto his back. Buckbeak stood up. Harry wasn't sure where to hold on; everything in front of him was covered in feathers. **

'**Go on, then!' roared Hagrid, slapping the Hippogriff's hindquarters.**

"This should be fun!" said Sirius.

"I think I want to fly a hippogriff," stated James in reply.

**Without warning, twelve-foot wings flapped open on either side of Harry; he just had time to seize the Hippogriff around the neck before he was soaring upwards. It was nothing like a broomstick, and Harry knew which one he preferred; the Hippogriff's wings were beating uncomfortable on either side of him, catching him under his legs and making him feel as if he was about to be thrown off; the glossy feathers slipped under his fingers and he didn't dare get a stronger grip; instead of the smooth action of his Nimbus Two Thousand, he now felt himself rocking backwards and forwards as the hindquarters of the Hippogriff rose and fell with his wings.**

"Sounds lovely," said Remus.

**Buckbeak flew him once around the paddock and then headed back to ground; this was the bit Harry had been dreading; he leant back as the smooth neck lowered, feeling he was going to slip off over the beak; then he felt a heavy thud as the four ill-assorted feet hit the ground, and just managed to hold on and push himself straight again. **

'**Good work, Harry!' roared Hagrid, as everyone except Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle cheered. 'OK, who else wants a go?'**

**Emboldened by Harry's success, the rest of the class climbed cautiously into the paddock. Hagrid untied the Hippogriffs one by one, and soon people were bowing nervously, all over the paddock. Neville ran repeatedly backwards from his, which didn't seem to want to bend its knees. Ron and Hermione practised on the chestnut, while Harry watched.**

**Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle had taken over Buckbeak. He had bowed to Malfoy, who was now patting his beak, looking disdainful.**

'**This is very easy,' Malfoy drawled, loud enough for Harry to hear him. 'I knew it must have been, if Potter could do it… I bet you're not dangerous at all, are you?' he said to the Hippogriff. 'Are you, you ugly great brute?'**

"That's not a smart thing to do," said Lily disapprovingly.

**It happened in a flash of steely talons; Malfoy let out a high pitched scream and next moment, Hagrid was wrestling Buckbeak back into his collar as he strained to get at Malfoy, who lay curled in the grass, blood blossoming over his robes.**

'**I'm dying!' Malfoy yelled, as the class panicked. 'I'm dying, look at me! It's killed me!'**

"Not so tough now, are you?" cried James who was bustling with excitement.

'**Yeh not dyin'!' said Hagrid, who had gone very white. 'Someone help me – gotta get him outta here –'**

**Hermione ran to open the gate while Hagrid lifted Malfoy easily. As they passed, Harry saw that there was a long, deep gash in Malfoy's arm; blood splattered the grass and Hagrid ran with him, up the slope towards the castle. **

**Very shaken, the Care of Magical Creatures class followed at a walk. The Slytherins were all shouting about Hagrid. **

'**They should sack him straight away!' said Pansy Parkinson, who was in tears.**

"Oh I hate her," said Hermione furiously.

'**It was Malfoy's fault!' snapped Dean Thomas. Crabbe and Goyle flexed their muscles threateningly.**

"Stupid cronies," retorted James.

**They all climbed the stone steps into the deserted Entrance Hall.**

'**I'm going to see if he's OK!' said Pansy, and they all watched her run up the marble staircase. The Slytherins, still muttering about Hagrid, headed away in the direction of their dungeon common room; Harry, Ron and Hermione proceeded upstairs to Gryffindor Tower. **

'**D'you think he'll be all right?' said Hermione nervously.**

''**Course he will, Madam Pomfrey can mend cuts in about a second,' said Harry, who had had far worse injuries mended magically by the matron.**

"He isn't lying," said Ron.

'**That was a really bad thing to happen in Hagrid's first class, though, wasn't it?' said Ron, looking worried. 'Trust Malfoy to mess things up for him…'**

**They were among the first to reach the Great Hall at dinnertime, hoping to see Hagrid, but he wasn't there.**

'**They _wouldn't_ sack him, would they?' said Hermione anxiously, not touching her steak-and-kidney pudding.**

"Oh I hope not!" cried Sirius who seemed genuinely worried.

'**They'd better not,' said Ron, who wasn't eating either.**

**Harry was watching the Slytherin table. A large group including Crabbe and Goyle were huddled together, deep in conversation. Harry was sure they were cooking up their own version of how Malfoy had got injured.**

Almost everyone in the group looked extremely sour at this point.

'**Well, you can't say it wasn't an interesting first day back,' said Ron gloomily. **

**They went up to the crowded Gryffindor common room after dinner and tried to do the homework Professor McGonagall had set them, but all three of them kept breaking off and glancing out of the tower window. **

'**There's a light on in Hagrid's window,' Harry said suddenly.**

**Ron looked at his watch. **

'**If we hurried, we could go down and see him, it's still quite early…'**

'**I don't know,' Hermione said slowly, and Harry saw her glance at him.**

'**I'm allowed to walk across the _grounds_,' he said pointedly. 'Sirius Black hasn't got past the Dementors here, has he?'**

Sirius looked almost completely white as he started killing ants with his fingers.

**So they put their things away and headed out of the portrait hole, glad not to meet anybody on their way to the front doors, as they weren't entirely sure there were supposed to be out. **

**The grass was still wet and looked almost black in the twilight. When they reached Hagrid's hut, they knocked, and a voice growled, 'C'min.'**

**Hagrid was sitting in his shirt-sleeves at this scrubbed wooden table; his boarhound, Fang, had his head in Hagrid's lap. One look told them that Hagrid had been drinking a lot; there was a pewter tankard almost as big as a bucket in front of him, and he seemed to be having difficulty in getting them into focus.**

'**Spect it's a record,' he said thickly, when he recognised them. 'Don' reckon they've ever had a teacher who on'y lasted a day before.'**

"Oh," cried Lily who sound quite sad.

'**You haven't been sacked, Hagrid!' gasped Hermione.**

'**Not yet,' said Hagrid miserably, taking a huge gulp of whatever was in the tankard. 'But 's only a matter o' time, i'n't it, after Malfoy…' **

Everyone with the exception of Ron and Hermione let out gasps of relief.

'**How is he?' said Ron, as they all sat down. 'It wasn't serious was it?'**

'**Madam Pomfrey fixed him best she could,' said Hagrid dully, 'but he's sayin' it's still agony… covered in bandages… moanin'…'**

'**He's faking it,' said Harry at once. 'Madam Pomfrey can mend anything. She regrew half my bones last year. Trust Malfoy to milk it for all it's worth.'**

"Ew," exclaimed Sirius.

'**School gov'nors have bin told, o' course,' said Hagrid miserably. 'They reckon I started too big. Shoulda left Hippogriffs for later… done Flobberworms or summat… jus' thought it'd make a good firs' lesson… 's all my fault…'**

"Poor Hagrid!" cried Sirius.

'**It's all _Malfoy_'s fault, Hagrid!' said Hermione earnestly.**

'**We're witnesses,' said Harry. 'You said Hippogriffs attack if you insult them. It's Malfoy's problem he wasn't listening. We'll tell Dumbledore what really happened.'**

'**Yeah, don't worry. Hagrid, we'll back you up,' said Ron.**

**Tears leaked out of the crinkled corners of Hagrid's beetle-black eyes. He grabbed both Harry and Ron and pulled them into a bone-breaking hug.**

"I like those!" said Sirius on a happier note.

'**I think you've had enough to drink, Hagrid,' said Hermione firmly. She took the tankard from the table and went outside to empty it. **

'**Ar, maybe she's right,' said Hagrid, letting go of Harry and Ron, who both staggered away, rubbing their ribs. Hagrid heaved himself out of his chair and followed Hermione unsteadily outside. They heard a loud splash.**

'**What's he doing?' said Harry nervously, as Hermione came back in with the empty tankard.**

'**Stuck his head in the water barrel,' said Hermione, putting the tankard away.**

"That's smart," stated Sirius.

**Hagrid came back, his long hair and beard sopping wet, wiping the water out of his eyes.**

'**Tha's better,' he said shaking his head like a dog and drenching them all. 'Listen, it was good of yeh ter come an' see me, I really –'**

**Hagrid stopped dead, staring at Harry as though he'd only just realised he was there.**

'**WHAT D'YEH THINK YOU'RE DOIN', EH?' he roared, so suddenly that they jumped a foot in the air. 'YEH'RE NOT TO GO WANDERIN' AROUND AFTER DARK, HARRY! AN' YOU TWO! LETTIN' HIM!'**

"What? He was just-" said Sirius confused.

"He just now realized that they shouldn't be there," explained Lily.

"Oh, gotcha," said Sirius scratching his head.

**Hagrid strode over to Harry, grabbed his arm and pulled him to the door. **

'**C'mon!' Hagrid said angrily. 'I'm takin' yeh all back up ter school, an' don' let me catch yeh walkin' down ter see me after dark again. I'm not worth that!'**

"Sure he is," said Sirius.

"Well that's it for chapter six, next chapter is 'The Boggart in the Wardrobe'." stated Ron as he flipped through the book. "Ready?" Everyone nodded their head in agreement as Ron began the first page of chapter seven.

_**A/N: Hermione and Ron have not yet started their plan obviously. It wont start till later chapters, but I want to keep my readers on the edge of their chair in anticipation. Sorry. I hope you all enjoyed it. This was rather a difficult chapter to make funny, and I haven't been in much of a writing mood, so I also apologize if the writing isn't up to par. And there wasn't much to write in this chapter, because this chapter was explaining Harry's new lessons in the book, so those aren't necessarily funny. Yet, next chapter should be good, because it's Lupin's lesson! Hurray! Well, summer is about to start and chapters should be done much quicker with all the free time. And I'm quite happy I got this done today, because in a couple of hours I'm about to go see Three Days Grace! So hurray. That's my reward for getting this chapter done. Let's get those reviews up to 170 before I update. Ohh and thank you Alex for typing up the chapter, and for being a wonderful supportive beta. Have a wonderful summer.**_

_**-Kait**_

Playlist:

Your Exlover Is Dead- Stars

White Lines- Alexz Johnson

Under The Bridge- Red Hot Chilli Peppers

The Blues Are Still Blue- Belle and Sebastian

Such Great Heights- The Postal Service

Beating Hearts Baby- Head Automatica

Say Anything-Else- Cartel

Masterpeice- Bayside

The World- The Starting Line

Are You Ready- Three Days Grace

Caring Is Creepy- The Shins


	8. The Boggart In The Wardrobe

**"Malfoy didn't reappear in classes until late on Thursday morning, when the Slytherins and Gryffindors were halfway through double Potions. He swaggered into the dungeon, his right arm covered in bandages and bound up in a sling, acting, in Harry's opinion, as though he was the heroic survivor of some dreadful battle. **

"Prat," exclaimed Sirius, who was obviously disturbed of Malfoy's attitude that appeared to be screaming "I run this school."

'**How is it, Draco?' simpered Pansy Parkinson. 'Does it hurt much?'**

"Of course not, you silly girl!" cried James who appeared to be equally disturbed.

'**Yeah,' said Malfoy, putting on a brave sort of grimace. But Harry saw him wink at Crabbe and Goyle when Pansy had looked away. **

"Why is it that he reminds me of you?" asked Lily.

"He isn't the least bit like me," spat James.

"I wouldn't hang out with James if he acted like that greasy git," replied Sirius.

'**Settle down, settle down,' said Professor Snape idly. **

**Harry and Ron scowled at each other; Snape wouldn't have said 'settle down' if _they_'d walked in late, he'd have given them detention. But Malfoy had always been able to get away with anything in Snape's classes; Snape was Head of Slytherin house, and generally favoured his own students before all others. **

"Even a bigger prat if I saw one," said Sirius as if he was the announcer in a contest between Snape and Malfoy about who could be more idiotic.

**They were making a new potion today, a Shrinking Solution. Malfoy set up his cauldron right next to Harry and Ron, so that they were preparing their ingredients on the same table. **

'**Sir,' Malfoy called. 'sir, I'll need help cutting up these daisy roots, because of my arm -' **

'**Weasley, cut up Malfoy's roots for him,' said Snape, without looking up.**

"No," cried Sirius.

**Ron went brick red. **

"Uh-oh," said Sirius who seemed to be considering the outcome of this lesson.

'**There's nothing wrong with your arm,' he hissed at Malfoy.**

**Malfoy smirked across the table. **

'**Weasley, you heard Professor Snape, cut up these roots.'**

"That little-"

"Hush Sirius here comes McGonagall," said Remus looking up at the figure who was striding across the lawn towards the group.

"Lupin, Potter, Black, Evans," she said as she took in the new students.

"Yes professor?" asked Lily who was now standing up.

"Dumbledore needs to see you," she said as she quickly spun around to return up to the castle.

Once McGonagall was out of ear shot Lily quickly helped Remus, Sirius, and James up to their feet. "We will be right back," she said pushing Sirius in the direction of the castle to signal him to begin the walk. "We'll leave you the book, we should be back in twenty minutes or so."

"That's fine," replied Hermione who looked at Ron with great interest.

Hermione and Ron pretended to hold conversation until they saw the last of the group enter the school.

"Do it, now!" hissed Ron looking at Hermione.

"I know, I'm trying to remember the spell," she said in clear agitation. Hermione seized the book from the ground and began to flip through the pages, she did that for a couple minutes, it appeared as if she was searching for something valuable.

"Would you do it already?" asked Ron who now seemed to be the one who was clearly agitated.

"Hold on! It takes concentration Ron, but of course you have no idea what that is." she said as she searched the pages more thoroughly.

"I do too know what concentration is!" cried Ron out of frustration.

"I don't care if you know what 'onomatopoeia' is, just shut up!" Hermione kept searching through the pages for a couple more minutes, before taking out her wand. Hermione closed her eyes and spread her hand across a page in the book before speaking the enchantment. She left her hand there for another minute or two then quietly whispered "Mudanca Livro".

Hermione flipped through the pages of the book, while skimming to check for mistakes. "It seems to be all there, just how we planned it."

"Exactly how we planned it?" asked Ron who seemed to be more uptight than Hermione for once.

"It's perfect, now stop asking questions Ron," she said as she looked out across the lake.

"Let's just hope that we don't change the future," said Ron thoughtfully.

Soon enough the group reappeared and resumed their places on the grass. "Miss us?" cried Sirius.

"Of course," replied Hermione.

"Where was I?" asked Ron as picked up the book from the grass. "Oh okay, everyone ready?" Ron looked up to find all five looking back at him with anticipation in his eyes.

**Ron seized his knife, pulled Malfoy's roots towards him and began to chop them roughly, so that they were all different sizes.**

'**Professor,' drawled Malfoy, 'Weasley's mutilating my roots, sir' **

**Snape approached their table, stared down his hooked nose at the roots, then gave Ron an unpleasant smile from beneath his long, greasy black hair. **

'**Change roots with Malfoy, Weasley.'**

'**But sir –!'**

**Ron had spent the last quarter of an hour carefully shredding his own roots into exactly equal pieces.**

"Oh no he didn't!" cried Sirius who shook his finger as he began to burst out in a rage of curses.

Ron shook his head and resumed the story.

'**_Now,_' said Snape in his most dangerous voice.**

**Ron shoved his own beautifully cut roots across the table at Malfoy, then took up his knife again. **

'**And, sir, I'll need this Shrivelfig skinned,' said Malfoy, his voice full of malicious laughter. **

'**Potter, you can skin Malfoy's Shrivelfig,' said Snape, giving Harry the look of loathing he always reserved just for him. **

**Harry took Malfoy's Shrivelfig as Ron set about trying to repair the damage to the roots he now had to use. Harry skinned the Shrivelfig as fast as he could and flung it back across the table at Malfoy without speaking. Malfoy was smirking more broadly than ever. **

'**Seen your pal Hagrid lately?' he asked them quietly.**

"Ohhh!" screamed Sirius who seemed to appear as if he was about to begin a rampage.

'**None of your business,' said Ron jerkily, without looking up.**

'**I'm afraid he won't be a teacher much longer,' said Malfoy, in a tone of mock sorrow. 'Father's not very happy about my injury –' **

"Your father can take my fucking wand and shove it up-"

"Sirius!" cired Lily. "I don't care how much you dislike Malfoy, watch your language!"

"Yes, mom." responded Sirius.

'**Keep talking, Malfoy, and I'll give you a real injury,' snarled Ron.**

"See you agree!" exclaimed Sirius as he pointed at Ron.

Ron quickly returned to the story.

'– **he's complained to the school governors. _And_ to the Ministry of Magic. Father's got a lot of influence, you know. And a lasting injury like this –' he gave a huge, fake sigh, 'who knows if my arm'll ever be the same again?' **

'**So that's why you're putting it on,' said Harry, accidentally beheading a dead caterpillar because his hand was shaking in anger. 'To try and get Hagrid sacked.' **

"That foul little ferret," cried Hermione.

"Ferret?" asked Remus.

"Long story," explained Hermione.

'**Well,' said Malfoy, lowering his voice to a whisper, '_partly_ Potter. But there are other benefits too, Weasley, slice my caterpillars for me.' **

**A few cauldrons away, Neville was in trouble. Neville regularly went to pieces in Potions lessons; it was his worst subject, and his great fear of Professor Snape made things ten times worse. His potion, which was supposed to be a bright, acid green, had turned –'**

'**Orange, Longbottom,' said Snape, ladling some up and allowing it to splash back into the cauldron, so that everyone could see. 'Orange. Tell me, boy, does anything penetrate that thick skull of yours? Didn't you hear me say, quite clearly, that only one rat spleen was needed? Didn't I state plainly that a dash of leech juice would suffice? What do I have to do to make you understand, Longbottom?' **

"That's a bit harsh," replied Lily.

"Of course, anything out of that git's mouth is not worth listening to." said James.

**Neville was pink and trembling. He looked as though he was on the verge of tears. **

'**Please, sir,' said Hermione, 'please, I could help Neville put it right –'**

'**I don't remember asking you to show off, Miss Granger,' said Snape coldly, and Hermione went as pink as Neville. 'Longbottom, at the end of this lesson we will feed a few drops of this potion to your toad and see what happens. Perhaps that will encourage you to do it properly.'**

"Oh no," cried Lily.

**Snape moved away, leaving Neville breathless with fear. **

'**Help me!' he moaned to Hermione.**

'**Hey, Harry,' said Seamus Finnigan, leaning over to borrow Harry's brass scales, 'have you heard?_ Daily Prophet _this morning – they reckon Sirius Black's been sighted.' **

Sirius scoffed.

'**Where?' said Harry and Ron quickly. On the other side of the table, Malfoy looked up, listening closely.**

'**Not too far from here,' said Seamus, who looked excited. 'It was a Muggle who saw him. 'Course, she didn't really understand. The Muggles think he's just an ordinary criminal, don't they?' So she 'phoned the telephone hotline. By the time the Ministry of Magic got there, he was gone.' **

'**Not too far from here…' Ron repeated, looking significantly at Harry. He turned around and saw Malfoy watching closely. 'What, Malfoy? Need something else skinning?' **

**But Malfoy's eyes were shining malevolently, and they were fixed on Harry. He leant across the table. **

'**Thinking of trying to catch Black single-handed, Potter?'**

'**Yeah, that's right,' said Harry offhandedly.**

**Malfoy's thin mouth was curving in a mean smile. **

'**Of course, if it was me,' he said quietly, I'd have done something before now. I wouldn't be staying in school like a good boy, I'd be out there looking for him.'**

"He's trying to provoke my son!" cried Lily.

'**What are you talking about, Malfoy?' said Ron roughly. **

'**Don't you _know_, Potter?' breathed Malfoy, his pale eyes narrowed. **

'**Know what?' **

**Malfoy let out a low, sneering laugh. **

'**Maybe you'd rather not risk your neck,' he said. 'Want to leave it to the Dementors, do you? But if it was me, I'd want revenge. I'd hunt him down myself.'**

'**_What are you talking about?_' said Harry angrily, but at that moment Snape called, 'You should have finished adding your ingredients by now. This potion needs to stew before it can be drunk; clear away while it simmers and then we'll test Longbottom's…' **

**Crabbe and Goyle laughed openly, watching Neville sweat as he stirred his potion feverishly. Hermione was muttering instructions to him out of the corner of her mouth, so that Snape wouldn't see. Harry and Ron packed away their unused ingredients and went to was their hands and ladles in the stone basin in the corner. **

'**What did Malfoy mean?' Harry muttered to Ron, as he stuck his hands under the icy jet that poured from a gargoyle's mouth. 'Why would I want revenge on Black? He hasn't done anything to me – yet.'**

"Exactly!" cried Sirius in joy.

'**He's making it up,' said Ron, savagely, 'he's trying to make you do something stupid…' **

**The end of the lesson in sight, Snape strode over to Neville, who was cowering by his cauldron.**

"Poor thing" said Lily.

'**Everyone gather round,' said Snape, his black eyes glittering, 'and watch what happens to Longbottom's toad. If he has managed to produce a Shrinking Solution, it will shrink to a tadpole. If, as I doubt, he has done it wrong, his toad is likely to be poisoned.'**

**The Gryffindors watched fearfully. The Slytherins looked excited. Snape picked up Trevor the toad in his left hand, and dipped a small spoon into Neville's potion, which was now green. He trickled a few drops down Trevor's throat. **

**There was a moment of hushed silence, in which Trevor gulped, then there was a small _pop_, and Trevor the tadpole was wriggling in Snape's palm. **

"Thank god," cired Lily and Sirius together.

**The Gryffindors burst into applause. Snape looking sour, pulled a small bottle from the pocket of his robe, poured a few drops on top of Trevor and he reappeared suddenly, fully grown.**

'**Five points from Gryffindor,' said Snape, which wiped the smiles from every face. 'I told you not to help him, Miss Granger. Class dismissed.'**

**Harry, Ron and Hermione climbed the steps to the Entrance Hall. Harry was still thinking about what Malfoy had said, while Ron was seething about Snape. **

'**Five points from Gryffindor because the potion was all right! Why didn't you lie, Hermione? You should've said Neville did it all by himself!' **

**Hermione didn't answer. Ron looked around.**

'**Where is she?'**

**Harry turned too. They were at the top of the stairs now, watching the rest of the class pass them, heading for the Great Hall and lunch. **

'**She was right behind us,' said Ron, frowning.**

"Where are you Hermione?" asked Sirius stupidly.

"Don't worry about it," she replied.

**Malfoy passed them, walking between Crabbe and Goyle. He smirked at Harry and disappeared.**

'**There she is,' said Harry. **

**Hermione was panting slightly, hurrying up the stairs; one hand was clutching her bag, the other seemed to be tucking something down the front of her robes.**

'**How did you do that?' said Ron.**

'**What?' said Hermione, joining them.**

'**One minute you were right behind us, and next moment, you were back at the bottom of the stairs again.'**

'**What?' Hermione looked slightly confused. 'Oh – I had to go back for something. Oh, no…' **

**A seam had split in Hermione's bag. Harry wasn't surprised; he could see that it was crammed with at least a dozen large and heavy books.**

'**Why are you carrying all these around with you?' Ron asked her. **

'**You know how many subjects I'm taking,' said Hermione breathlessly. 'Couldn't hold these for me, could you?' **

'**But –' Ron was turning over the books she had handed him, looking at the covers – 'you haven't got any of these subjects today. It's only Defence Against the Dark Arts this afternoon.' **

'**Oh, yes,' said Hermione vaguely, but she packed all the books back into her bag all the same. 'I hope there's something good for lunch, I'm starving.' she added, and she marched off towards the Great Hall. **

'**D'you get the feeling Hermione's not telling us something?' Ron asked Harry.**

"Caught in the act," said Sirius smiling.

"Let's break for lunch," replied Lily looking at her watch.

"Sounds like a plan," replied James moving his arm around her.

_A/N: Sorry so short, but there is reason to why it's short, you'll find out in the next chapter._

**Playlist:**

**Such Great Heights- Iron & Wire**

**Swing Life Away- Rise Against**

**A Last Farewell- LoveHateHero**

**Beyond Repair- Sir Clivis the First**

**Whats Up Now- Scary Kids Scaring Kids**

**Two Inches From A Main Artery- Through The Eyes Of The Dead**

**Where Does The Good Go?- Tegan & Sara**

**Making Love To The Camera- The Starting Line**

**Let's Get Fucked Up & Die- Motion City Soundtrack**

**Die, Die, Die My Darling- The Misfits**


	9. Mistakes

The group of students made their way into the castle talking about nothing in particular with no care in the world. James split from the rest of the group to put the book in the dormitory where they all knew it would be safe. James made his way to the dormitory with ease. "Flobberworms," said James when he stood face to face with the portrait of the fat lady.

He walked through the common room and up the stairs to his dormitory that he shared with three other young men. James had figured that this would be the safest place for the book, but little did he know he was quite wrong. He shoved the book under his bed and quickly ran down to the Great Hall. As soon as he had shut the door to the common room, a little chuckle slipped from one of the marauder's mouth as he seized the book from underneath the bed.

"You put it in safety?" asked Remus while taking a huge bite out of his roast beef sandwhich.

"Of course, what do you take me for, an idiot?" he asked slipping in between Lily and Remus.

"Well I can't wait to finish the chapter after lunch, it's finally starting to get interesting," said Lily as she flipped her long red hair over her shoulder.

"Yeah, Lupin's first lesson is in this chapter," said a distracted Hermione who was fighting away Sirius's hands from eating her pudding. "Get your own!"

"Hmph, someone's grouchy," replied Sirius.

"Sorry that I happen to like my pudding," she resumed eating until she couldn't stand Sirius's eyes on her any longer. She picked up a bowl and spoon and placed the bowl of pudding in front of Sirius.

"No!" exclaimed Sirius. "I want your pudding," he said managing to sound completely serious.

"Why?" she yelled.

"Because, it's prettier!" Hermione had it, she took his bowl full of pudding and handed him her half-eaten bowl.

"Better?" she asked.

"Very," he replied as he dug into his pudding with great enthusiasm.

"Kids," mumbled Hermione.

They ate and talked and fought over pudding for another twenty minutes until the last spoon clattered in the empty bowl. They all got up and decided to go retrieve the book so they could read another few chapters before dinner. Hermione, Lily, and Remus walked together discussing books, while Sirius kept on wandering off to talk to random portraits. James and Ron were in a deep discussion of Quidditch, and before any of them knew it they were standing directly in front of the portrait of the fat lady. "Flobberworms," said Lily who then quickly resumed her conversation about her favorite book.

James made his way into the common room first and was then followed by Ron and the rest of the gang. James and Ron carried their discussion about Quidditch all the way up the stairs and into James's dormitory. Ron was talking about the time when Harry made an excellent save when it was his first time on a broom, while James listened intently. James reached under the bed, while listening to Ron describe Harry's quick plunge back to earth. James hand didn't feel anything. "No," exclaimed a horrified James.

"What?" asked Ron who was extremely irritated that his story had come to a halt.

"The book," yelled James crawling underneath his bed. "It's gone!" cried James who stuck his whole body underneath his bed hoping that his hand missed it.

"Are you sure?" asked Ron.

"Go get Remus," he replied shoving his head out from underneath the bed.

"Right," said Ron who dashed down the stairs to pull Remus away from the vicious claws of Lily and Hermione. Thirty seconds later Remus and James were in their dormitory ripping everything apart in search for the book. Ron was looking underneath all the beds in hope that James had a memory lapse and forgot which bed was his.

Sirius walked in and gasped. "Are we making a fort?" he cried. "Yay!" he exclaimed as he started moving the beds.

"Sirius stop!" cried James out of frustration. "We are not making a fort, okay?"

"Then what are we doing?" Sirius asked quizically.

"Looking for the book," Remus replied solemnly.

"Well where'd you put it? Because that's where it is." said Sirius sitting on his own four-post bed.

"Someone must've stolen it," said Remus. "That's the only logical explanation."

"But who?" asked James.

"Who could use that information the most?" asked Ron who knew the answer to his own question.

"No," replied Remus.

"Couldn't be," replied James who appeared to be in deep thought. "You really think so?"

"It's a completely logical explanation," said Remus. "I just hope we're wrong."

"Who are we talking about?" cried Sirius who was completely lost at this point.

"You-Know-Who," replied Ron.


End file.
